- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am going through the same thing, this is OCD as its finest. OCD is just about doubting, you started doubting your sexuality, then you heard about HOCD (I‘m sure you have it, because if not, you wouldn’t be here) and felt relief. Now OCD is like „She is feeling relief? Hell no, that’s not what I wanted! Now let’s start and making her doubt about HOCD and make her believe she is in denial!“ Every kind of OCD has this kind of denial-obsession. Don’t worry
No one can tell you if you are or not. I can relate Sometims i feel like i am denying, than i try to imagine myself with girl, and i torture my self. My mind said but what if you like this, but you lying, or what if you feel good, than i check once again, than i feel more stressed. It doesn help, that i have groinals or arousal, when i do compulsion. I know that is bad, but i dont know what to do I check my reaction to every girls, even with my friend, i cant relax and be happy when i am with them You are not alone
@MentalHelp what you described is exactly what happened to me. I remember the day I discovered hocd. I've never felt more relieved in my entire life, but it was very short lived.
You will be ok. Honestly, detoxes from social media helps. Sometimes when you scroll through and see pictures of people it can trigger you but also just thinking about it is triggering. If the thought of you being homosexual gives you anxiety, it most likely means you aren’t homosexual. If you were homosexual, you would want to be with someone of the same sex. And think of it this way, if you don’t want to be with a girl, don’t be with a girl. No one is forcing you to be with anyone. If you were truly homosexual, you would still have to make the choice of being in a relationship with a female. You don’t have to if you don’t want it. And if you don’t want it, you aren’t homosexual.
Heya, it sounds like you’re looking for reassurance which is not going to be helpful in the long term. OCD always finds a loophole! I’m really sorry you’re feeling so confused though, I understand the feeling. Maybe you could try the SOS feature on this app to help stave off compulsions right now ☺️
But have you gone through this same feeling? I just need to know that.
Maybe you feel you like it because you are afraid , or becuse of groinals If you liked you will not be stressed
I relate 100% to this.
Yessss
Thank you, it just feels like I’m denying it. Idk if I am or not. Idk what the truth is anymore. I keep picturing things and it feels like I like it. But idk anymore. I have a bf and I enjoy being with him. But the worry about being attracted to girls continues to be there.
Yes^ , I was like oh okay that’s what’s happening. But I knew it was just like all the other thoughts I had before this. But this just all feels so damn real. I’m analyzing every little thing and when I feel like it real I get the hot flashes and a bit light headed. It’s so painful.
Thank you Kristen! I appreciate you’re reply. I have so many panic moments it’s painful.
I understand. It would be nice if there was an off button for our brains, right?
I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?
Does anyone else feel like when they say their identity out loud it is a lie? Like I am a straight woman and have been straight my whole life and have been in two relationships—both with men who I was happily in love with. I can draw my intrusive thoughts back to childhood, but it was always a very brief experience where I would be like “oh I finally have nothing to worry about” and then my brain would be like “wait nevermind you have to worry about the fact that you are gay and in denial.” But every time, these thoughts would go away and I would never have them when I was actually in my relationships or talking to someone. These fears are now back and more real than ever, making me feel like I am actually physically attracted to women and losing my natural biological attitude to men. I do not want to be gay at all and the thought of being that has been making me physically I’ll because it is just now who I am and want to be. I think what makes this all worse is that it’s been awhile since I’ve been in a relationship, so having these thoughts and feelings feels like reality because I have no recent experience with being in a relationship with a man and because of that, my self esteem is extremely low. I now feel triggered by every little thing in life, from hearing the word “gay”/“lesbian”/“lgbt”/“coming out”, to seeing any women of literally any age or appearance out in public, thinking I must be attracted to them. I keep checking my attraction to both males and females and am fearful because I feel like I am losing my attraction to men, which is something that never happened when these thoughts appeared in my life before this most recent flare up. I don’t know if any other people who identify as straight have similar experiences to this, but I cannot help but feel like I am the exception because I did have these thoughts before now (even though they went away for years). I would appreciate any help/insight because the longer I struggle with these thoughts, the farther and farther I feel my old, true self drifting away. I was always able to hang onto the fact that I want a future with a man and want a husband and kids, but now it’s like even that is gone and even though I never want to be with a woman, it’s like these thoughts have convinced me that I will never be with a man. Please help.
Yk how people always say that you would know since childhood or early teen years what your sexuality was even if you didn’t acknowledge or question it? That truly scares me because now I’m question did I secretly know I was bi or gay and just didn’t pay attention to those moments? Was I attracted to men without realizing it ? Did I just push it aside and focused on woman? I’m so lost because for all my life I’ve considered myself straight but now it feels like I’ve been having short moments in my life that I knew I was something besides that. I truly don’t know if this is ocd convincing me or if I’m just to deep in denial to admit it. I’m so lost and feel so alone.
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