I’m scared of being a cheater

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year coming this May. I have never had feelings for someone like this and I genuinely see myself living the rest of my life with him. Talking to him comes effortlessly. He sees me for all that I am and works with me. My family has already begun developing a connection with him as well as I have with his family. I’ve never felt so at home until meeting him. Lately my ROCD symptoms have been playing on the narrative of him either finding a new girl that interests him and is somehow “better” than me OR me ruining our relationship because of potential cheating I have absolutely no actual interest in cheating because I know he’s my person and so am his. I know I’m going to marry him and I know that I want him to be the father of my kids. I want to see him grow and I want to build a foundation of unconditional love with him. So why do I shame myself? There’s this shop that him and I go to quite frequently, and the last time we went an employer that we typically see every-time we come began talking to me personally. We were all just talking about movies but my boyfriend mentioned that he felt like he was flirting with me. I begun feeling bad like I was doing something wrong. My mind started telling me that I liked having him “flirt” with me and that it made me feel desirable and confident in knowing that I was still considered attractive. I’m scared because now everytime we go the employee seems to be staring at me and when I went today he actually gave me something for free which led to me thinking I was playing into the flirting narrative and that this would lead to something worse (Though I still have no interest in doing so, just anxiety about that happening is the best way to put it) Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is there any advice that can be given? I don’t think anything’s going to happen, but what If I do like knowing someone likes me even if it’s not reciprocated? Does that make me a cheater? Or is that the product of unresolved self worth issues?

Username: mrgg11mrgg11

Date posted: 1y ago

Dont ever fall in ocd tricks.I cheated my gf and i felt so bad.I will necer join more relationship because of ocd because i am seeying ocd killed my feelings.I toold her that i cheated and she want to forgive me to we be back.But i ignore it all because of OCD.Because i know this can be happen again and i want her all the best on my life and she will always be special to me.Dont fall on those tricks

Username: BSVWYIRGNBSVWYIRGN

Date posted: 1y ago

@mrgg11 Thank you for sharing your experience, I truly appreciate it and i send love your way that you will be with whom you’re destined to be with and that you will show yourself unconditional love

Username: Rachel2727Rachel2727

Date posted: 1y ago

When I’m in relationships I get the thought of cheating too sometimes. Don’t know where it comes from because I don’t cheat on people. But I do know that ocd attacks your core values !

Username: BSVWYIRGNBSVWYIRGN

Date posted: 1y ago

@Rachel2727 Thank you! It’s easy to forget that OCD attacks my core values

Username: Rachel2727Rachel2727

Date posted: 1y ago

Before I knew I had ocd. I used to always think I was cheating by flirting so I would continuously ask my friend. I would literally say word by word what happened.

Username: BSVWYIRGNBSVWYIRGN

Date posted: 1y ago

@Rachel2727 I feel so bad I can’t even ask anyone sometimes I like to switch the perspective to see if it’s cheating or if I’d be bothered if my boyfriend did something or not

Username: yarizardyarizard

Date posted: 1y ago

I completely understand you. I actually thought I was the only one who was scared to be the cheater. I’ve had plenty of thoughts about that and it has also happened to me that I’ve thought maybe I do like knowing someone likes me even if it’s not reciprocated. The situation you described happened to me with my boyfriend and a guy who is always staring at me in college. I think that it probably has to do more with unresolved self worth issues because I personally do have many of them. OCD always points and directs you to the opposite of reality and who you are, at least that’s what I’ve learned recently.

Username: BSVWYIRGNBSVWYIRGN

Date posted: 1y ago

@yarizard Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I honestly thought I was the only one who’s been afraid of being the cheater so I understand feeling like it’s such an individual experience but OCD definitely attaches core beliefs and values so it makes sense as to why we’d be anxious about not going against what we believe is immoral

Username: livingthroughtheocdlivingthroug...

Date posted: 1y ago

Try not to stress it. I am going through the exact same thing with a guy from work. Wondering if I stayed in his presence alone for too long incase I was hoping he’d “try something” with me. When I had the thought and realised what I was thinking I left. But What if I was subconsciously waiting for him to make a move. I don’t see him like that and I love my boyfriend but ocd attaches to anything we fear. Don’t beAt yourself up.

Username: BSVWYIRGNBSVWYIRGN

Date posted: 1y ago

@livingthroughtheocd Thank you so much for sharing your experience! This helps me feel a lot less alone in this experience and I share the same feeling of “if I’m around him then I’m just waiting for him to “do something” even though I have no physical, emotional, or mental attraction to that dude he’s just nice and if anything he’d be a a friend

Username: livingthroughtheocdlivingthroug...

Date posted: 1y ago

YES

Username: Ella1212

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

Plz only respond with positive advice or thoughts. Last time I posted someone responded with a bad thought and it made everything worse. I have ROCD and I am absolutely terrified that I might cheat or doing something that’s cheating. Like everything is either bad or good. It’s all just black and white. I’ve never slept with anyone, given my number out, kissed anyone, texted anyone or secretly been seeing anyone. I freak out over things like making eye contacts with a guy and I notice he thinks I’m pretty (which feels good cuz I struggle with insecurities) and I make eye contact for too long, but the entire time I have no intentions of doing any with this guy and I’m very prepared to tell him I have a boyfriend if he comes over and telling him to leave. Anyways, that’s an example of the small things I tend to obsess over and just wondering if anyone worries about the same thing and any positive advice you could give before I go insane.

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous39826

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD and flirting

Need some advice please! Went out with friends the other night - both of them are single and I have been in my wonderful relationship for over a year now. Anyways, my friend met a guy and he offered to buy us some drinks. Both my friends went to the bathroom and I decided to stay behind and watch all our drinks (safety reasons obvi since we don’t know this man). A man was talking to the guy we were with and I was relieved I didn’t need to make conversation with him when all of a sudden the guy we were with goes to the other man “hey my girlfriend and I here are trying to have a nice date night together and enjoy each other’s company, would you mind?” And I was completely thrown off. I felt so uncomfortable and had to go along with it, and the other man was like “what do you like about your bf?” And I was like Um he’s a cool guy I guess and it becomes this big false story. The man leaves and this guy then asks me “have you ever had that happen to you before? Have a guy pretend to be your boyfriend?” And I immediately was like “no I haven’t. Normally MY boyfriend is with me lol.” Shut it down right away. Then the guy started asking about my friends again. Anyways long story short, my OCD spiked after this. My mind has been replaying the event over and over to check and make sure I didn’t flirt. My mind is also saying “did I like he was trying to flirt with me? Did I want to flirt back? Did I flirt back? Maybe I flirted?” I had a quick thought it could be a cute story at first for how someone would meet for the first time, not me obviously but someone else, but then the more I thought about it the more I just thought this guy was plain rude. I told my boyfriend the entire story that same night and he just said the guys a weirdo (which he was) and he’s sure I didn’t do anything wrong. But I still feel so guilty for some reason? Any advice? Also want to say I know I would never ever do anything to jeopardize my relationship with my boyfriend, nor do I even have any desire for other mens attention. I was just super uncomfortable I was even put in that situation.

Username: dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

rocd help

me and my boyfriend have had periods where we fight a lot recently. Ever since then, a lot of people, strangers, coworkers, classmates, anytime, I am around them, I find them attractive, or find qualities about them that are attractive. I feel like maybe this happens because I am lacking something that my boyfriend is not giving me. I just don’t know what, I’m really sad because I really do love my boyfriend and I don’t want anyone else, but these thoughts are really hard to deal with. I also have coworkers that are males that I speak to at work, and I always get intrusive thoughts while I’m talking to them or after. I’m really scared. This means I’m a cheater, or about to cheat. A lot of things have happened to me and my boyfriend’s relationship, not cheating at all but you know there’s way more than that that can happen. I feel like a lot of things have happened that we need to discuss and it’s been weighing on me and causing these thoughts. I feel like maybe I have these thoughts about other people, but my OCD makes it more than what it is and gives me anxiety. Help :(

Relationship OCD

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I’m scared of being a cheater

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