The only way I seem to get over my obsessions is to find reassurance from someone ? How do I stop this AND stop the anxiety that comes with the obsessions?

Can I get some tips on how to not seek reassurance I have HOCD and had it for three years now unfortunatly. I’ll have times where it’s not as bad then I’ll get a spike again and I rlly need to put an end to this but I can’t seem to stop seeking reassurance I’ll go thru phases where I’ll stop seeking for a while but then I’ll always come back. Tips would be appreciated

I’ve had physical compulsions on and off throughout my life. And rumination while not physical comes right along with it. Recently my brain has latched on to reassurance seeking. And it makes work horrible. I constantly feel the need to seek reassurance or validation from my boss or my coworkers or friends. I feel constantly judged and hyper analyze everything someone says to me or every interaction I have. I go home after work and run over all the times I spoke to or interacted with someone that day and I’m critical of how I presented myself, how I was perceived, what I said or didn’t say. I then go back the next day not only wanting to seek reassurance but also thinking I need to over explain myself to prevent any kind of damaging misunderstanding or miscommunication that would make them think poorly of me. Is this a common thing? It’s been the worst thing to go through as of late, my checking and things has gone down but this mental stuff is a whole new beast. How do you guys handle this kind of thing at work or at school?

Yesterday I was really worried about something that happened about 10 years ago and it was causing me anxiety to the point I was struggling at work. So I texted my mom and asked if I could come talk to her after work but it got to the point it was consuming me to where I just texted her about it because I couldn’t move on with my day. She is usually very good about helping me understand the situation so that I can calm down. However, yesterday once I told her about my worry all she said was ‘Oh well? I’m not judging you’ to which I completely lost it and felt like she was confirming that what I did was bad. She said she doesn’t want to feed the obsession. I know that she is trying not to reassure me but I feel like it’s sent me into a deeper spiral. I have had some bad experiences in the past where I’ve trusted some people with my OCD themes and they back stabbed me and even spread rumors about me. I’ve been able to trust my mom up until this point, but now I can’t even get myself to text her. I don’t want to see her and I have this extreme feeling of anger towards her. I feel like this is finally the thing she’s gonna hate me for. I once heard that on earth we see sin on a spectrum or a scale that some sin is worse then others. However, to God who is looking down, where we see a stack, He can only see the top of the stack so it just looks like red dots to him so all sin is the same to Him. I really struggle with the idea of God, but I feel like I see it the same way, bad is bad regardless of how bad. At least that’s how I see it within myself, not others. So when I do something I perceive as bad it is just bad and makes me bad and to me that is logical. For example, when someone commits murder they are labeled as a bad, awful person, regardless of if they have done 1000 amazing things in their life. Even if they aren’t convicted for 30 years and they completely turn their life around and do amazing things, it does not matter. They still did something bad and people will hunt them down so they can be punished. So why is any other bad thing any different? People say it’s real event OCD and that these things I worry that I’ve done are not a big deal. But, if I’m worried about something that really happened then how can it be irrational? I have never murdered anyone but I feel like I have given that’s they way I feel about any potentially bad thing I’ve done. So when I can’t get reassurance sometimes I feel like it confirms that feeling of bad and makes me spiral more because then I think not only do I see myself this way, but now so does this other person. I know that this is a long post, but can anyone relate? Is reassurance sometimes okay?