- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Uh, I remember when hocd first hit me all I can think about were scenarios with women. I would nearly cry, it was so painful. I remember sitting in my closet , so angry and crying. Not knowing what I did to feel this pain, it was really the worst. I didn’t want to think about these things, it felt so real I hated it. You’ll be okay, you need to stop comparing your own OCD to others. It’s not always going to be the same, we’re all different. Stay calm, find someone close to talk to. That helped with me. I hope it can help with you, you’re strong and you’ll get through this. We all will get through this.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you both so much. You have no idea how nice it is for me to be able to tell people what’s going on. Hope you’re both doing well.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Listen , whatever you are going through can change and it can change faster than you think. Reading this makes me very sad and I feel horrible for you that you’re going through this , but you don’t have to go through it alone. I may not know you personally but I care a lot about you and I want the best for you !! ❤️ Harming yourself may seem to help in the moment but it becomes a compulsion and can really damage you in the long run. Please speak to someone , you truly deserve it !! I’m always here if you need anything , so if you ever need to talk you can hmu on Instagram @xiiiandreww ! Hope you feel better ASAP :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Girl, you are so strong for being open about what your are going through! OCD is hell, but you seem to be strong. We believe in you! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
It is okay we need to vent sometimes :) Ive been in the same boat of not feeling like I can relate to people who have ocd anymore. Also that feeling of emptiness and not being able to cry. Please don't harm yourself and you should see an ocd specialist. I wish you the best and hope you get better.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
So, I don't know if anyone's going to comment on this post, but I've been doing pretty badly lately. I suffered from a second relapse of OCD around nearly a year ago, back when I first experienced OCD, I had all the symptoms, researching, crying none-stop, suicidal, etc, but now that it's been almost four years of this same theme. It doesn't feel nearly as bad anymore? It's almost like it brings me happiness??? I see people saying with confidence that they'd never do their intrusive thoughts but I can't agree with them, I'm not confident I won't do them, a few years ago, I'd say I'd NEVER do them and I would rather kill myself before doing them but now I can't say it. I don't know what's going on anymore and what makes it worse I think is that my feelings are all over the place, a part of me wants to give up while the other part of me is still fighting and I'm crying right now as I write this but I don't even know if I'm scared. Sometimes I just let myself "enjoy" the intrusive thoughts because I'm so tired and everytime I look at a reddit post about someone saying that they felt guilty for enjoying an intrusive thought, I don't feel that same emotion, and I keep researching and researching. It doesn't feel like OCD anymore. I can't even say I'm scares for the right reasons, my brain keeps telling me that I'm only scared because I don't want others to look down on me and the truth is that I actually "enjoy" the thoughts and I simply don't want to be looked down upon on society. I don't know what to do, I want to go in the bathroom and cry until I disappear
- Date posted
- 18w
Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(
- Date posted
- 16w
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
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