- Date posted
- 2y
People with health anxiety, tell your story.
I’ve been struggling with health/allergy OCD lately. I’d love to hear some stories from everyone to help me cope and move through this.
I’ve been struggling with health/allergy OCD lately. I’d love to hear some stories from everyone to help me cope and move through this.
When I was in high school and college, I kept reading about deadly diseases and then imagining that I had those diseases. I would compulsively check for symptoms and read everything I could about the illnesses, thinking that I needed to prepare myself and be vigilant. I annoyed several doctors by repeatedly seeking treatment/diagnosis for illnesses that I did not have. (But I don't feel too bad about that since they got paid, after all.) The list of diseases I thought I had includes smallpox, meningitis, various heart ailments, skin cancer, penile cancer, and vCJD (the human form of "mad cow disease"). That last one was the worst one, the one that finally caused such a crisis that I dropped out of college. I never really had OCD-specific therapy, but my therapists were well-informed about OCD and told me the right things — that trying to argue against the thoughts would make them stronger, that the key was to accept uncertainty, etc. Medication helped a lot. And eventually, my continued failure to die from any of these diseases made me start to really accept that I had been wrong about all of them. My brain just kind of let that theme go ... and moved on to others -_- Interestingly, because I monitored my heart rate so compulsively for several years, I developed the ability to feel my pulse moving through my whole body just by sitting very still. It's kind of a neat trick.
@Dorbzeldge This is my ocd I am struggling with. How do you stop feeling the pulse when siting still?
@Anonymous I never did stop feeling it. I still notice it, but I just accept the feeling because I am not worrying about my pulse anymore. It feels normal now. I am typing this on my phone and I can feel the pulse in my fingers.
@Dorbzeldge Yeah makes sense! Thankyou for responding!
@Dorbzeldge I noticed that meditation helps after the fact. But it depends on the day.
I am struggling with it too, not so much eating but i constantly think that I have a blood clot or am having a stroke. I assess any odd feelings I have in my body and convince myself that I am dying a lot. Lately Ive been trying to meditate (there are really good videos on YouTube) and also listening to solfeggios frequencies has been helping me.
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@ocd.is.a.bitch111 I cried as I read this because I’ve never seen something so close to what I feel. Everyday I struggle to eat things. Even if I’ve ate them before. I’ve lost 15 pounds within the past 3 weeks. And I’ve avoided medication for so long. If I get a headache, I deal with it. Any pain I just push through because I’m so scared. I’ve been pushing myself a little at a time. Today I pushed myself to eat a sandwich and even put cheese on it. I usually try to make myself do things without thinking about it. I had some chips that I’d try to eat every night. And every time I’d eat one, I’d panic. My mind would race with things every time like “what if the sodium kills me” “what if I have a reaction” just ridiculous stuff. It makes me sick to my stomach and I just feel as if it’s dominating my life. I want to gain control back and not feel fear 24/7. But every time it’s always people telling me to go on meds. But it scares me. I’ve also been scared of brushing my teeth which is not good. I plan to tackle that fear tomorrow.
@ocd.is.a.bitch111 I always check ingredients too. Even today when I did I just told myself “I’m eating this regardless”. I basically forced myself too. But it felt great after the anxiety went down.
You will be ok!! I have health anxiety too ❤️❤️❤️ and because of my OCD I obsess all the time. I’ve gotten a lot better and so will you.
@estelle chiodo I’m glad to hear you’re better. I’m going to keep pushing. <3
I used to struggle with this badly it’s still a thought now , but now I just eat and I’ll have the thought then it’ll go away and I won’t even think twice about it after. but just know that if you’ve been to doctor appts or have had blood drawn they’d notify you of allergies!
Mine started in 2019 after I found a lump. I was googling and fell into a depression despite the lump being benign. The lump is still there but I do start to get anxiety over it from time to time. Any sort of odd sensation in my body, I start to worry it’s cancer - bowel, cervical, stomach, ovarian, lung, throat, skin. You name it. The anxiety shifted towards my baby son and got worse. I worry about his health constantly and randomly feel sad as if there is something wrong with him, and get triggered by, fixate and compulsively examine his skin and any and all marks I see on it.
@divyD I had no idea I was dealing with health anxiety and ocd. So all my behaviours strengthened my fears. I’ve done cbt and emdr. I’m waiting to get into a low cost group ocd program. I don’t have the energy or strength to work as hard as I did with cbt and erp. When I did, I felt tonnes better. I’ve been told to go on meds but I am scared to do so. It’s a journey but we will get there. Somehow.
It started when I became an adult, and started receiving my mental health diagnosis. I hyper fixated on each and every action I did and how it could be related to my diagnosis’s. It then lead to fixation to my physical health — making appointments and seeing every specialist I can to rule out every possibility. I currently have been suffering with obstructive sleep. I woke up the past few days with severe pain from the lack of sleep whilst believing I was oversleeping. Luckily my fit watch tracks my sleep cycle and it turns out I am not receiving any sleep. I had an extreme panic attack — bursting into tears on the phone with my mom wondering what this case might be. She told me it could be sleep apnea and that a simple sleep study could figure this out. However, knowing my family history I made appointments to every specialist I can to make sure it is nothing serious. The unknown of health can be scary to me. Watching my mother suffer with her physical health chronically since I was a child lead me to be very conscious and aware of how my body is functioning. This morning was one of the worst moments of physical pain. I should just take one step at a time with the sleep doctor instead of taking measures to see every specialist that could pertain with this issue. However, that is very hard to me. I don’t want to ever wake up in the pain I was this morning. Does anyone else suffer with health-related OCD? And if so, how do you find a sense of ease during moments like I expressed?
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
Hi everyone, I’m Andrea and I am a member of the Intake Team here at NOCD. In junior high, I was known as the “aneurysm girl” because I was convinced any small headache meant I was dying. At just 12 years old, I read something that triggered my OCD, and from that moment on, my brain latched onto catastrophic health fears. Any strange sensation in my body felt like proof that something was seriously wrong. I constantly sought reassurance, avoided being alone, and felt trapped in an endless cycle of fear. Over time, my OCD shifted themes, but health anxiety was always there, lurking in the background. I turned to drinking to numb my mind, trying to escape the fear that never let up. Then, in 2016, everything spiraled. I was sitting at work, feeling completely fine, when suddenly my vision felt strange—something was “off.” My mind convinced me I was having a stroke. I called an ambulance, launching myself into one of the darkest periods of my life. I visited doctors multiple times a week, terrified I was dying, yet every test came back normal. The fear never loosened its grip. For years, I cycled in and out of therapy, desperately trying to find answers, but no one recognized what was really happening. I was always told I had anxiety or depression, but OCD was never mentioned. I was suicidal, believing I would never escape the torment of my mind. It wasn’t until 2022—after years of struggling, hitting rock bottom, and finally seeking specialized OCD treatment—that I got the right diagnosis. ERP therapy at NOCD was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Today, I’m 34, sober, and living a life I never thought was possible. Do I still have hard days? Absolutely. But I am no longer a prisoner to my fears. The thoughts still come, but they don’t control me anymore. They don’t dictate my every move. Life isn’t perfect, but it no longer knocks me off my feet. If you’re struggling with health OCD or somatic OCD, I see you. I know how terrifying and isolating it can be. But I also know that it can get better. If you have any questions about health & somatic OCD, ERP, and breaking the OCD cycle, I’d love to tell you what I’ve learned first hand. Drop your questions below, and I’ll answer all of them!
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