- Username
- Kelce87
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you would like advice I say seek out multiple supports. Don’t lean on one person because they will break (saying because I’ve done this). She’s like your security blanket and we all have a friend that is, but it can be exhausting for them and that has nothing to do with you personally just ocd can be extremely challenging for loved ones. This is something I’m still trying to work on myself... I think this forum is a good way to start. Someone gave me good advice once that said: give before you take, next time you need her or even before then make sure you are giving her attention before taking her attention. I don’t want this to come off as rude, I definitely do not mean it to be that way. I’m struggling with this myself, so I know it’s not easy. And when ocd hits it’s super challenging to think of anything else than relieving the anxiety, so when it comes it others they may feel secondary. Though it’s not on purpose and I’m sure she loves and cares about you a lot.
??this is so accurate. No one is strong enough to take on all that our OCD dishes out. People can only take so much before they feel tired. Our OCD tends to be selfish. It’s an unfortunate part of the disease. I say this because my own spouse and mother are at their wits end with me and they are the closest people to me. They want to see me healthy and it’s sad and hard on them when I struggle and have not improved. We have to rely on ourselves a little to get through it. And I would go even further to say everyone’s goal should be to rely on our own strength to eventually accept the fact that we are okay without seeking other’s advice/reassurance to feel that way.
Therapist are amazing, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t go. They are extremely helpful and have helped me a lot. But I think the more you use your tools between the office visits the stronger you will feel :). Because guess what? You’re a badass!
Oh she’s great! But I see a pattern forming there. I go once a week. I need to go less. It will force me to do the things she’s been trying to get me to do all along
I completely second both comments! It’s important to have support, but to put it all on one person is unfair (and selfishly, leaves you dependent on only one person too). I am also a firm believer of the ‘give before you take’ - not only does it help my ocd to focus on someone else’s needs, but it puts deposits in the emotional piggy bank of your relationship for when you will need to make a withdrawal.
my goal is to become my own therapist in a sense, so I can tackle it head on after practice and rely on myself and not put weight on others. But I think it is important to know that those that love you... even if you exhaust them... want you to know you can come to them. There’s nothing wrong with help and a hug, but maybe space it out and learn when you need it or should you go on the forum or see your psychiatrist etc. :)
Emotional piggy bank, I dig haha! I really wish ocd didn’t make us selfish... it just makes it harder... but giving back when we aren’t anxious or trying to switch gears even when we are might be the ticket to help reverse that feeling of helplessness and their feeling of exhaustion.
Absolutely! I am noticing that I’ve relied too much on my therapist. I’ve been in therapy for years and I have got to stop running to her every time I have an episode. I have to use my tools to get better or I will spend the rest of my life like this.
I would recommend asking her about teaching you specific techniques. She’s using them on you. So then maybe she can teach you what they are and how to use them on yourself. Also workbooks could be helpful like homework. So don’t ditch the therapist just maybe tell her you want more tools in your tool box. :)
Sounds rational just let her know how you are feeling and I’m sure she will advise the best way to do it ?
I ignored the homework.. don’t ignore the homework.... be a good student ??
Here here!! ??????
Same here Dee. I’m not very structured ?.
Hey guys, just wanted a bit of advice as I’m sure my friends are sick of me constantly asking them for reassurance and to be there for me. I use to be very close friends with this girl who had kids with a complete an utter nasty piece of work, anyway when they were together I was friendly with him as he was with my close friend and that’s only right, even though most people despised of him, I never see the bad in people. Then when they broke up he came to my home a few times to chat and for advice, which I gave him, he then tried it on with me sexually and I obviously declined in which he didn’t like, I then had the decency to tell me friend the mother of his children and it back fired on me for trying to be the good friend by telling her the truth, she then took his side in which I lost all respect for her as I was trying to do right by her for telling her what had happened as o hate things like that on my mind. After this he came to my house and threatened, send me a whole load of abusive threatening voice notes too like the vile human he is because of course he got found out. I drifted away from her because of the situation and clearly trying to do the right thing was the wrong thing, we have briefly spoke since this happened a few times within the last three or so months. This caused me to have severe ocd and have the worst paranoia, I don’t want her in my life, I don’t even have her number saved but today she turned up at my door unexpectedly just to ‘pop in’ although I don’t want anything to do with her, the whole situation makes me feel ill, makes my ocd bad and bad paranoia. What can I do?
Does anyone else with ocd lie a lot? I found myself lying when I first started ocd treatment to try to make everything seem like I had a picture perfect life when I don’t. And it just went from one lie to another. Now I feel extremely guilty. I am much better now but I still feel that guilt. I don’t wanna lose my best friend. I know shes figured a lot of shit out. She’s a genius (literally). But she’s never treated me any differently. She holds me accountable which is one of the many many things I love about her.
Can you have OCD but with a friendship? Like ROCD but without the romantical side, i guess? I have this one friend that I'm beginning to obsessively worry that I don't actually want to be friends with her, but I don't understand why. She's honestly a really great person, but sometimes can trigger some of my old OCD themes (not that she knows or does this intentionally of course). We met 2 or 3 months ago before a morning uni class and see each other a couple of times a week usually, and we've met each other outside of it twice and I felt like I honestly enjoyed myself. But I can't help but shake the feeling that I just don't want to be friends. What does this mean and how do I stop obsessing over it?
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