How to prepare for an exposure?

I really think you should go to a therapist to teach you techniques before you start exposures. I've learned a lot in therapy about things that I didn't even know were OCD and things I didn't even know I was doing when I was triggered. A therapist can equip you with tools so you can navigate your way through the anxiety when you are triggered as well.

Sorry this is so long I'm terrible at summarizing so I hope this makes sense. But this is just what I do around my exposure work Idk if it will help because it can look different for everyone. But I write out my fears just like you did here and aknowledge the fears without judgement as much as possible. I can be very unkind to myself in my head and I'm working to change that script. I also aknowledge the fact that the unknown is scary. And remember all humans hold inherent worth. There are good and bad actions but not good or bad people. People can choose bad actions but they are still human. For me my ocd is looking for any terrible act that would cause me to abandon myself. Reminding myself that I will have my back regardless is key for me. I'm still new to my journey with understanding my ocd and Its a struggle. I also remind myself that my brain is grabbing onto beliefs that I hold. A lot of my intrusive thoughts and compulsions are tied to morals and the idea of being a good or bad person. I'm still opening the door to understanding rather than just using obsessive compulsive behaviors to feed into my own cycle and thought loops. My brain is picking the thing it knows is going to bother me the most and it's usually also the thing I'm probably least likely to do. But I have to accept those fears and remind myself I'm not gonna abandon myself. These are often bad actions but bad actions do not equate to bad person good actions do not equal good person either. Also I learned about a vulnerability hangover so sometimes when I share something or feel like I've been vulnerable I shame spiral and last night I was able to process a very vulnerable moment on my exposure journey and I have avoided the shame spiraling by being kind and reminding myself I love myself no matter what. A certain level of shame and guilt are normal and healthy. I also try to set time limits as much as possible when I need to process the exposure. And when the thoughts come up to bug me I remind myself I will make time to process them later but now is not a good time. All of these things have helped my ocd not need to compulsively check in as often. Maybe the exposure will create space for understanding for yourself and others. Sometimes it helps to hear different perspectives. Try to accept the unknow. I know its hard work! I'm wishing you the best of luck!

I also agree seeing a therapist is a good idea. It's a lot to take in and they can help a lot. My therapist has helped me throughout my journey.