I'm worried that one day i'm just going to snap and end up liking my thoughts. Especially since my thoughts feel more real by the second and I don't feel like I'm anxious enough. I'm scared of going into next year because I feel that is when it will happen
I understand where you’re at. Maybe one day you’ll snap or I’ll snap. I have POCD too and it’s awful. But the one thing we have to learn to accept is the uncertainty. Tell ocd that maybe one day you will like them or maybe you won’t. OCD likes to play the trick or not being anxious enough too. It’s all part of keeping you stuck in the cycle. Thoughts are thoughts. You are not your thoughts. Feelings are feelings. You are not your feelings. We do not know the future in terms of what may happen with this disorder and if we will ever become this or not. All you can do is live your life true to your values and morals the best that you can.
I just don't understand how it's possible to accept uncertainty with something like this
@MushroomStew It’s hard. I won’t say that it’s not. I still struggle with it and I’ve been in therapy for months. But some things don’t seem as scary as they used to and that’s how I know I’m making progress. It’s about the progress you’re making, not if it’s perfect. Start with the thing that makes you the least anxious first and work your way up. Recovery isn’t linear. You’re not alone.
@MK30 I'm scared that if I expose myself with things that trigger me, I'll find out that I liked the thoughts all along, or that it won't work because it's not OCD. I've tried before and I just end up feeling worse. I can't help but worry over everything
when you accept uncertainty do you get to remind yourself about your values and morals? because i feel like i dont know them anymore
@MushroomStew One of the main things to remember with OCD is that if you don’t like the thoughts, it’s ocd. It wants to keep you stuck and in the cycle. OCD is a bully. Be gentle with yourself. You’ll end up feeling worse before it feels better. You have to start small and work your way up. The little victories are what help you along the way to tackle the big ones. I used to be terrified to spend time with my son. Now we’re playing Mario together every night and we play card games too. Are the thoughts still there? Yup. But I’m trying my best to live in the moment and enjoy it. If the thoughts want to be there, great! It’s taken a long time to get to this point. I still get trapped in the cycle. I know how difficult this is. Maybe write down what your biggest fears are and number them 1-10. Start with the one that gives you the least amount of anxiety first and work your way up. There’s no contest here as to who recovers faster. You go at your own pace and take it one step at a time. You’re not alone ❤️
@kaio16 I do, yes. Yesterday I had to tighten my sons pants since they were falling off of his hips. The intrusive thoughts came and I just let them be there. I said something along the lines of “Maybe I’ll want to do something right now in this moment, or maybe I just want to help him so his pants don’t fall down around his ankles. I guess we will find out. I know that I want to help him in this moment. I know what my morals and values are.” I ended up fixing his pants and he went about his day. It’s not easy. My son is at an age where he’s independent but still needs me for certain things. When the opportunities arise to help my son, I do so and let the thoughts be there as best as I can.
Do you have therapy and medication on board? Those helped me
My parents don't believe in therapy, so they won't pay for it
@MushroomStew I'm sorry. For what it's worth I got a referral to therapy through my health care provider (doctor -> psychiatrist -> nocd) and insurance is covering it
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
so since mid december i’ve been feeling like this , well first in mid december I’ve started feeling anxiety like normal, normal as in physical things like feeling like im going to pass out, shaking, chest pain, etc. but then it got worse , then it turned into more of mind stuff like feeling not real , feeling weird like idk. my mind is always runningg like on over drive, like looking back at myself that doesn’t seem like me. like idk. i can’t stand to look at myself anymore bc it doesn’t feel like me. i can’t be alone , when i think about to it makes it sm worse. but how do i stop thinking ab it? or make it better. i’m scared it’s gonna get worse. like i can’t even do my makeup anymore bc i think something bad will happen. i can’t go certain places , like stay the night bc i think something bad is gonna happen.
so i start therapy tomorrow. but bro it’s just getting worse and im so scared. like the thoughts are getting more frequent and i genuinely feel evil and i hate it. i keep thinking what if i do it and im scared im eventually gonna. i’m scared i give off a creepy vibe or im lying to myself or others. please tell me is this ocd? do i need to be actually worried? i’m really freaking out
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