- Username
- Cassi4
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I believe it has. I think because I'm still relatively functional I didn't really allow myself to believe it but I avoid, a lot. I feel even more guilty because it's not just my world they is getting smaller it's my children's as well and that's worse than anything. That realization is what brought me back to therapy. I just hope I can do this. I'm honestly quite scared of ERP again. I fudged it last time and this time I want to do it right and doing it right is terrifying.
That appointment should do you a lot of good. In the meantime I would suggest that you just set small goals for yourself. Maybe even reward yourself when you accomplish them.
Im glad you made an appointment. It sounds like your avoidant behavior is taking over, and I know how much pain avoidance can cause. Small goals to stop avoiding situations and triggers is a great place to start. Hopefully your psychologist can help you plan out how to take back some of your life. OCD can make our worlds so small sometimes. But we can grow them again with some effort and bravery. Stay strong!
Doing is right takes a lot of bravery. But I guarantee you are braver and more capable of facing your fears than you think. Take it one step at a time. You can do this.
Just took the YBOCS again, scored a 30. ?
Doing it** right
Thank you ?
I havent been on here in a while and honestly stuff has been getting worse. I legitimately feel like I'm crazy, but sometimes it comes in waves. For a bit I may be feeling fine and then I get an odd feeling and just feel off and the instrusive thoughts start getting worse. These thoughts are literally eating me alive. I love my parents and I would be devastated if anything happened to them, but I feel like I'm the danger and I hate it. I find myself leaving the house as often as I can and when I come back at night I literally get the worse feelings. They already know about this and I've been seeing a doctor about it, but cant get a psychiatrist appointment until jan 22 ?. At this point I dont even consider it ocd I just think I fucked my brain up with drugs.
hi everyone, i’ve been using this app for about 2 weeks now, maybe a little more or less than that, i can’t remember exactly when i downloaded it because these past 3 weeks have all been a blur. ive mostly just been lurking and observing other people’s posts and conversations. i’m currently suffering from some bad existential ocd. i haven’t been getting a lot of sleep since lockdown started. i’ve known i’ve had ocd for awhile now but i’ve never gotten any kind of help for it. i don’t talk about my problems to anyone and keep all my thoughts bottled up until i get over things on my own. but every time i go through a phase like this it gets worse each time it comes back. i haven’t felt like this in over 3 years and i thought i was done a finally free but now it feels like my life is over. i had a doctor’s appointment this past Tuesday and i’m going to be getting counseling (i’m not sure if there’s a difference between counseling and therapy, the word my doctor used specifically was counseling. she might have just said that but meant therapy or maybe there is a difference im not sure) but i don’t see the point. everyone tells me to ‘embrace the uncertainty’ but i don’t know how i can go on living happily with the possibility of my worst fears being true. i won’t say what they are in this post but if you’re curious I’ll tell you. i put a trigger warning just in case i get into the conversation of what exactly my worst fears are with anyone and i don’t want to trigger anyone who’s also dealing with the same problems as me. i just thought, in case im wrong-which i hope i am-that it wouldn’t hurt to talk it out right now. my mom and dad don’t fully understand and i don’t want to scare them and it might be a few more weeks before i start counseling.
Seeing a psychiatrist for the first time on the 30th and now that it's getting closer to the day the more nervous I am. I 100% want help. I need help. I feel like my mind has pulled me back from so much in my life whether it's being around my family, friends and just getting the motivation to do anything I love to do because I feel like I don't deserve love or happiness. My parents know everything that's going on with me thanks to the constant reassurance I need to get by which now turned into regret because I hate that I brought them into this when they don't even believe I could possibly have OCD. I would much rather it be all in my head rather than mean something about me or be real. I don't want it to be real. I'm afraid all the time of my thoughts and feelings I feel like I'm going to take it out on myself because I really do hate myself so much. And it's funny because if it was anyone else in the world I would do whatever it took for them to know how much they matter and that it's not their fault but I can't help but feel like it's all my fault. That I did this to myself. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time I just want my life back. I want to be properly diagnosed but I'm probably going to hold back some details until I know for sure the psychiatrist is understanding of ocd and the symptoms of every version of it. My heart goes out to any struggling this time of year or even this year at all. Let's go into 2021 with much positivity and love. Let's get through this together 🙏🏻
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