- Date posted
- 2y
People with health anxiety, tell your story.
I’ve been struggling with health/allergy OCD lately. I’d love to hear some stories from everyone to help me cope and move through this.
I’ve been struggling with health/allergy OCD lately. I’d love to hear some stories from everyone to help me cope and move through this.
When I was in high school and college, I kept reading about deadly diseases and then imagining that I had those diseases. I would compulsively check for symptoms and read everything I could about the illnesses, thinking that I needed to prepare myself and be vigilant. I annoyed several doctors by repeatedly seeking treatment/diagnosis for illnesses that I did not have. (But I don't feel too bad about that since they got paid, after all.) The list of diseases I thought I had includes smallpox, meningitis, various heart ailments, skin cancer, penile cancer, and vCJD (the human form of "mad cow disease"). That last one was the worst one, the one that finally caused such a crisis that I dropped out of college. I never really had OCD-specific therapy, but my therapists were well-informed about OCD and told me the right things — that trying to argue against the thoughts would make them stronger, that the key was to accept uncertainty, etc. Medication helped a lot. And eventually, my continued failure to die from any of these diseases made me start to really accept that I had been wrong about all of them. My brain just kind of let that theme go ... and moved on to others -_- Interestingly, because I monitored my heart rate so compulsively for several years, I developed the ability to feel my pulse moving through my whole body just by sitting very still. It's kind of a neat trick.
@Dorbzeldge This is my ocd I am struggling with. How do you stop feeling the pulse when siting still?
@Anonymous I never did stop feeling it. I still notice it, but I just accept the feeling because I am not worrying about my pulse anymore. It feels normal now. I am typing this on my phone and I can feel the pulse in my fingers.
@Dorbzeldge Yeah makes sense! Thankyou for responding!
@Dorbzeldge I noticed that meditation helps after the fact. But it depends on the day.
I am struggling with it too, not so much eating but i constantly think that I have a blood clot or am having a stroke. I assess any odd feelings I have in my body and convince myself that I am dying a lot. Lately Ive been trying to meditate (there are really good videos on YouTube) and also listening to solfeggios frequencies has been helping me.
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@ocd.is.a.bitch111 I cried as I read this because I’ve never seen something so close to what I feel. Everyday I struggle to eat things. Even if I’ve ate them before. I’ve lost 15 pounds within the past 3 weeks. And I’ve avoided medication for so long. If I get a headache, I deal with it. Any pain I just push through because I’m so scared. I’ve been pushing myself a little at a time. Today I pushed myself to eat a sandwich and even put cheese on it. I usually try to make myself do things without thinking about it. I had some chips that I’d try to eat every night. And every time I’d eat one, I’d panic. My mind would race with things every time like “what if the sodium kills me” “what if I have a reaction” just ridiculous stuff. It makes me sick to my stomach and I just feel as if it’s dominating my life. I want to gain control back and not feel fear 24/7. But every time it’s always people telling me to go on meds. But it scares me. I’ve also been scared of brushing my teeth which is not good. I plan to tackle that fear tomorrow.
@ocd.is.a.bitch111 I always check ingredients too. Even today when I did I just told myself “I’m eating this regardless”. I basically forced myself too. But it felt great after the anxiety went down.
You will be ok!! I have health anxiety too ❤️❤️❤️ and because of my OCD I obsess all the time. I’ve gotten a lot better and so will you.
@estelle chiodo I’m glad to hear you’re better. I’m going to keep pushing. <3
I used to struggle with this badly it’s still a thought now , but now I just eat and I’ll have the thought then it’ll go away and I won’t even think twice about it after. but just know that if you’ve been to doctor appts or have had blood drawn they’d notify you of allergies!
Mine started in 2019 after I found a lump. I was googling and fell into a depression despite the lump being benign. The lump is still there but I do start to get anxiety over it from time to time. Any sort of odd sensation in my body, I start to worry it’s cancer - bowel, cervical, stomach, ovarian, lung, throat, skin. You name it. The anxiety shifted towards my baby son and got worse. I worry about his health constantly and randomly feel sad as if there is something wrong with him, and get triggered by, fixate and compulsively examine his skin and any and all marks I see on it.
@divyD I had no idea I was dealing with health anxiety and ocd. So all my behaviours strengthened my fears. I’ve done cbt and emdr. I’m waiting to get into a low cost group ocd program. I don’t have the energy or strength to work as hard as I did with cbt and erp. When I did, I felt tonnes better. I’ve been told to go on meds but I am scared to do so. It’s a journey but we will get there. Somehow.
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