Just don't have it in me to go anywhere, it's been a week. I've gone out once to grocery shop because I had to. I can feel myself getting worse I think. I have been doing a lot of avoiding. I have been avoiding doing things all summer. I hit a wall last week, I had a really bad day and nothing triggered it, it was just a down day. I did a lot of reflecting and realized how okay I'm not. I'm not at my rock bottom, I've been there before. I'm functional for the most part but I'm not okay. Scheduled an appointment with a psychologist last week. It's on the 31st. I'm nervous but hopeful.

I believe it has. I think because I'm still relatively functional I didn't really allow myself to believe it but I avoid, a lot. I feel even more guilty because it's not just my world they is getting smaller it's my children's as well and that's worse than anything. That realization is what brought me back to therapy. I just hope I can do this. I'm honestly quite scared of ERP again. I fudged it last time and this time I want to do it right and doing it right is terrifying.

That appointment should do you a lot of good. In the meantime I would suggest that you just set small goals for yourself. Maybe even reward yourself when you accomplish them.

Im glad you made an appointment. It sounds like your avoidant behavior is taking over, and I know how much pain avoidance can cause. Small goals to stop avoiding situations and triggers is a great place to start. Hopefully your psychologist can help you plan out how to take back some of your life. OCD can make our worlds so small sometimes. But we can grow them again with some effort and bravery. Stay strong!

Doing is right takes a lot of bravery. But I guarantee you are braver and more capable of facing your fears than you think. Take it one step at a time. You can do this.

Just took the YBOCS again, scored a 30. ?

Doing it** right

Thank you ?