question , read if ya can💜

i'm so curious. if we are all sharing we have similar issues and can relate to eschother; why isn't it more comforting to me knowing that it is ocd? everyone tells me so and i can relate to you guys? so why is it so hard for us, i'm just wondering ? like it is so hard to accept as ocd but i really need to accept it as that so my brain recognizes it and eventually it should get less and less occurring has anyone heard of the term "hungry ghost"???! i've had that prob in general always needing somethinf to satisfy me, a lot of people do it but i find it particularly intense with ocd bc when i tell my self it's ocd i can become calm after a while but i'm like then what??'i want a distraction, i want satisfaction, i want to so something to satisfy me but i cannot go through life that way and if my ocd is going to go away it needs to be the right way and my hungry ghost needs to be put to an end you know?

Username: breannan20breannan20

Date posted: 1y ago

I think that’s the cycle of OCD! You give yourself reassurance by knowing you’re not alone, which is the compulsion. Then you feel relief for a short while before something triggers another thought and the cycle repeats.

Username: Soccer1343!Soccer1343!

Date posted: 1y ago

@breannan20 oh wow😓 so yeah ocd at its finest it really does take over your life this is not fun:/ but good insight thank you!

Username: FJustRightOCDFJustRightOCD

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD is known as the doubting disorder. So it’s going to doubt to a point of constant dis faction. Hopefully with time, healing with self compassion and ERP in time things can get better. But I know what you mean. And I think depression and adhd help fuel the hungry ghost dilemma I’m in at times, not to mention OCD avoidance. It’s like an escape from the overpowering visceral resistance I feel to face some of my biggest fears. It’s hard to put this stuff into words.

Username: Soccer1343!Soccer1343!

Date posted: 1y ago

@MeowMix i agree thank you for the input!!! it makes sense

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 1y ago

Yeah … the more I learn the more this is what ocd does. Even if there was a 100% fool proof test that confirmed your fear as false, OCD will find a way to remove that 100%. “Did the test have a malfunction? It’s a computer, computers have issues all the time” e.g. Then add the fact a part of us believes the doubt and the truth behind the fear. And we reinforce it through compulsions. Ultimately - your brain has been taught the fear is real. And to keep you safe, you have to treat the fear as real and think/behave that way. The irony - believe and act like the fear might or might not be true. Do it long enough, and fear/anxiety moves away and nature takes over. Its bloody hard. Though.

Username: Soccer1343!Soccer1343!

Date posted: 1y ago

@gp can you rephrase the last paragraph? i like what you said i just don't quite get the last part or maybe i do and i just don't fully get it enough to understand !! but preach for sure

Username: gp gp

Date posted: 1y ago

@Soccer1343! So - the way I understand the mechanics of ocd. It’s driven by a part of your brain that doesn’t learn with logic, it learns with behaviour. So you get a thought. You have OCD, so unlike most people who don’t react to the thought or shrug it off, you attach an emotion to it. An anxious/feared emotion that grows legs and becomes a (or many) feared stories and outcomes. You’ve just shown this part of your brain that there is a thought/feeling/urge and it’s important enough for you to react. It’s now learnt the topic/theme of that thought/feeling is danger. And to keep you safe, it’ll keep telling you you’re in danger and that the threat is real, and that you need to do ANYTHING to make sure the threat is gone or resolved. So every time you DO something to try and resolve the threat. It again learns that your fear is real and needs attention. Do it again, and again, and again, and again and you can start to see why your brain thinks it needs to keep telling you it’s a real danger. Because you react as if it is. Because this part of the brain learns through actions, it means you can’t logic it out. It can’t understand logic. It just can’t. Logic to it becomes rumination, which is literally behaving like the fear is real. Instead, you have to behave as though the thoughts/feelings are irrelevant. Nirvana is - your brain tells you that you are gay/straight/whatever, and you don’t react at all. Or if you do react, you react in a way that isn’t certain. Hence lots of people use maybe/maybe-not. So what you are doing is basically SHOWING this part of your brain that the feared thought/feeling is there, but it’s not an actual threat. Then over time, anxiety reduces and it’s almost a reverse snowball. I’m not a psychologist. I’m someone who suffers from ROCD and then HOCD. I’m currently getting treatment for 12 months of HOCD. I’ve been that obsessed and compulsion driven that I’ve analysed ocd within an inch of its life. That doesn’t make me the know all. So beware. For me … I am currently working through my greatest barrier to using ERP properly. And that is that I believe the thoughts/feelings as true. And that is currently stopping me from engaging with treatment properly. That and I’m using this forum way too much as a compulsion. Why? Because I’m believing my thoughts/feelings as true, I don’t want them to be true, I’m feeling extreme distress, and I want that to go away by finding others who have similar situations. I’m behaving as if my ocd thought/feelings are true and therefore a real threat. I’m scared. I’m tired. I want a quick fix. And I want to go back to a time before my brain broke. Reality is… I have to make a leap of faith to engage in treatment and ERP and allow science to do its thing.

Username: Soccer1343!Soccer1343!

Date posted: 1y ago

@gp wow you seem like you know a lot and i hear alot of this from my therapiSt too! i think you should listen to yourself , we can do this i promise. its not a forever thing- even tho i am just starting with OCD specific therapy, i have faith we can do this and get it under control . ocd just controls you it's crazy what it can do but it doesn't even matter the content it's not real and it will do whatever it can to prove it is real to u with everything but it's not and ya it bothers me every waking moment of the day but it won't be forever !!!!! thank you for your words

Username: GreenPixieGreenPixie

Date posted: 1y ago

I know what you mean. EVERYTHING concerning ocd is short-lived when it comes to relief. I get the "hungry ghost" part too. For me it feels like a restlessness of the brain. It's always seeking an "activity" to keep itself occupied. I want to say to it, "go do a crossword puzzle if you need entertainment. Stop torturing me with anxious thoughts!" Stupid brain🙄😕

Username: Soccer1343!Soccer1343!

Date posted: 1y ago

@GreenPixie yesss you get it!!:((( yeah it's terrible

Username: licia

Date posted: 5y ago

Existential/philosophical obsessions? Anyone dealt with this before? I literally feel like I’m getting better with it and boom I get triggered by something I read unintentionally on the internet or talks with others, movies or tv and I feel like I’m back to square one with a new existential obsession that I feel like I need to solve. I just am so frustrated I’m trying to go about this in the right way I’m trying but I just don’t know how to go about it right. My ocd has taken many forms and everytime it’s one I wish for the other it’s so wierd. Like right now I rather be dealing with my health obsessions then this. But if it’s not one it’s the others it’s like I’m addicted to ocd and juggle obsessions. I just want peace but idk what to do. Does anyone else feel like they conquer one obsession and a new one pops up? I feel like I constantly am in a loop I look at old notebooks and realize I’ve been jumping around the same obsessions for over 3 years. Insanity. I would love to hear what has helped you guys and what I you think I should do?

"Pure" OCD

Username: TofuIndulger

Date posted: 1y ago

Stuck

Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?

Username: Jem30

Date posted: 46w ago

Question

Hi, I'm writing this just to see if someone else can relate. I've always been very confused by the difference between regular therapy and ocd therapy. What I mean is that, at least in my limited experience, regular therapy involved examining your feelings and thoughts (why you had them) and I was told that you can only process something by getting to the root of it. However, since I developed ocd and was diagnosed with it, therapy has been about tolerating anxiety, guilt, fear, sadness, etc., while forcing myself to not analyse the thoughts and feelings that I have. I feel very weird about this. It's like I went from "everything you think and feel has a reason (i am not talking here about fleeting thoughts and emotions, I am talking about recurrent and persistent ones) to "whatever feeling or thought you are having is not who you are and you should just observe it and not get involved with it". Am I the only one who is so confused by this? Also, if I am not my thoughts, and I am not my feelings, and I am not my sensations, who am I then? I mean, what is supposed to define me? I know some people say "your values" in response to this, but values are thoughts as well, and they can change over time, so, I don't think that this makes anything any clearer. Others say that it is our actions that define us. I can agree with that, but aren't our actions based on our thoughts and feelings? Anyway, I am not saying that therapy for ocd is ineffective, I am actually finding it very helpful, however I am still very confused about many aspects of it. I hoped that some of you could help me understand it better. Thanks. I wish you all a good day.

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