feeling guilty for wanting other men to find me attractive or hot. im disgusted in myself for wanting it or for maybe acting in a way that was provocative when im in a relationship. i love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him. but why does my head get filled with thoughts and wants about ither men. i’m beating myself up over this. can anyone share some insight??
I can’t stress enough how much I relate to this! I’ve had countless sessions with my therapist trying to tackle this internal struggle. Wanting attention outside of my relationship. And loving it! Should I not try to make myself look good? Did I feed into someone’s compliment? Did I do something to make that person hit on me? What if I just couldn’t control myself one day and cheated? It gets to the point where I feel disgusted with myself and get the urge to end the relationship to protect him from my actions. Instead, I sit with the uncertainty. I throw out the maybes. Maybe I do love the attention, maybe I do feed into it, maybe I come off a little flirty sometimes and maybe deep down I wanted to! Maybe that’s okay, Maybe if my boyfriend saw everything on a video he’d feel weird about A, B, or C situation…maybe I’m completely normal, maybe most people do this, maybe I’m actually an incredible caring girlfriend who only has these concerns cause of how much I’d hate to hurt him. Nothing is black and white…embrace the unknown. If your actions became a problem, a scary thought I know, it would likely be made known to you and you’d deal with it then. You’d cope, you’d survive. I’m assuming that like me, if you found out you did something to hurt him it’d feel like the end of the world. You’d get past it!
This is all just human nature. I to love attention outside my relationship from other girls. There is nothing wrong with us. People will call us attention whores or whatever but it's just our personalities differ from theirs. As long as you aren't acting on the attention, there is nothing to feel guilty about.
your bf is the winner for having a gf that is beautiful and attracts a lot of attention. i dont think youre doing anything bad on purpose. it's inevitable that you'll draw attention when dressing nice and simply acknowledging that is healthy i think. overanalyzing and beating yourself for Supposedly wanting to attract attention only shows that you're truly faithful to your bf, but it still hurts to even Think of being unfaithful to him right? in this case the guilt is there to protect you cuz if it wasn't there, only then would it be a problem imo. anyways, God bless!
i sexualize everything around me and its like no matter where i look im looking at someones chest or their butt or something like that and i dont even mean to and i hate it so much, and sometimes i cant even pull my eyes away and its people i dont even find attractive, even when they are “conventionally attractive” but when they are i feel so guilty because i love my boyfriend so much bc i dont want anybody but him so why do i keep doing this? i feel like i should be able to control my eyes and im just a perv with a bad excuse
i saw someone triggers me A LOT. Looking at beautiful looking people has always triggered me. I feel horrible and i feel like i cheated. Finding someone handsome in a relationship is not normal to me i don't know i feel horrible and i feel like i cheated. I didn't feel attracted, but i feel like i cheated so much i hate myself i hate my eyes thats wht i don't look at anyone. I hate looking at people and finding someone beautiful. I feel so guilty. Please help me im begging i need to talk someone. I had this in past, i hate that when that happens. I DON'T want to find anyone good looking. I DON'T want to anyone come to my mind except my partner. I won't act on that thoughts but i feel like im betraying my partner anyway
i’m very aware that one of my main compulsions is confessing/seeking repentance, specifically from my boyfriend. however i can never seem to get past this one specific event from my past. to sum it up, i remember while having me time (if yk what i mean) i kept having random ppl that i know in my daily life popping into my head and sexual images of them kept coming in as well. i felt like i couldn’t fully control it which makes me think it was OCD and i didn’t know it at the time. however, a specific person that kept coming to mind is now standing out to me. i would be lying if i said he was not an attractive person, but i would never in a million years actually want to be with him in any way. i love my boyfriend with every fiber in me and i am confident i would never do anything to jeopardize that. the thing is that since i know i found him attractive at the time i am struggling with my intentions behind those thoughts i was having about him. although its out of character i wonder if it was real thoughts and not just intrusive. it feels like a cycle of me trying to figure it out and i feel so incredibly guilty at times over it that i feel as though i should confess this to my boyfriend. this happened over a year ago and this person is no longer even in my life but i still can’t shake it. is this something i would need to confess to him or is it just my OCD taking? also, something that feeds into my obsessing over this is that i remember distinctly trying to make sure i looked okay when i was around this person in the past. not in a way that i wanted him, but just that i didn’t want him to think i was ugly or anything. i don’t think this is uncommon to want to look good in front of an attractive person, but at the same time i wonder if i was seeking attention for the wrong reasons or something. it’s just so conflicting bc it’s very out of character for me.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
