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I don't really know what to tell you except that I have felt this way too. I have gotten a lot better, then regressed, and gone back and forth. I thought I was cured, so I found a girl I fell head over heels in love for and she cheated on me. Then my mind went haywire. Oh she cheated on you cause she knows you're gay. You secretly wanted this to happen, it's so bizarre. I've been doing my own ERP for the past few months and substantially changed my diet. I am feeling a lot better again. Today I felt so attracted to my coworker and I really want to ask her out, but I feel I'm not healed enough yet. I wish we can start a group chat where we can be accountability partners for ERP and share our progress.

I listened to gay podcasts. Where the host is gay and talks about sexuality in society. I try to spend more time around my gay coworkers. I watch movies with actors that I know trigger me. I tell myself. Okay 10 years is enough. It's time to stop. I am now certain this is the OCD and you are just malfunctioning. You can retrain your mind to be how it once was. Sit with this anxiety and it will pass. Don't check, just let them pass. They will eventually stop. I just self talk myself in this way and it seems to be helping. I'll share more if I am able to make more progress

Ok thank you for that!

If they don't add a group chat function on this app, I think I might start an online chat for those who are strictly dealing with HOCD so we can keep track of one another. We can still remain anonymous if desired. I'll look into how I can do that

What are some ERP things you do to help with hocd @icandothis??

I don't have kick but I'll get it. Is it strictly for hocd?