feeling guilty for wanting other men to find me attractive or hot. im disgusted in myself for wanting it or for maybe acting in a way that was provocative when im in a relationship. i love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him. but why does my head get filled with thoughts and wants about ither men. i’m beating myself up over this. can anyone share some insight??
I can’t stress enough how much I relate to this! I’ve had countless sessions with my therapist trying to tackle this internal struggle. Wanting attention outside of my relationship. And loving it! Should I not try to make myself look good? Did I feed into someone’s compliment? Did I do something to make that person hit on me? What if I just couldn’t control myself one day and cheated? It gets to the point where I feel disgusted with myself and get the urge to end the relationship to protect him from my actions. Instead, I sit with the uncertainty. I throw out the maybes. Maybe I do love the attention, maybe I do feed into it, maybe I come off a little flirty sometimes and maybe deep down I wanted to! Maybe that’s okay, Maybe if my boyfriend saw everything on a video he’d feel weird about A, B, or C situation…maybe I’m completely normal, maybe most people do this, maybe I’m actually an incredible caring girlfriend who only has these concerns cause of how much I’d hate to hurt him. Nothing is black and white…embrace the unknown. If your actions became a problem, a scary thought I know, it would likely be made known to you and you’d deal with it then. You’d cope, you’d survive. I’m assuming that like me, if you found out you did something to hurt him it’d feel like the end of the world. You’d get past it!
This is all just human nature. I to love attention outside my relationship from other girls. There is nothing wrong with us. People will call us attention whores or whatever but it's just our personalities differ from theirs. As long as you aren't acting on the attention, there is nothing to feel guilty about.
your bf is the winner for having a gf that is beautiful and attracts a lot of attention. i dont think youre doing anything bad on purpose. it's inevitable that you'll draw attention when dressing nice and simply acknowledging that is healthy i think. overanalyzing and beating yourself for Supposedly wanting to attract attention only shows that you're truly faithful to your bf, but it still hurts to even Think of being unfaithful to him right? in this case the guilt is there to protect you cuz if it wasn't there, only then would it be a problem imo. anyways, God bless!
Fun new obsession! I worked under a TA who I thought was super hot. I was happily committed to my now husband, but at the time I still harbored a lot of attraction toward this man, to the point of occasionally fantasizing about him. I felt awful about it then and I feel bad about it now. I’m trying to rack my brain and make sure nothing inappropriate ever happened, I can remember hoping he thought I looked good and wanting him to think I was funny but I never did anything besides my work when I was with him. I’m convinced this makes me a bad person or even worse, that I’m destined to cheat on my husband. Other instances happened when I was drunk, never to the point of cheating thank god, but flirtations with other men. This hasn’t happened since I was a freshman in college as I stopped heavily drinking and realized how much I needed to work to be the best version of myself. I constantly feel guilty, like I need to atone for what happened. This is almost worse than the crippling HOCD I’ve been fighting. Please help❤️ and thanks if you made it this far lol
i saw someone triggers me A LOT. Looking at beautiful looking people has always triggered me. I feel horrible and i feel like i cheated. Finding someone handsome in a relationship is not normal to me i don't know i feel horrible and i feel like i cheated. I didn't feel attracted, but i feel like i cheated so much i hate myself i hate my eyes thats wht i don't look at anyone. I hate looking at people and finding someone beautiful. I feel so guilty. Please help me im begging i need to talk someone. I had this in past, i hate that when that happens. I DON'T want to find anyone good looking. I DON'T want to anyone come to my mind except my partner. I won't act on that thoughts but i feel like im betraying my partner anyway
i have a partner but almost every time i see a guy i have tingles or other body reactions or i think would i be with them? i also have thoughts about people from my past that i’ve been sexual with and some of the thoughts are sexual and flashbacks. this is causing a lot of problems for me and my partner i don’t know what to do. my partner gets insecure. i think about things like is this person better than my partner? did they satisfy me better? i compare and compare and i also have this thing where i confess and i’ve asked my partner if i should stop confessing even though i would probably feel guilty if i didn’t but they don’t want me to stop confessing or speaking how i think. i feel like i struggle with guilt aswell because i feel guilty for almost everything i do, sometimes things the normal person wouldn’t even think much about.
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