How do you go about reframing thoughts around how much life and time has been wasted because of ocd. I hate that ocd has stolen so much of my joy
What a great question. I understand this 100% sometimes i feel resentment about this too and it's hard to reframe it. i think it's okay to feel mad about it sometimes. I noticed It's much easier to reframe after I've gotten some treatment and am starting to feel better. On reframing: I think having OCD has led me to have a deeper relationship with others than i might have otherwise had. Due to suffering, I have learned to become more open with others, more empathetic, more authentic, more connected with people. People seeing me be vulnerable then often open up about their vulnerabilities. Also I got to see very clearly who were the helpers and friends in my life -- the people who really cared about me and really loved me. I also learned through OCD about tolerating discomfort and pain-- something all of us (with or without ocd) will benefit from knowing. I learned there can be joy or peace in the midst of pain. I have periodically experienced this myself too. Also, I think some of my worst suffering has resulted in a gratitude that I might never have had. For example, when I was discharged from the psychiatric hospital, the experience of finally having a warm shower in my own place, having the freedom to just go where i wanted when i wanted, seeing friends again, dancing, sitting out in the fall breeze, was an entirely different and deeper experience. The simple was not mundane. It was powerful and beautiful. I remember crying a lot of happy tears over getting to do really basic stuff. Also i think when i got treatment, i started to see the world for what it really is, in all it's probability and complexity. I am letting go more and more each day with the 100% absolute certainty and black-and-white mindset that ensnares all people to some degree. Thanks for asking this question. It helped me to reflect on my own reframing!
I feel for you in this moment. In the depths of OCD, it can make you feel so guilty, so sad, so isolated, and so hopeless at times. I want you to know that there is *so* much hope for to recover and to live a life where you don't feel this way. I know it's hard to see it now or believe that it's true, but OCD is very responsive to treatment. Have you checked out some of the free tools we have on the app? Maybe some of our educational webinars? I know we have talked a lot there about guilt, shame, etc., and I think some of that might be helpful. It might also be helpful to check out our support groups just to know you're not alone. Wishing you the best of luck and the NOCD team is here for you if you are ever ready to take the step with therapy!
Thank you so much Stacy!
This response was so thoughtful and made me cry. I really appreciate this reflective insight. Thank you. You’re so right. I have one of my best friends because of my OCD, as we might on a Facebook forum about ocd.. and I have also learned a lot along the way too that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Thank you for sharing and taking the time to write that. I think it’ll help a lot of people.
In hindsight:: I’m so glad for the ocd and the tips that it has given me. I’m so much better even than before I had my ocd.
Yes this is often the source of my pain and my continued journey. I find myself reflecting and hurting but then I remember I'm doing it again and that's wasting more time.
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
Where do I begin with this…….. so my OCD has been around since childhood and has had many themes over the years. I only realised I have it just over 2 years ago. I’ve tried many things to help it not be such a monster and thought I had a good grip on it for a length of time until now! Some of my strategies have been acceptance, change of perception of thoughts and sometimes on hard days just telling myself that no matter what, I have to be brave and go out and live life. In the last few months I’ve developed none OCD related anxiety as well and so have been looking at ways to help with that. Sunday morning I was just casually scrolling TikTok and a video only about 30 seconds long or so comes up, seemingly a therapist of some kind, straight away the video began something like “you cannot replace a thought with another thought” along the lines of “you can’t THINK your way out anxiety” I don’t know the full context of the video it wasn’t long enough, I don’t know who the therapist was I didn’t look but now purely because of that one sentence my OCD has gripped onto it so badly and is trying to tear down some of my strategies because I have used changing my thought patterns a lot to help me, self compassion etc but now because of that video I’m struggling! I’m not looking for answers but I am just really upset and it feels like I’m in an impossible grip of OCD again
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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