How do you go about reframing thoughts around how much life and time has been wasted because of ocd. I hate that ocd has stolen so much of my joy
What a great question. I understand this 100% sometimes i feel resentment about this too and it's hard to reframe it. i think it's okay to feel mad about it sometimes. I noticed It's much easier to reframe after I've gotten some treatment and am starting to feel better. On reframing: I think having OCD has led me to have a deeper relationship with others than i might have otherwise had. Due to suffering, I have learned to become more open with others, more empathetic, more authentic, more connected with people. People seeing me be vulnerable then often open up about their vulnerabilities. Also I got to see very clearly who were the helpers and friends in my life -- the people who really cared about me and really loved me. I also learned through OCD about tolerating discomfort and pain-- something all of us (with or without ocd) will benefit from knowing. I learned there can be joy or peace in the midst of pain. I have periodically experienced this myself too. Also, I think some of my worst suffering has resulted in a gratitude that I might never have had. For example, when I was discharged from the psychiatric hospital, the experience of finally having a warm shower in my own place, having the freedom to just go where i wanted when i wanted, seeing friends again, dancing, sitting out in the fall breeze, was an entirely different and deeper experience. The simple was not mundane. It was powerful and beautiful. I remember crying a lot of happy tears over getting to do really basic stuff. Also i think when i got treatment, i started to see the world for what it really is, in all it's probability and complexity. I am letting go more and more each day with the 100% absolute certainty and black-and-white mindset that ensnares all people to some degree. Thanks for asking this question. It helped me to reflect on my own reframing!
I feel for you in this moment. In the depths of OCD, it can make you feel so guilty, so sad, so isolated, and so hopeless at times. I want you to know that there is *so* much hope for to recover and to live a life where you don't feel this way. I know it's hard to see it now or believe that it's true, but OCD is very responsive to treatment. Have you checked out some of the free tools we have on the app? Maybe some of our educational webinars? I know we have talked a lot there about guilt, shame, etc., and I think some of that might be helpful. It might also be helpful to check out our support groups just to know you're not alone. Wishing you the best of luck and the NOCD team is here for you if you are ever ready to take the step with therapy!
Thank you so much Stacy!
This response was so thoughtful and made me cry. I really appreciate this reflective insight. Thank you. You’re so right. I have one of my best friends because of my OCD, as we might on a Facebook forum about ocd.. and I have also learned a lot along the way too that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Thank you for sharing and taking the time to write that. I think it’ll help a lot of people.
In hindsight:: I’m so glad for the ocd and the tips that it has given me. I’m so much better even than before I had my ocd.
Yes this is often the source of my pain and my continued journey. I find myself reflecting and hurting but then I remember I'm doing it again and that's wasting more time.
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
So after my ocd has become more prominent, it gets harder to fight through these compulsion’s everyday. I don’t go to therapy or take any medications and to be honest I am very lost in my journey on how to navigate life with ocd. I don’t want it to take over my life. I want to be able to feel like I can live without a weight on my chest and to finally feel like I can breathe. Any suggestions or words of advice is more than welcome.
17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.
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