I’m baffled at this disorder. Honestly just baffled that one single thought won’t go away no matter how many times I sit through the discomfort and exposures and don’t do the reassuring. I feel a lot better than I did a month ago but the thoughts are still there. Even when I don’t have the thought I think about how I don’t have the thought and start to have the thought. It’s exhausting. I miss my life before.

I've been in treatment for about 3.5 months and I have definitely improved. However, I feel like I'm always relapsing... I do exposures for specific thoughts and it definitely helps. Usually my anxiety will go way down and that specific thought will improve. Then I may have a period of a week or so where my intrusive thoughts aren't so bothersome. But they ALWAYS come back. My ocd will latch on to anything at all and Im constantly having new intrusive thoughts. I seem to be stuck in a cycle of improvement and relapse. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Will the intrusive thoughts ever subside??

Why is it taking so long to get over this . 5 months now and I still am not ok . I have a great days with clarity and then I have scary thoughts again with doubt and just can’t handle it. I’m resisting compulsions as best as possible but I must not be noticing sometimes when i am doing it and it’s keeping the cycle going. I feel like I’ll never get better . I’m so sick of feeling anxious and like something bad is going to happen.

I am so tired of struggling with this disorder. It’s officially chronic and so debilitating. I obsess over something new every single day. Yesterday it was the thought that I should never have children because of my HOCD, today it was how I’m never going to get married, the day before yesterday was all about never graduating and thinking I’m going to fail, before that it was obsessing over thinking someone abused me as a child or that my parents were narcissists, before that it was the death of my brother, before that it was my appearance and weight. It’s absolutely never ending and I have no consistency in my life. I feel so angry at my self today because yesterday was actually a good day for me and today it’s the absolute worst. I was completely unproductive and depressed. I’m so tired of this. I know I won’t even feel the same tomorrow. What will ever fix this? How do people actually heal from this disorder? No one in my life even understands what OCD is and my family truly doesn’t understand at all they think it’s weird I’m just labeling having thoughts and they don’t get how much it impacts my life. I’m incredibly tired and all I want is to be normal and live normally. I’ve been researching all day for almost 7 hours. It’s like I didn’t do it yesterday so it came back 10x worse today.