What If What I Did Was Actually Wrong?

Hey y'all - I did something unintentionally, and now I'm really scared that I broke a boundary in my relationship. I have heard the logic for both sides of the argument, and while I don't believe I broke a boundary (when I'm somewhat calm) - I'm still plagued with doubt and fear, and it's making me believe that I did indeed do something wrong. Is this real event ocd? Did I actually do something wrong? I don't know what to do.

Username: Ocdeeznuts55Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 50w ago

It can be both! If when you’re calm and can think clearly you don’t think you did it’s probably ok. But maybe you did. But you also could have done something wrong, and also have OCD about it. That’s the tough thing about ROCD is that it can attach to real events and concerns in relationships that actually warrant thinking about and dealing with. But usually when OCD is involved there’s intense anxiety that doesn’t need to be there and the problem seems ‘urgent’ to figure out. When I’ve had these themes with OCD, it can help to get a perspective from a friend or trusted person. If they say it’s not a big deal, then chalk it up to OCD and treat it like you would any other ocd theme

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 50w ago

Thanks for the reply! I asked a friend (who also has OCD) and my sister, they both don't think I did anything wrong. My therapist on the other hand has a different viewpoint, but, she also could have been saying that to trigger me during our session, so I don't really know.

Username: Ocdeeznuts55Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 50w ago

@Anonymous Glad to hear! Yea any good OCD therapist is not going to give you reassurance about your fears. Your OCD could’ve attached to ‘what if it’s not OCD and I actually did something bad’ so that’s why you’re worried about this and why your therapist would tell you these things. Since your trusted friends said you’re ok, take it at that and don’t tell your partner. But, to overcome this OCD you can work on exposures about ‘maybe you did do something wrong and you’re a bad partner’ and accepting that. OCD wants reassurance, and you normally shouldn’t give it any. But in cases like this, I think it can be ok at times to get some reassurance from friends just to help you figure out if it’s something that’s actually worth bringing up with your partner

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 50w ago

@Ocdeeznuts55 You have helped me tremendously (and also triggered me, which, well, nice! Ironic, but fitting for us OCDers hahahaha) I agree - I trust my friend & sister in this case (no offense to therapist - I trust her from a clinical perspective, but my friends see me and my relationship more throughout the weeks lol) and I agree not to tell my partner. I wrote it out, and I'm just gonna ride out the panic/anxiety/urgency that may come from additional doubt. I don't believe I broke a boundary, and I'm gonna work to get out of this cycle. Thanks everyone :)

Username: Ocdeeznuts55Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 50w ago

@Anonymous Awesome I’m glad to hear I could be helpful! (And a little triggering 😂) sounds like you’re doing exactly the right thing. I’m going through an annoying relationship OCD spike right now too, it sucks but we can overcome!! Good luck :)

Username: pupchiapupchia

Date posted: 50w ago

judging by your use of unintentionally, I would assume that no boundary has been broken because to break a boundary you have to have drive to do so and disrespect for your partner. The fact that you are feeling remorseful shows your heart is in the right place.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 50w ago

Thank you so much 😊

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 50w ago

hey there, i can hear how tough this is for you, the doubt and fear sound really overwhelming. 😟 it's rough when your mind keeps spinning around the what-ifs, but you're not alone in this. i've been in your shoes with OCD and what really helped me was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my OCD therapist gave me. it'll be especially helpful for you because it provides personalized step-by-step support when those doubts and fears hit, just like an OCD therapist would with ERP. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: Ocdislame

Date posted: 2y ago

Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.

Username: River 2367

Date posted: 2y ago

Real Event OCD or not?

How can you tell if you're experiencing real event ocd or you are feeling justified guilt for doing something bad. What I did is something that everyone would consider very bad. Is it still OCD? This is making me miserable.

Username: Anonymous444444

Date posted: 1y ago

What if our Real Event really is bad?

I know this is such a typical OCD thought, but I really feel mine is. Without going into too much detail feel like I basically SA'd my ex without meaning to and got away with it. I feel like I need to confess to everyone, including ny current gf, but I'm worried people will never look at me the same again. I'm trying so hard with ERP but I feel like I'm just using it to avoid confronting what I've done. I feel like I'm going to get cancelled or thrown in jail and my life is going to fall apart. I feel so guilty and sorry. I want to be a good person.

Real Events OCD

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What If What I Did Was Actually Wrong?

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