With ocd It seems it’s very hard to keep friends or even have a best friend. I finally thought I found someone who understood me and accepted me for me and yes she is there when there are emergencies, however, she knows that after a traumatic event I talk or text a lot to vent and calm myself down. And while I’m grateful she is my support system, at the same time she makes me feel guilty. I never know what I do wrong or how to fix it. It sucks because she and I have so much in common and I entrust my life with her but at the same time I feel she lets me down and disappears and ignores me and then gets mad when I’m upset. Sometimes I wonder if friends are the greatest things to have or the things that cause more stress/ I love her dearly and don’t want to lose her friendship but every time we are on the same page something changes. Ugh ?

If you would like advice I say seek out multiple supports. Don’t lean on one person because they will break (saying because I’ve done this). She’s like your security blanket and we all have a friend that is, but it can be exhausting for them and that has nothing to do with you personally just ocd can be extremely challenging for loved ones. This is something I’m still trying to work on myself... I think this forum is a good way to start. Someone gave me good advice once that said: give before you take, next time you need her or even before then make sure you are giving her attention before taking her attention. I don’t want this to come off as rude, I definitely do not mean it to be that way. I’m struggling with this myself, so I know it’s not easy. And when ocd hits it’s super challenging to think of anything else than relieving the anxiety, so when it comes it others they may feel secondary. Though it’s not on purpose and I’m sure she loves and cares about you a lot.

??this is so accurate. No one is strong enough to take on all that our OCD dishes out. People can only take so much before they feel tired. Our OCD tends to be selfish. It’s an unfortunate part of the disease. I say this because my own spouse and mother are at their wits end with me and they are the closest people to me. They want to see me healthy and it’s sad and hard on them when I struggle and have not improved. We have to rely on ourselves a little to get through it. And I would go even further to say everyone’s goal should be to rely on our own strength to eventually accept the fact that we are okay without seeking other’s advice/reassurance to feel that way.

Therapist are amazing, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t go. They are extremely helpful and have helped me a lot. But I think the more you use your tools between the office visits the stronger you will feel :). Because guess what? You’re a badass!

Oh she’s great! But I see a pattern forming there. I go once a week. I need to go less. It will force me to do the things she’s been trying to get me to do all along

I completely second both comments! It’s important to have support, but to put it all on one person is unfair (and selfishly, leaves you dependent on only one person too). I am also a firm believer of the ‘give before you take’ - not only does it help my ocd to focus on someone else’s needs, but it puts deposits in the emotional piggy bank of your relationship for when you will need to make a withdrawal.

my goal is to become my own therapist in a sense, so I can tackle it head on after practice and rely on myself and not put weight on others. But I think it is important to know that those that love you... even if you exhaust them... want you to know you can come to them. There’s nothing wrong with help and a hug, but maybe space it out and learn when you need it or should you go on the forum or see your psychiatrist etc. :)

Emotional piggy bank, I dig haha! I really wish ocd didn’t make us selfish... it just makes it harder... but giving back when we aren’t anxious or trying to switch gears even when we are might be the ticket to help reverse that feeling of helplessness and their feeling of exhaustion.

Absolutely! I am noticing that I’ve relied too much on my therapist. I’ve been in therapy for years and I have got to stop running to her every time I have an episode. I have to use my tools to get better or I will spend the rest of my life like this.

I would recommend asking her about teaching you specific techniques. She’s using them on you. So then maybe she can teach you what they are and how to use them on yourself. Also workbooks could be helpful like homework. So don’t ditch the therapist just maybe tell her you want more tools in your tool box. :)

Sounds rational just let her know how you are feeling and I’m sure she will advise the best way to do it ?

I ignored the homework.. don’t ignore the homework.... be a good student ??

Here here!! ??????

Same here Dee. I’m not very structured ?.