- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you would like advice I say seek out multiple supports. Don’t lean on one person because they will break (saying because I’ve done this). She’s like your security blanket and we all have a friend that is, but it can be exhausting for them and that has nothing to do with you personally just ocd can be extremely challenging for loved ones. This is something I’m still trying to work on myself... I think this forum is a good way to start. Someone gave me good advice once that said: give before you take, next time you need her or even before then make sure you are giving her attention before taking her attention. I don’t want this to come off as rude, I definitely do not mean it to be that way. I’m struggling with this myself, so I know it’s not easy. And when ocd hits it’s super challenging to think of anything else than relieving the anxiety, so when it comes it others they may feel secondary. Though it’s not on purpose and I’m sure she loves and cares about you a lot.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
??this is so accurate. No one is strong enough to take on all that our OCD dishes out. People can only take so much before they feel tired. Our OCD tends to be selfish. It’s an unfortunate part of the disease. I say this because my own spouse and mother are at their wits end with me and they are the closest people to me. They want to see me healthy and it’s sad and hard on them when I struggle and have not improved. We have to rely on ourselves a little to get through it. And I would go even further to say everyone’s goal should be to rely on our own strength to eventually accept the fact that we are okay without seeking other’s advice/reassurance to feel that way.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Therapist are amazing, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t go. They are extremely helpful and have helped me a lot. But I think the more you use your tools between the office visits the stronger you will feel :). Because guess what? You’re a badass!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh she’s great! But I see a pattern forming there. I go once a week. I need to go less. It will force me to do the things she’s been trying to get me to do all along
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I completely second both comments! It’s important to have support, but to put it all on one person is unfair (and selfishly, leaves you dependent on only one person too). I am also a firm believer of the ‘give before you take’ - not only does it help my ocd to focus on someone else’s needs, but it puts deposits in the emotional piggy bank of your relationship for when you will need to make a withdrawal.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
my goal is to become my own therapist in a sense, so I can tackle it head on after practice and rely on myself and not put weight on others. But I think it is important to know that those that love you... even if you exhaust them... want you to know you can come to them. There’s nothing wrong with help and a hug, but maybe space it out and learn when you need it or should you go on the forum or see your psychiatrist etc. :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Emotional piggy bank, I dig haha! I really wish ocd didn’t make us selfish... it just makes it harder... but giving back when we aren’t anxious or trying to switch gears even when we are might be the ticket to help reverse that feeling of helplessness and their feeling of exhaustion.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Absolutely! I am noticing that I’ve relied too much on my therapist. I’ve been in therapy for years and I have got to stop running to her every time I have an episode. I have to use my tools to get better or I will spend the rest of my life like this.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I would recommend asking her about teaching you specific techniques. She’s using them on you. So then maybe she can teach you what they are and how to use them on yourself. Also workbooks could be helpful like homework. So don’t ditch the therapist just maybe tell her you want more tools in your tool box. :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sounds rational just let her know how you are feeling and I’m sure she will advise the best way to do it ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I ignored the homework.. don’t ignore the homework.... be a good student ??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Here here!! ??????
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Same here Dee. I’m not very structured ?.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- Date posted
- 14w ago
So i play in a band, and we were having practice, and my girlfriend was there listening to us, then this girl around our age walks in, and my head tells me to cheat on my girlfriend with her. I know i would never do such a thing. And it bothered me for days. And i ended up telling my girlfriend, and tried to explain my ocd. It hurt her and she believes that the instrusive thoughts, are my thoughts so in that, i must feel something behind them. And she feels hurt because i explained to her the obsessive part of ocd and how this thought wouldnt leave my head. And she got upset knowing that i was constantly thinking about cheating on her. I cant help but feel its all my fault. And now that she doesnt understand i feel really guilty for my thoughts and they are coming more often and worse. When i was fine for months, but my ocd always acts up right as i get in relationships, then i usually tell my spouse and tell them i cant feel guilt for my thoughts or they will get worse. And they usually just accepted it and it was easy. But with her it seems she just cant seem to understand, ive tried to explain it to her countless times, she isnt willing to do research with me to help better understand it or anything. Maybe for my first ocd issue telling her that wasnt the best idea.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
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