Someone help

Please , please… someone give me some advice who is or has been in similar situation?? I need to stop confessing to my partner. I know it hurts him, he said he knows I cannot control that I have a mental illness, or that I have these thoughts in my head but not to put them in his head, he doesn’t want to think about them which is understandable it’s not just random thoughts it’s intrusive thoughts revolved around ROCD, SOCD mostly are my ocd themes that I confess to him… we have spilt up over this before and he gave me another chance and just continues to do that, because I just keep doing it, I know what I’m doing, I know it’s wrong, but the anxiety ocd gives me nothing else will calm me until I confess either to him or if it’s not him it’s my mum, either way I’m still confessing the difference is it doesn’t hurt my mum when I confess, she can handle it, my partner cannot. I hate myself for doing this, I don’t know how to get out of the OCD haze… best way I can describe when I feel anxious over ocd is a feeling of DOOM. 😔😭 please pray for me… please pray for my partner, my daughter, mother, everyone who is affected because of my mental illness… 🤎

Username: EmilyRae2EmilyRae2

Date posted: 45w ago

I’m going through something similar, confessing is so hard not to do. I recommend start by sitting down with your partner and have an in depth discussion about how he can support you, not just you giving into compulsions as comfort. Talk about what he needs to do to help ease the anxiety of a compulsion in a way that exposes the compulsion and allows the anxiety to be dealt with in a healthy, controlled way. An example of this that I use is ‘hey (insert bf name) I had an ocd thought today I really need to tell you about it as I feel if I don’t I will always be guilty as I don’t know whether it’s ok or not to think this’ my bf will then reply with ‘maybe it is a bad thought maybe it isn’t, who knows, let’s not talk about it and do something else’. This exposes the compulsion, it doesn’t fulfill it, like for example ‘omg I thought today that I didn’t love you anymore and that I like someone else, I don’t I really don’t, I’m so sorry do you forgive me?’ And them simply agreeing to the compulsion to make you temporarily feel better, instead the method of ‘maybe it is a bad thought maybe it isn’t’ keeps your body at an anxious level about the thought but then moving onto a ‘let’s forget about it though and do something else’ forces the body to forget that anxiety in a healthier way that will rather than giving into the ocd. This won’t work immediately tho, you will be doing the distraction for ages and ages at first and still feel the anxiety and that is OK. you are bound to feel anxious over the thought and feel the need to confess, but you need to trust the process and your partner to help you both through this. I hope this helps xx

Username: anonymous1315anonymous1315

Date posted: 45w ago

It’s extremely hard not to confess as a compulsion, but it ultimately is a compulsion that will continue to give your OCD power. I’ve had a really difficult time balancing this with my partner. I never want to feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him everything in my brain, but the truth is so many things pop into my brain that I don’t have control over, but I do have control over ignoring them and not repeating them out loud- this gives the thoughts way less power. I have felt very overwhelmed, distressed, and alone at times and talking to a family member or my partner helps so much. But I try to keep it to things like “I’m having really scary thoughts I know they’re not true but I’m just really overwhelmed” and my boyfriend will know somewhat what’s going on without me actually having to say the content of anything. I get tons of anxiety over not telling him everything, but over time I’ve realized not confessing is so much better overall, before I was dealing with immense guilt over telling him every thought, and intense fear that he believed the thoughts were true. Now I sit with the anxiety and it sucks but it doesn’t feed my OCD. I will pray for you & I hope this helps!

Username: nicolemw

Date posted: 5y ago

Anybody else have a major problem with confessions in ROCD? How can I deal with the urge to confess every little thought to my boyfriend? It’s hurtful to him because I’m constantly telling him every minor interaction I’ve had that I can remember with another guy, telling him my doubts about our relationship, and lately I’ve even been telling him hurtful things I don’t even agree with as far as comparing him to people I’ve been with before and people I’m attracted to. It’s really wrong of me to say these things to him for the sole purpose of relieving my anxiety. Any advice?

Relationship OCD

Username: rosecoloredgirl

Date posted: 3y ago

need help or tips? i've been spiraling because i have confession compulsion and i have this fear that once my boyfriend finds out the themes of my OCD, he'll leave me. he loves me and tells me he'll always be by my side but before i kind of confessed that my mind kind of has his followers memorized because of compulsions i've performed before and he admitted that it slightly turned him off because "damn that's something else" but it wasn't a dealbreaker... can't help but think if he thinks that's something else then he is definitely gonna be turned off after he finds out about my POCD especially now it kind of involved his younger nephew or about Harm OCD or Pure O Really need help to overcome this. I have this urge to confess to him and try to make him understand to get that reassurance from him that even after knowing these he won't leave me but I also don't want to bc not a lot of people will understand or be comfortable about it esp we've only been together for a few months

Username: Alex0729

Date posted: 1y ago

Help! ROCD

Me and my Fiancé get married in 3 months. We have been together for almost 3yrs now. I started dealing with OCD and different subtypes around Mid 2022 without knowing it was OCD. (Im not officially diagnosed btw) Because I didn't know it was OCD for a long time all i did was confess and confess to my Fiancé, mainly things about my past some from my distant past and some from my more recent past. Eventually my OCD switched themes and all of sudden now i was having intrusive thoughts. Present intrusive thoughts that's when I learned about ROCD and I immediately felt identified. Anyways i was barely learning about compulsions and how to resist them so i was still not doing good regarding my confessions and i began to now confess my intrusive thoughts. Afterwards as OCD usually does i started obsessing over the most trivial things in my past, i started dealing with Real Event/False Memory OCD I confessed about that too. All the way to present time. I have gotten better at resisting my main compulsion which is confessing, yet i still fail from time to time. What has happened now is that my Fiancé is getting affected. She is the most patient, supportive & kind woman i have ever met. She is literally an angel from heaven and has been by my side through my/our darkest times. However lately she hasn't been feeling well. Due to our economical situation we've decided to move back to my hometown after the wedding. This is difficult for her of course because she has to leave behind. Family, Friends, her job and basically what has been her whole life till now. The thing is that she tell's me that all of that would be easier if she knew she was giving it up for something that's gonna last and she feels like my constant confessing and my intrusive thoughts is just me secretly telling her that I'm not sure about being with her. Keep in mind, she knows about my ROCD, I've explained it, we've read articles together, watched videos about it together. Even then she tells me to try to look at things from her side and how its not easy for her to deal with this change in her life and feel like she has to keep us together as well. I've also felt like OCD has changed who i am. I used to be confident, positive, spontaneous, detailed and romantic. Now all my energy seems to be focused on just getting through the day with my thoughts. So I understand that she hasn't been feeling swooned lately. Specially after so much time of me being the amazing boyfriend. I guess what im trying to figure out is how to deal with all of this. How do i deal with my ROCD and support my Fiancé at the same time. How can I reassure her i love her and that I don't have any doubts about being with her depsite what i feel or think. I don't mind my OCD hurting me or torturing me. But not her, i just want her to be happy. If anyone is going through something similar or has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Life is so hard.

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