Doubt

So I’ve been having the same intrusive thoughts since Christmas there’s been some time when it pops up and I say that I’m not that person and I would never do that and I carry on my day which I call a good time but then there’s some bad times when it just sticks in my head and I feel bad inside and guilty and hate myself for thinking of this and idk if it’s me or ocd and whenever say I’m watching a movie or something has my attention then whatever I was doing ends then my mind immediately goes to that thought as if I’m trying to think about it which I don’t want to or that that’s the only thing i can think about. And I worry that this thought will be in my head until I die

Harm OCD

Username: Edwin PEdwin P

Date posted: 1y ago

Same I have these intrusive thoughts of killing people. I always worry about the future because my thoughts convince me that I’m gonna do it that I’m going to be in jail you’re in a couple months it’s just constant worry I go to Hospital to ask for help, but it doesn’t really help. SSRIs are not helping me, but don’t worry we’re not alone even though we feel like it we need to make friends that have the same things that we have because sometimes I feel like we’re going a little crazy because these thoughts tell us to do things that we don’t want. I’ve been living with this since I was 11 back in 2012 it all started because I had a thought an urge to kill my mom. I never hurt anybody but sometimes my thoughts tells me that I must be narcissistic I’m a psychopath then I did a test as a that I have a little bit of it is narcissistic, so I’m freaking out now. My OCD tells me oh my god you’re gonna kill somebody I know how it feels feels like we’re we are a ticking bomb going to explode. But I go to my psychiatrist in my psychiatrist tells me know I’m not a narcissistic or a sociopath or psychopath I hope this makes you feel better that you’re not alone I’m very open with my thoughts. I tell people what I feel. God bless you.

Username: Nick17Nick17

Date posted: 1y ago

@Edwin P It kinda scares me because when it first started I would get so worried when I had the thought and I would make my self sick and throw up and I would cry for hours because I didn’t want the thoughts anymore but I don’t do that now and idk if that’s good or bad because I’ve gotten use to it

Username: makeupandchinchillasmakeupandchi...

Date posted: 1y ago

Same :(

Username: Edwin PEdwin P

Date posted: 1y ago

Sorry about my spelling I have dyslexia. I hope you understand what I’m saying.

Username: Nick17Nick17

Date posted: 1y ago

@Edwin P No worries

Username: Joey GerbinoJoey Gerbino

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this! Without providing you reassurance; OCD is a ‘Sticky,’ “Doubtful,” disorder. It’s ego-dystonic in nature. Which means, it goes against your morals, values, etc. That said, because of the fact that our brains are wired differently; it’s unfortunately common that that’s become ‘Stuck,’ in our minds and play on repeat. It’s how OCD keeps our attention because without our attention; it cannot/will not survive! OCD can/will make you question, etc. yourself based upon your thoughts, but just know; thoughts, do not equal actions and just because you may be thinking it; doesn’t make it true or that it’ll eventually become true. It’s our jobs to ‘Starve,’ this disorder as best we can. What I mean by that is not giving into what it wants/needs from us because by not doing so; OCD in turn becomes weaker in nature. Have you contacted NOCD yet for an evaluation? That way, you can get connected with a therapist and get started on your ERP therapy! Hope this helps :) Sending love, compassion and support while you suffer from the monster and battle the beast that is OCD 💌

Username: Nick17Nick17

Date posted: 1y ago

@Joey Gerbino No I haven’t yet. This helps thank you

Username: Joey GerbinoJoey Gerbino

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Nick17 💌

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

I hate how my mind is making me doubt of my intentions when i clearly know that I don’t have any desires to act on my thoughts. It makes my intentions feel so uncertain, and sometimes it would even make me feel like if I wanted to act on my thoughts when I actually don’t, because I wouldn’t be doubting if I did. So since I feel my intentions so uncertain I need to come to an answer, and sometimes it is so damn hard to get that answer, which makes me anxious and disturbed. It would also make me think of my past like, how were you okay without having these thoughts? Or makes me think of my future like, will you be okay without these thoughts? So it would make me think that these thoughts are really desires and I won’t be okay unless I act on them. As horrible as it sounds. And I don’t know if someone gets this too but, it would also make me doubt my feelings. When my family tells me cute things like “I love you” and stuff, I would feel so bad, because my thoughts are towards them. So I would say “ily too” but I feel like an hypocrite saying it, or like I don’t mean it at all, so it makes me doubt if I really love them or not. This is all so overwhelming, and I have gone through so many disturbing and crazy thoughts, feelings and situations, that I don’t know if this might be OCD.

Harm OCD

Username: BetterDays

Date posted: 3y ago

Does anyone especially with harm ocd feel like they are their thoughts and want to do these things? Like no matter how hard I try and even during my therapy session I get the constant, “what if this isn’t OCD?”, “you like these thoughts”, “your a bad person”, “your going to act on these thoughts.” It gotten to the point where it feels like I’m actually this person and that I have changed into an evil person and it’s so scary cause it’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m never going to get my life back and that’s saddening. I’ve never had a violent history never hurt anyone or anything but I don’t know why it feels like I am.

Username: Going to fig...

Date posted: 1y ago

SOOCD

Not officially diagnosed with OCD, but will I ever get over this or is it just a part of my life now. Have been constantly having thoughts every single day for almost a year it feels like. There has barely been times where I’m not thinking “I’m gay” or having it in the back of my mind. This just brings extreme guilt as I’m in a relationship. Not sure what to do. Everything from my past is proof. This morning I was just bombarded with “ I’m gay” “im gay”

Sexual Orientation OCD

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