- Username
- b13
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Uh, I remember when hocd first hit me all I can think about were scenarios with women. I would nearly cry, it was so painful. I remember sitting in my closet , so angry and crying. Not knowing what I did to feel this pain, it was really the worst. I didn’t want to think about these things, it felt so real I hated it. You’ll be okay, you need to stop comparing your own OCD to others. It’s not always going to be the same, we’re all different. Stay calm, find someone close to talk to. That helped with me. I hope it can help with you, you’re strong and you’ll get through this. We all will get through this.
Thank you both so much. You have no idea how nice it is for me to be able to tell people what’s going on. Hope you’re both doing well.
Listen , whatever you are going through can change and it can change faster than you think. Reading this makes me very sad and I feel horrible for you that you’re going through this , but you don’t have to go through it alone. I may not know you personally but I care a lot about you and I want the best for you !! ❤️ Harming yourself may seem to help in the moment but it becomes a compulsion and can really damage you in the long run. Please speak to someone , you truly deserve it !! I’m always here if you need anything , so if you ever need to talk you can hmu on Instagram @xiiiandreww ! Hope you feel better ASAP :)
Girl, you are so strong for being open about what your are going through! OCD is hell, but you seem to be strong. We believe in you! ❤️
It is okay we need to vent sometimes :) Ive been in the same boat of not feeling like I can relate to people who have ocd anymore. Also that feeling of emptiness and not being able to cry. Please don't harm yourself and you should see an ocd specialist. I wish you the best and hope you get better.
Hey y’all i need to know if someone relates to what I’m going through. I feel almost like if I wanted to act on my thoughts but I actually don’t because this doesn’t please me at all. So if someone told me “You have Harm OCD” I would be like “really? So I don’t wanna harm people? Neither am I capable?” I have no clue why would that be my answer when I haven’t desired anything. But somehow it makes me feel like I do, and consequently makes me feel like I’m in denial. So it feels like if an unconscious part of me wants to do it but I am just resisting. I literally can’t go anywhere, I don’t wanna live any second more, because I feel so disturbed all the time. I feel like I’m gonna end up doing it, I feel so overwhelmed by these feelings,thoughts, images, urges, that I would avoid everything, like going anywhere. I hate feeling like this but I feel like there’s no way back, i can’t picture myself being good in the future because I feel like “this is what i want” when it’s not. I feel like it’s a time bomb for me to do something. I do not tolerate this, every minute that passes by I feel it closer to happen. I feel like I’m gonna collapse and act on it. I don’t even know if that’s what I want, but I don’t think it is, I think it just feels like it. Help I don’t know what to do.
Today has been awful thoughts. It’s just getting worse and it feels like real thoughts and feelings even though I’ve been fighting it. I wish I could explain how bad it is to my parents. How do you tell anyone you’re having horrible horrible thoughts of sexually harming others and other terrible things?And there’s events from my past that make me not want to do anything because I feel like I deserve to be jailed. I’m worried I won’t be able to get a job because I can’t act like a normal person, or learn to drive. My mom said I need something to keep my occupied, find some classes to take. And she’s right but I’m worried I can’t even focus on that and again I feel like it’s a waste because I feel like I deserve to be in jail. I’m 21 I feel like such a failure. I don’t know how to get help, I really feel like I don’t want to live anymore, it feel like the only way out. But I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want my family to feel at fault. I don’t have any diagnosis so it just all feels too real. It’s CONSTANT thoughts about harming others. It feels real, it sounds proud and almost like it’s mocking in my head. I feel like I’m voluntarily thinking these things. I don’t understand why this has happened and why it’s gotten so bad. I know in my heart I have ZERO desire to be this person. I’m sorry I keep posting so much, it’s just so difficult.
I feel really lost in life, I don’t recognize my self, I’m 23 years old and about a year and a half ago my HARM OCD started and it’s all I think about all day, I have this weird feeling. I know it gets better because it got better about a year ago but this time it came back stronger, I don’t what to do, like I know I don’t want to become this person but my brain is telling me that I won’t get better and to not get therapy nor do anything to make it better because I am a bad person. I want a happy life without these thoughts. I have the most disturbing thoughts and I just feel sick all the time and I don’t know how I’m able to live like this. It’s been a month since it came back and I’ve been surviving somehow. I can’t even look someone in the eyes because my ocd will say that I wanna hurt them and I desire it but I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME THIS PERSON. I hope it gets better because I’m afraid going to hurt my self in order for my thought to end since it will be the only way to protect others.
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