Thoughts/images on purpose

I am having horrible thoughts on purpose and I don’t know why. I hate having them. Is it ocd related?

Vhperry

Date posted: 1y

It’s possible that ocd is convincing you that the thoughts are on purpose. One of the key components of ocd is that it loves to take intrusive thoughts that maybe most people have regularly and forces us to feel like we have to assign meaning to it. Sometimes that looks like having a “horrible thought” and then thinking that means we want it to happen or we are bad people. With ERP therapy you can start to work on letting thoughts happen without letting them feel sticky and meaningful.

borubi7

Date posted: 1y

But those thoughts not just POP up,they don’t happen all of sudden, I literally think them on purpose. But I don’t know why I do that. Because I hate it. These are disgusting thoughts.

24Lillie

Date posted: 1y

@birdsunflower1 Do you think maybe your checking if they’re still there? I do that sometimes when I realise I haven’t had any intrusive thoughts for a while and then it causes them to pop up and I feel quite guilty and at fault

borubi7

Date posted: 1y

@24Lillie - I actually don’t know. Maybe unconsciously. But I have no idea. I just do it 😭

sizzwu

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I go through the same thing. I have intrusive thoughts and then I have times where I know I could have avoided it but did it. I compare it to like a cat flicking around a dead mouse. Or like trying to not scratch a big bite. It’s awful. I hate it.

borubi7

Date posted: 1y

But I feel like these are not intrusive thoughts because I do them on purpose. I think them on purpose. Even though I don’t want to.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 25w

Self pleasure and intrusive thoughts :/

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh

POCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Ocd

I had a horrible thought and it was my own thought. I feel awful. Also my heart is racing all the time

Anonymous

Date posted: 11w

Can intrusive thoughts be intentional thinking

I wanted to ask if it is possible to purposely think of an intrusive thought and then shifting your mind instantly to something else? Is it still an intrusive thought if you have been thinking of it 'purposely' for a second? I dont know how else to explain it, but it felt like I was purposely thinking of it. Anyone else had similar experience what happened during intimate moments like masturbation I feel so ashamed cuz the thoughts are so bad they're either about family members children and stuff like that it feels like I think it I just want to know if I'm not alone I feel like a monster because it feels like I thought these things or like I did think these things and I don't know what to do I feel so ashamed and grossed I need help I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience to shed light on because I don't know I feel so isolated

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