Do I give OCD the power to end my relationship?

Hello guys, Im new here and seeking for advice. Im in a relationship with an amazing guy. I love him so much and that’s why my ocd and anxiety are latching onto my connection with him. He was staying over at my place and 2 events happened (something to do with his disease and he had an allergic reaction to food) that caused my stress and anxiety levels to be higher than normal. Followed by a night of bad sleep made things worse. I became very alert and was easily triggered. Something occurred that I completely miscalculated and we talked about it but my anxiety was through the roof at this point. I got these disturbing images of me hurting him in my head. I have had intrusive thoughts in the past but it didn’t affect me this much. Because of the lack of sleep and my high anxiety level made me so afraid of myself that I made the decision to sent him home. I have cried so much since that happened. I feel so bad for having that thought. I love him so much. Our communication is very healthy so I’ve told him about this the day after (why I sent him home). I couldnt do it in the moment because i didnt want to make the situation worse. We werent in a fight when i sent him home but both emotional and hugging each other. I have the feeling that my anxiety and ocd have won the battle by sending him home (avoidance). But i care so much for him that I didn’t want him to be at risk (thats what my mind tells me, i know its showing me disturbing images the opposite of what i want). Im in the early stage of having this type of OCD but I don’t want to lose him. But for me the only way to get this relationship to work is to get rid of this. Can anyone relate? Like, having intrusive thoughts about your partner? I know its latching on to the things you love the most and I hate it so much. Thanks in advance :)

Username: maleea9maleea9

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi im sorry you experienced this, and I can really relate in some ways. I think with what you we mentioned it seems to me that the combination of external stressors already caused your body to be in a more tense state. It can feel like a snowball effect especially when you’re more sensitive, anything else can build & cause you to be even more anxious. I feel like its best to not beat yourself up for the reaction you had, since it seems it was the stress that cause your mind to be more on edge. Ive had intrusive thoughts of my partner & of many of my loved ones. It was disturbing & i didnt like them, but now when they occasionally come up i just let them play in my mind, to me i see the thoughts as an annoying little bug or something. Then for me it passes.

Username: AnonymousxAnonymousx

Date posted: 1y ago

@maleea9 Thank you so much for your answer! I’ll try to stop overthinking. It hurts to have these thoughts about someone you love so much :(

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 1y ago

If your spouse isn’t abusive, then no, there’s no need to break up with them in general.

Username: jtkachuk92jtkachuk92

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

If you love him and he's all around good for you, then don't break up with him or send him away. The flip your OCD might make after the fact is not beneficial at all. I unknowingly ruined an amazing relationship with my obsessive thoughts and compulsions. It was picture perfect. We had our own home in Miami, 2 nice cars, a dog, and family within 30mins of us. Once we were settled, my mind wasn't. It thought of every scenario to jeopardize our relationship. Whether it was to lash out for no reason, suspect cheating, suspect lying, purposefully do things to make my partners life HELL on earth. He stuck by me for 3yrs of that hell until he couldn't take it anymore. Told me I need to seek help and my brain said "your good, you weeded out the rat." But the second that door closed, my brain flipped the other way. "Good job. Nobody's gonna love you now. Might as well give up. Feed your addictions and impulses, isolate, and I'll be fine. And I did that. He we are another 3yrs later and I'm finally getting help for this scourge. Don't let your brain ruin something amazing. Love is amazing and cherish every second you can but realize we are not in control of other people as much as we'd like to think we are. We can control our thoughts though. It's not easy and I'm not going to pretend like I know the answer. Just don't mess up a great thing.

Username: AnonymousxAnonymousx

Date posted: 1y ago

@jtkachuk92 Thank you so much for your answer. We talked about it more and he really wants to help me to get rid of my ocd and anxiety. He’s the best. I hope one day you’re healed and find love again. We got this :)

Username: Stacey08

Date posted: 5y ago

OCD is ruining my life. I thought I had my recovery down & have done so well for almost 7 months. Then this week I had an intrusive thought I couldn’t get rid of - my brain convincing me that I’m in love with somebody else when I am absolutely not. I adore my boyfriend and I’m currently away traveling with him. He struggles to understand my thoughts and struggles with his reaction to it and overthinks my thoughts that I didn’t even want to have. :( please if anyone has any advice, I’m desperate as I can’t lose the love of my life over OCD.

Username: hilovely

Date posted: 47w ago

Newbie to OCD

hi so i am pretty new to discovering ocd and trying to figure out why i am feeling the way i am feeling. i’ve never been diagnosed with ocd and honestly thought my anxiety was just super bad until it started affecting the way i saw my relationship. i’ve never had this bad of anxiety in my relationship and around november of last year is whenever i started noticing the cycle of repeated thoughts of “should i break up with him?” ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years. yes we’ve been through our ups and downs and our relationship has overall been such a beautiful relationship (super healthy compared to old ones) we love each other deeply and communicate and just overall find ways to help improve our relationship healthier and i’ve had a doubt here and there throughout these years but since last November i started feeling disconnected with him a little. i started to question sometimes if i really loved him. other times i told myself and asked myself if i should break up with him. if we really loved each other. i started focusing on his features a lot more. to the point where these thoughts around him made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. i’ve done all my research trying to figure out if I love him or not and trying to find reassurance and other people stories to see if they feel the same way I would also see how I feel whenever I was around him and it got to a point where I overall just felt very disconnected with him and a lot of different forms. I sometimes will forget about these thoughts and I will go out through my week throughout my days and I won’t even think about them and then something good will happen actually and it will trigger that immediate thought or sometimes we’re not even doing anything we’re just hanging out and being together and that will trigger the thought of wanting to break up with him and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it makes me panic gives me anxiety and it just stresses me out because I know it’s not true, but my brain has tried to fully convince myself it is. I was doing really good and I figured out how healthy I wanted this relationship to be recently and because we’ve been so stressed on talking about our relationship and moving on even further and growing together, it started coming back and now I’m very very anxious again. I also have this type of anxiety of obsessing over things such as my health. When it comes to my gut health to my skin I have a very bad habit of having perfectionism not only within, my body face and everything around what is myself. I have a lot of anxieties, and I always thought it was just very severe anxiety until when I was researching why I was doubting my love for my boyfriend I heard of ROCD and I was super curious to know if I even have OCD, I brought it up with my psychiatrist and she doesn’t think that I have any. I have so much anxiety over this I feel like it’s physically and mentally controlling my body from how much it’s overwhelming me. I don’t know what to do. I keep convincing myself it’s not even RCOD and maybe I truly don’t love him but I have no other proof or feelings that that could be true. It’s just a thought that circles in my head and no matter how many reassurance I give myself it will come back within an hour, if someone could please give some advice I will have my own therapy session here soon and I’m very excited to know how I can overcome this

Username: 12sopapia

Date posted: 47w ago

Relationship ocd

In my past relationship that lasted for years, I so many obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that I listened to like “you don’t really love him. You’re just pretending”. I told him when I would have these thoughts and I could tell that this was not helping our relationship when I would tell him, but the compulsions felt better when I did it. We eventually broke up, and even though he swore it was not because of my ocd, I can’t help but think that I scared him. Flash forward two years and I’ve met this other man. I am worried that my intrusive thoughts about relationship worries will get the best of me and I will end things before they even get good. I think I am more prepared for this time but I’m still worried. I wish I could just stay in the moment and not catastrophic everything.

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Do I give OCD the power to end my relationship?

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