I just felt something sink in my stomach when i was looking at girls and it just all of a sudden dropped. I tried it earlier and i didn't feel a drop in my stomach when i was looking at girls and thinking about them anything i dont want to be gay im not gay i know im not i just know it.

Lol, I've not been having any reaction to the thoughts and it feels as if I've accepted being gay..??? It feels weird, also I don't feel in love with my boyfriend anymore.. I'm worried, what if I really m gay? Feels like it.. I generally don't like girls (and have never), but when I think about it, it then feels as if I do. Scrolling through my gallery I found a lot of pictures of girls clothes, videos of pretty girls.. not to long ago I used to JUST watch girls, I've thought about them being attractive, but I've never been attracted to them, never thought about leaving my boyfriend for a woman.. I hate this

Why can't I figure this out and why when I try to it makes me feel like I am gay? I feel so depressed I was starting to be myself again and I was so happy even got a girlfriend and was working out and about to get a job too but now it's all lost I hav wno motivation to do anything, when I check gay porn I get aroused, when I imagine scenarios no matter what I get aroused I guess I've lost. I've never been homophobic or saw it as wrong but I also was never interested in men I always had crushes and fantasized about women and wanting to only be with women but now it feels like I can't even do that. I'm also noticing men alot more now too as handsome or pretty boy faced and it's making me feel even more in denial ): I fucking hate this so much I would do anything to go back to my comfortable happy self who was straight and girl crazy. I really hope this isn't all real I don't want any of this i just want to be straight not because of society but that's what made me the happiest and most fulfilling version of myself. I just don't understand why it all feels so real? Why I can't no matter what have certainty that stops me from checking? Why does porn cause arousal? Why do I notice men alot more? Even now I still don't want sex or a relationship especially a relationship because the thought of being intimate with a man isn't something I want and would make me uncomfortable and sex causes arousal but it's not something I want unlike women I desire it I want it. It makes me feel all fuzzy and good inside.

I’m getting Groinal around my own brothers, when I saw his stomach. I don’t know if it’s groinal I hope it is, it even felt like it grew a little and I was stopping it. And then “if this was another guy you would definitely like it”. I try say “if I was actually gay I wouldn’t have dumb thoughts like this” but it doesn’t work my mind says I’m gay anyways