- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have ‘subtype 2 ROCD’ , where my OCD thinks my partner might be cheating on me. But recently I’m starting to get a little bit of the traditional ROCD where I’m wondering if my partner is right for me. Argh!!!!!! Can anyone help me head this off at the pass!?!?!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh gosh. I get that too sometimes. Especially as our relationship becomes more serious. I guess I cope by reminding myself that I was horrified at the losers out there before him, that all the things I question about him are the same qualities I love about him (ie: stubbornness = strong headed and passionate) but also that every OTHER guy out there who might be seemingly ‘better’ for me has their own skeletons and imperfections. We’re not perfect but work on our shit together... Grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Wow!!! Brilliant. Thank you !
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sure thing! Do you journal musicninja? Although I don’t do it like I should, I sometimes make sure to journal when I’m in a good place, because it’s a nice to reference when I’m in a bad one. Next time you’re on a high with your partner, write down why you love them and love being with them... you can reread it when you’re struggling w doubt later. Also, have you guys taken the 5lovelanguages.com test? My love language is Words of Affirmation (surprise surprise ocd) so I reread old cards when I’m in a bad place too... his words of affirmation help me feel better about us as a couple when I reread it
- Date posted
- 6y ago
With mine, I used to write out the thoughts and then repeat them over and over. Here are you some thoughts you could try: “Maybe my partner isn’t right for me.” “I cannot be certain about this relationship.” “I cannot control my partner’s feelings or actions.” “This relationship may end.” Sorry if those were hard for you to read! Try to pick the easiest ones and start small, it will get easier I promise
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Anxiousashley no, funnily enough. He was just a bit of a jerk ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Tabbykittycat do u still struggle with Rocd? It is hard to read those because I prefer to think of the good times
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Anxiousashley not currently as my boyfriend and I recently broke up. Im trying to prep myself so that I’ll be ready when it inevitably happens in the next relationship
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Tabbykittycat did you end the relationship because of ROCD?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Tabbykittycat well that’s certainly a good reason lol ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I just ended my 2 year relationship with an amazing guy because my intrusive thoughts wouldn’t stop. I started Prozac 9 days ago and the first few days, I felt great and all the original love I had for my partner came flushing back. The next few days I started becoming anxious and today I had to leave work because I could not stop ruminating. When I initially broke up with him I felt a split second of relief, but now I am having the same feelings that I was having before and I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 14w ago
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond