- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you would like advice I say seek out multiple supports. Don’t lean on one person because they will break (saying because I’ve done this). She’s like your security blanket and we all have a friend that is, but it can be exhausting for them and that has nothing to do with you personally just ocd can be extremely challenging for loved ones. This is something I’m still trying to work on myself... I think this forum is a good way to start. Someone gave me good advice once that said: give before you take, next time you need her or even before then make sure you are giving her attention before taking her attention. I don’t want this to come off as rude, I definitely do not mean it to be that way. I’m struggling with this myself, so I know it’s not easy. And when ocd hits it’s super challenging to think of anything else than relieving the anxiety, so when it comes it others they may feel secondary. Though it’s not on purpose and I’m sure she loves and cares about you a lot.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
??this is so accurate. No one is strong enough to take on all that our OCD dishes out. People can only take so much before they feel tired. Our OCD tends to be selfish. It’s an unfortunate part of the disease. I say this because my own spouse and mother are at their wits end with me and they are the closest people to me. They want to see me healthy and it’s sad and hard on them when I struggle and have not improved. We have to rely on ourselves a little to get through it. And I would go even further to say everyone’s goal should be to rely on our own strength to eventually accept the fact that we are okay without seeking other’s advice/reassurance to feel that way.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Therapist are amazing, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t go. They are extremely helpful and have helped me a lot. But I think the more you use your tools between the office visits the stronger you will feel :). Because guess what? You’re a badass!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh she’s great! But I see a pattern forming there. I go once a week. I need to go less. It will force me to do the things she’s been trying to get me to do all along
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I completely second both comments! It’s important to have support, but to put it all on one person is unfair (and selfishly, leaves you dependent on only one person too). I am also a firm believer of the ‘give before you take’ - not only does it help my ocd to focus on someone else’s needs, but it puts deposits in the emotional piggy bank of your relationship for when you will need to make a withdrawal.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
my goal is to become my own therapist in a sense, so I can tackle it head on after practice and rely on myself and not put weight on others. But I think it is important to know that those that love you... even if you exhaust them... want you to know you can come to them. There’s nothing wrong with help and a hug, but maybe space it out and learn when you need it or should you go on the forum or see your psychiatrist etc. :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Emotional piggy bank, I dig haha! I really wish ocd didn’t make us selfish... it just makes it harder... but giving back when we aren’t anxious or trying to switch gears even when we are might be the ticket to help reverse that feeling of helplessness and their feeling of exhaustion.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Absolutely! I am noticing that I’ve relied too much on my therapist. I’ve been in therapy for years and I have got to stop running to her every time I have an episode. I have to use my tools to get better or I will spend the rest of my life like this.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I would recommend asking her about teaching you specific techniques. She’s using them on you. So then maybe she can teach you what they are and how to use them on yourself. Also workbooks could be helpful like homework. So don’t ditch the therapist just maybe tell her you want more tools in your tool box. :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sounds rational just let her know how you are feeling and I’m sure she will advise the best way to do it ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I ignored the homework.. don’t ignore the homework.... be a good student ??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Here here!! ??????
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Same here Dee. I’m not very structured ?.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
My therapist isn’t specialized in OCD. I’m her first OCD client. She told me she’s taking courses in ERP and specifically sexual OCD since a lot of my themes are sexual in nature. I want help, I need help. It feels like every time I meet with her I get set back. I make progress a lot on my own. Sitting with discomfort, trying to accept the thoughts and uncertainty. But every single time I meet with her, it feels like I’m explaining OCD to her. She even went as far as to suggest that some of my thoughts that bring me distress are mine. I am not a cheater. They are not mine. Why on earth would they not be intrusive if I was in tears about having this thought? I feel bad. I really do because I can see that even though I can very much see her mistakes, I can also see that she’s trying to help me. I’m just so scared of getting worse. I’ve been in therapy for 5 weeks now. I feel like had it been with a specialist, I would be doing so much better. Instead it takes me days to come backs to whatever progress I’ve made alone after meeting with her. She’s a great person, she tells me she experiences intrusive thoughts too and she doesn’t have OCD which helps me feel less alone but I don’t think that’s enough for me. She’s always available for a call whenever I’m in extreme panic. I just don’t think this is working. I trust her and I tell her everything, but it feels like she’s just listening to me talk the whole time. We’re doing a workbook but she gives me absolutely 0 input. I just read my replies and she just sits there. I don’t understand the point in that. I feel so anxious right now. She wants me to get properly evaluated for anything that may be going on because on top of the severe OCD, I was also diagnosed with PMDD, GAD, and MDD by my primary care doctor but I guess she doesn’t trust those diagnoses? My psychiatrist also told me I have ADHD, which I’ve suspected my whole life but it sounds like my therapist doesn’t know how to handle OCD much less OCD, MDD, GAD, PMDD, and ADHD. She’s questioning the validity of my diagnoses instead of helping me figure out how to deal with all of it. This is so suffocatingly difficult. I’m also a huge people pleaser so how on earth do I end this thing?
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- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
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