Family

Thank u so much❤️sometimes I feel so alone

Hello. Yeah. OCD is very possessive. It isolates its "victims" and wants them all for itself. Feeling lonely and desperate is what makes it happy. But... together, supporting eachother, we're going to win. The only good thing I got from my therapist is when she said that it was good that I decided to ask for help, because I deserved a much better life than OCD forces on me. You deserve it too. If I can help, even just to listen, I'll be glad to help. It will help me too, 'cause I' ll know I am not alone and I actually can make a difference in this group fight against OCD, no matter which type. How did the visit with your parents go? Do they know about your OCD? Do they understand? I sure hope you have more emotionally capable to understand people round you than I did. If you don't mind, I am sending you a big hug. I think a hug can be a major helping tool against OCD. Some experts wouldn't agree, but then again, most of them never had OCD and no two OCDs are the same. With my type of OCD I do believe, if I had someone to hug me when the obsessions start pressing, I would be able to resist compulsions. To feel loved and supported would make a big difference. Tell me more what helps you, if you dont mind. Have a great day.🌞👍

Yeah I will continue to use NOCD once my partial hospitalization is done at rogers. I just was at a point that I needed that extra help, especially with ERP. I do have difficulty sleeping and eating but hopefully with treatment that will get better. I’m also hoping this treatment helps me deal with uncertainty and get back to living again. I’m excited about Rogers they do specialize in OCD and understand all themes

Your husband knows it can’t be easy - he knows you were taking 3-4 hour showers. My husband also was aware because my ocd was obvious in many ways. At my worst point I would spend 2-1/2 hours for my morning restroom trip and if we had to go anywhere for a holiday I’d get up and eat and drink a lot early so I would be able to use the restroom early enough to leave on tone and then I would restrict food and water so I won’t have to use a restroom outside the house until we returned which could be up to 8 hours later. I also was down to only 11 foods/ drinks because I didn’t want worse or longer restroom trips. My 36 lb weight loss was over a number of years but I was so malnourished I ended up in the hospital. My fear of dying was what motivated me to get the help I needed. My love for my husband and son sadly was not enough. It’s not selfish or silly to want the person you love to understand what is happening to you. My food issues (ARFID) and most of my subtypes and most of my contamination issues are under control and I am a healthy weight. Rogers residential included ERP for foods as well as contamination and other subtypes. It also included CBT/DBT, support groups, art, therapy, etc. I was able to voice asl of my fears regardless of have how embarrassing or shameful they felt. I feel like Rogers saved my life. I was down to 1/2 to a worst 1-1/2 hours in the restroom before COVID but my times doubled with the toilet paper shortage concerns and got worse with the many stresses of COVID, the lockdown, and difficult family challenges and medication changes that made me much worse since then. My morning restroom time is too long but my OCD is well managed otherwise and I am working on my restroom routine as a hierarchy and having success - the hierarchy came from my late 2022 IOP experience with Rogers. Thank you hearing my story.

Thank u for the links!

Anonymous and NODA - sending you both good thoughts and hugs. 🫶

🙏❤️

Hi. I am praying for you. I totally understand your fear and anxiety. I developed ocd when I was 12. Nobody understood me. They kept blaming me, didnt see me through my ocd. They started hating me and became spitefull. It became so bad, I had to run away. I was already 19, but still. It's been over 25 years without family at all. Now I have my own family, a hubby and 3 rescued cats. My hubby loves me, but it is very hard for him to understand ocd. I havent found the way how to explain it to him so he would get it. I hope your family get together goes well. You enjoy it, and let us worry instead of you. Praying for you. I hope you are able to feel our support. All the best and a lot of fun with your loved ones.

Thank you so much! Yes I love hugs 🤗. It went well with my family this weekend. I chose to tell my sister, daughter and a good friend for now. I started Rogers in Nashville today. It’s kinda scary even tho I have been doing ERP thru NOCD. I just felt I needed more extensive care. I can not tell you enough how grateful I am for your response and prayers. If you ever want to share I’m here too❤️

Hello. Thank You so much, too. 😀I am very glad it went well with your family. How did your sister, daughter and the friend react when you told them? Do they truly understand or are they just supportive, but strugle to grasp it? I wonder how I should explain OCD to my husband of 18 years. He knows I have ocd, that I am seeking help and that's why I am on Asentra (Zoloft). He supports me, has been through hell and back with me, and still loves me (Wow! I've won the lottery with him.😉😊), but still does not know what exactly ocd is for heaven's sake. How to explain it to him? I sort of need ocd for dummies type of guide to explain it to him. Any suggestions? I would be grateful for any thoughts about it. I admire you for trying ERP. I just can't do that. Would love to be capable to, but can't. Would you please tell me what Rogers in Nashville is. I know Nashville, but I do not know what Rogers represents. I come from Slovenia. A small European country. Our neighbouring countries are Austria, Italy, Croatia and Hungary. Small but beautiful. We've got the sea, mountains, lakes,... The only Thing we don't have is psychiatrists, psychologists or other therapists who know how to deal with ocd. They all think they do. But have no idea at all. For emotional contamination Ocd noone's even heard before. Well... No help for me here. I love Nashville. I love old Rock and some younger singers as well. But lately I turn to Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, Blake Shelton,... for my soul's happiness. Big hug. We will somehow find a way to chase OCD away. I feel so much better, less alone since I decided to join NOCD 2 days ago. In all the years I've never had anyone I could really talk to about the little devil called OCD. Thank you for offering your should er and ear. Anytime you feel it's all just too much, I am here for you. Even on good days we can high 5 every time when we are stronger than it. 😄🎉🎈. I just need to figure out which smiley represents high 5.😁. All the best. Biiig hug. 🤗. 💞

Hello, Anonymous. I've spet the last hour reading about Rogers in Nashville. Could you and Erin P please tell me what type OCD are you dealing with. What does it look like, Feel like, what does it make you do in order to feel safe and sane again? Which type of programme did you chose? Impatient, residential,...? Do all programmes involve ERP? How do you practice ERP if your trigger lives 400 km away? And if there is no way you would on purpose get in touch with them, because you had to threaten them with calling the police if they couldn't grasp your order to live you alone? What in such case? Are you still using NOCD treatment? How are you doing today? I Feel like a Zombie. I Was up all night again, fighting with insomnia. For the last month and a half. I sleep approximately 2-3 8hours every morning and am up all night. My cats are all confused. They look at me in a worrying kind of manner. Well... I got sleeping pills at home. I've had them for over a week now, but I am scared to take them. I have enough trouble with ocd, I have no energy left to fight Addition as well. Have you ever has problems sleeping? I have no ideal what time it is now where you live. Here it is 5.25 p.m. Best wishes.

My husband is still trying to understand OCD also and he’s very logical and OCD isn’t so it’s hard! I get the struggle explaining it to loved ones

You said it. My husband as well. Logic and ocd are two opposite poles. How is it possible I /we logically understand that ocd is not logical and it is a liar, and we in contradiction with all that is logical still give in? I condider myself quite intelligent, how in the name of all that is good, I can't make myself reist ocd-s demands? I am pretty down today. It's 00:38 a.m.. I am not sleeping. My husband is still away because of his work. I had an episode today, t.i. already yesterday in a shopping centre. I was shopping for food. Out of the blue, I fehl really sick, had strong pain in my chest on the left side and in the upper left arm. I thought I was ging to faint. First I thought of asking for help, but didn't. I Was holding on to the shopping cart and just stood there for about 10 minutes until it got better. It scared me. When I Hot home, my blood preassure was 105/189. After hours of rest I went down to 85/177. I know it might be due to not sleeping and exhaustion. And since you as Well have problems sleeping and eating, I guess all the paths lead back to ocd. I've not mentioned it to my husband. I don't want him to worry even more. I too need real structured help. I do think you are on the right path joining the Rogers. I congratulate you for doing that for yourself. NOCD is great, but I also need more. The best thing from NOCD is that I got in touch with you. And all other great people with terrible enemy I Feel much less alone and less not normal than before. Thank you. And also big thank you to Erin P for advice and leads where to find tools,... She actually opened my eyes. There is a way to practice ERP even in my case. I had never thought of that way. I just need guidance and support. It's way too easy to give up ERP if you'Re trying to do it alone. I need to find a simple, short, sir of abbreviated Version of ocd explanation, but still clear enough with enough facts that it would make sense to the logical person. If I find a way for my hubby to understand who's been between since the first hello, it will be a life changing moment. I am not looking for excuses or false support. I want him to understand so his life with me would be easier. The Support he gives me is OK. He makes me stronger. I want US to be truly free and happy. Nothing stand between us, but the grrrr=Yeah, the Ocd. If you figure out how to help them, please let me know. I've been on a mission since ladt week trying to find the best way by reading all there is about ocd. I know 99%of it already. Ofcurse. You do too I'm sure. I am not looking for New Info, just for the Info presented in the best way. I've explained it to my 3 cats. They really listened. Paid attention. And when I was done explaining and apologizing, all 3 came to me and cuddled and purred. It went great. 😸. 🤣. If I only had such success with my husband. Why do animals understand all, never judge you and give unlimited love and support and people who are way smarter mostly, have difficulty with it? I will pray for you that you do find all the necessary tools and support to help you deal with uncertainty and claim your life back at Rogers. I wish that for you as much as I wish it for myself. Hugs Hugs Hugs 🌞🤗🐱😘

Dear Erin. Thank you. You just nailed it. That is exactly the same with my husband. I haven't pushed before. But about a year ago, I was at my lowest point ever. I hadn't left the flat for a year. I was scared of everything. I didn't even feel free and safe at home. Lost 22 kgs in 6 month. My husband felt desperate. He was worried, nervous. It only made it worse for me. I reached for help 2x. 2 psychiatrists. Both of them I knew from before. Didn't get help. The first one didn't get it at all, the second one we wisited in person, 200kms away. He was so full of himself, so rude, disrespectful. We felt humiliated. He is a dr of med psychiatrist and leads one of the mental health Institution in our country. An ice berg would be less cold than him. At that moment I decided to fight. For me and my husband. And I have ever since. We've made some big changes in our lives. We've decided to move to another part of the country. My hubby still works in the previous region, so we see each other every 2 weeks. In 2 months he will finally move here. Here I started living again. I go out whenever I feel like it. I am fighting to find help. Well... at least I got Zoloft. It helps with anxiety. The side effects are uhhh, but it's still better than before. My hubby is glad I am looking for help and sees I feel much better here. I mention ocd when I go to the doctor and he asks how it was. But otherwise, we both know ocd is our 6th family member (me, him, 3 cats and ocd) , the unwanted one, but we just don't talk often about it. Now with all the changes and me being stronger, I have this constant wish to present it to him. I would like him to truly understand that ocd is a real disease, disorder. That nobody is really sure why how it happens, but it's not sth I can just forgret about and ignore it. Although that is the ultimate goal to reach. I dont want him to think I am making it all up or that I am being stupid or nuts. If it was that easy, who wouldn't get rid of it. In that case, if I Held on to it, then I would be nuts. I would feel so relieved if just for once I gathered the courage and tell him what thoughts I think in an ocd episode, how that makes me feel and why, and what do the compulsions represent. Well a year ago he would seev me taking showers for 3 or 4 hours. He KNOWS about me having issues. I just want to Tell him what exactly the issues are. I don't need reassurance. It doesn't do much for me. I want to Tell him, to Schock him, so there would be no secrets any more. Uhh. Am I selfish? Am I being silly? How are you doing now? How exactly did your path to recovery at Rogers Look like?Were you able to say outloud even the Things you might have felt ashamed about? To me it's Kind of a new start. New begining. And him understanding it, would help me not Feel like I am hiding something. Thank you against for "listening''to me. Means the World. 💞😊

Dearest Erin P. I have had a terrible day. I told the nurse at my G. P., Personal doctor, that I feel unwelcome and not at ease when I need to talk to the doctor. I've been there around 10 times, saw the doctor 2x for 5 min. She never touched me, never even shook my hand, I don't remember her looking at me, in my eyes at all. It's dark in her office. She says, " Come in. Why are you here?" In a cold, uninterested voice. No hello. Nothing. After you tell her about 1 or 2 problems, you give up and don't mention anything rlse, because she can hardly wait for you to get up and leave. She must be very close to retirement. I wouldn't recognize her if she stood in front of me. I told her about my high blood preassure and holesterol, but didn't have the courage to ask her to check iron ( I was also sent to a hospital 2x to get iron directly in my blood, in August 2022). She sent me, but had no idea that she did. Actually she didn't. The nurse did. She performs all the duties the doctor normally does. Well... Instead of having a nice conversation with the nurse, the doctor sent me a mail today. She was disrespectful, insulting, humiliating. She wrote, since I don't trust her, I should not come to the set dates for blood testing next Monday, and that my high blood pteassure and other problems are no longer of any interest to her. She told me I am not welcome there anylonger. To top it, she suggested I find myself a psychiatrist, who will listen to alll my problems for hours and not brother her anylonger, since she only has time for 7 Minute per patient. She has no idea about my ocd. She insulted me, the psychiatrists, all the patients who seek help with a psychiatrist. I am amazed how calm I managed to stay after the initial shock. I answered her in an intelligent and respectful way, although she does not deserve it. I am sure she will again See it as a personal attack on her. I didn't say it, but the woman herself could really benefit from going to a psychiatrist or clinical psychologisch and work on her narcissistic disorder. She is a doctor. That kind of reaction is immature, childlish,... Just before I answered her, I had read your two posts. I think they helped me not to get too upset with her. You will never know how thankful I am for all you share with me. This is the first time ever that someone directly described what is and was going on during their ocd episodes. Your honest and open descriptions of your experiences, your advice, your support are of more valute to me that I am able to tell you. I will respond to both of your wonderful posts later today or early tomorrow. It's already 2:50h am here. I need to fall sleep like in the next miinute, because I have to get up in 3 hours. In the morning I am seeing my clinical psychologist. For the 4th time. She's not very profesional, has no knowledge about how to deal with ocd, but at least we chat about how were my previous few weeks. Today we will do some tests and I am afraid I wont be able to focus If I dont get at least a few hours of sleep. I just wanted you to know that I have read all you have written and that it truly touched my heart. I feel like having a true friend, a friend I can reveal my deepest ocd "sectets" and finally be perceived as normal, heard, understood. And most important of all, not ashamed. I love you for that. It feels amazing to read about your hardship as it was, in detail. Wow. I've prayed to meet someone so open and courageous to tell it as it is. That tells me that me too can finally let someone, you, see inside of my ocd. Not even a psychiatrist or anyone else ever has. Thank you!!!!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗💖💖💖 I will be thinking of you, wishing you a great day. My husband is coming tonight just to sleep over, than he has to go back to work, but will again come for the weekend the next day. So happy. Big hug. Thank you a million times again. Till later, my support and Best wishes to you, your dear husband, your son, your closest and dearest. May ocd leave you all in peace and may love always be enough from now on! 😘🤗💖

Dear Erin, I do apologize for not responding for 5 days. I have just now noticed your reply. I either wasn't notified that I got a reply or I somehow missed it. I saw it just now because I wanted to check out the links you sent me which might help me to explain and my husband to understand the ocd. Thank you for all you wrote. I sincerely hope, your mom is getting the help she should be getting. I am so sorry to read about her illnesses. Life can be so ughhh. As if one or the other isn't overwhelming enough, she has to suffer from both. It must be very strenuous for you to deal with it all. Is your ocd affected by your worries about your mom's health? How is your mom doing? I will keep her and you in my prayers. I just can't understand why some people decide to become doctors, medical doctors. It takes a long time and hard work to finish the studying. I would expect they did it because they wanted to help people. I am at the moment doctorless. I need to start looking for a new one. Thank you for your support and wishes. It is hard to deal with doctors. How do I chose a new one, If I have to decide to be a doctor's patient even before I have seen him or her? Just by the name? If I like the name Sarah more than James or Lisa, should I base my choice only on that? That is how the system works here. What if I decide for one that turns out to be just like my ex-doctor? Not that it is very likely. The old one excelled at stinking with her attitude. Yeah, Ocd is so isolating. I kind of believe that forums like this one save some lives. It's the 1st time that I joined any ocd forums or whatever this is called again, but it means the world of a difference to me. The world is still a pretty scary place, but it is not such a vast, empty and lonely place anymore, because for the very first time in over 30 years of strugglimg with ocd, I am in touch with other people with ocd, anxieties. I feel like a heavy burden was lifted off of my shoulders since I feel safe enough here to finally speak openly about ocd. I don't think I will ever find a person around me where I live that I would be able to tell them as it is. God bless, universe bless all people with ocd, and especially these here at NOCD, who share their experiences, seek help and give advice, support and love to others. I had a lovely time with my husband last weekend. He's away for work again, but will come home for the Easter. Just 3 more days. I am glad you have had good therapists who actually had positive impact on your every day life with ocd. I do not think there is a good or at least qualified ERP theeapist in my whole country. Maybe just one, but he went private, doesn't accept insurance and is very expensive. To top it all, he lives 200 kms away and does his work only in person. The rest have not even heard of my type of ocd, well they all believe ocd means just germ fighting or repeatedly counting or checking. I don't t know why, but no psychiatrist here or psychologist seems to be interested in treating ocd. So if you can sometimes share an advice you got from your therapists and think it might help me or others, I sure would appreciate it. How are you feeling at the moment? I hope your, my and other people's ocds are packing to go away for a few days to celebrate Easter. Wouldn't that be just lovely? 😊. I hope you can feel from my words how grateful I am to you for all you write. Life is so much easier. In my thoughts at all times. Always here for you! Keep that in mind! We'll fight this together somehow. Tons of hugs. 🌞💞🌼

No need to apologize NODA. My mom’s situation is unchanged but thank you for the prayers. Periodically I get sad about my mom or guilty that being a parent and my ocd mean I don’t see her as often as I like and my sisters who are nearby her are the ones helping her with groceries etc. But my mom and sisters are very kind and no one blames me for not doing more except my ocd bully.

Many insurance companies and health care centers have doctor summaries you can read - I’ve found them useful in deciding which doctor to try. Some even have patient ratings. The other option is to ask people you know if they have a doctor they like.

I agree NOCD is a lifesaver. I have been lucky to meet in person others suffering from OCD in residential, PHP and IOP programs. Sharing with others who understand and is so helpful in a human contact way even beyond the advice itself. Glad you and your husband had some quality time together and will after his current trip. Does NOCD offer services for your country? They do for many. I’m okay but not great today - my female cycle is making me really anxious but it will end. And I’m making progress overall with my ocd anyway. Your gratitude on this hard day makes a difference. Thank you. Here for you too.