Today I’m feeling very down. I lost my grandpa early this morning and I saw him before he passed, it was extremely scary and stressful. Seeing his body and being able to hear his lungs dying is so permanently etched in my brain I’m starting to obsessions/compulsions I haven’t had in years and it feels so so awful. I can feel my lungs and I’m obsessing over my own health now and it’s so scary, I’ve healed myself from that and now it’s back.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief can cause an extreme amount of stress and ocd is triggered by that. Be kind to yourself and don't feel bad about feeling like this. Do what you can and remember how you recovered last time when you're a bit calmer. Take care of yourself
@Wolfram You can also see a healthcare provider or a therapist for extra support. So sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry ❤️ I lost my mom a year ago this coming June, 5 days after my baby turned 6 months. Had a very similar experience in terms of being traumatized by the lung and breathing thing. The stress of it caused my most recent flare up which lead to a proper ocd diagnosis. Full body panic attacks constantly where I feel like I can't breathe, cant be alone with my baby, or alone period. It's been so hard. Started ERP a few weeks ago. Some things feel easier but the journey is long. So sorry you're going through it.
i'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa and what you're going through right now. it's completely understandable that such a traumatic experience would bring back old obsessions and fears, especially in a moment that's already so heavy with grief. you're incredibly strong for facing this, even when it feels like you're backsliding. by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck?" when i was going through a really tough time, similar to what you're experiencing, my NOCD therapist recommended "unstuck" (unstuckmyOCD.com/try) to me, and it was a game-changer. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized step-by-step support during these challenging moments, acting almost like an OCD therapist in your pocket. it's free and could be a great support as you navigate through these feelings and obsessions about health. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3
I actually have this app and it is genuinely such a game-changer for me when Im really struggling too, great rec
I suffered for a really long time (approx 2 years) with Real Event/False Memory ROCD. This led to a long period of chronic guilt, rumination, mental review and confessing. I sought help last year and finally realised I had OCD (hurrah) and wasn’t totally losing my mind. I felt as though I was (prior to diagnosis) when I told my therapist… “no matter what, I’m having the same thought over and over and every time I think I’ve found a way out of it, it comes back”. I felt really suicidal and could not see my way out of it for a while. I found a lot of help online with Instagram which led me to finding NOCD and a number of their therapists. I actually started NOCD therapy last year and was finally ridding myself of these horrible shackles and seeing that my life didn’t have to be defined by memories, mistakes and fears. However, unfortunately I fell ill and a number of life changing events happened (lost a beloved pet, was in and out of hospital, my stepdad became seriously ill and hospitalised) so I gave up therapy for the time being. Since, I’ve found myself distracted from my fears, I suppose I had a new theme to focus on (my health), I’d not realised it had become compulsive but I suppose it had. Anyway, it’s been a few months and I am still unwell but finding a way around it. I also have some great news in my life, I found out I’m pregnant and am beginning a new chapter in my life and am adapting to the changes and fears that come with that. Unfortunately 2 days ago I was floored by my old obsessions, back with vengeance with none of my old tools able to help again. I’m catching myself ruminating, I am noticing old patterns of mental review returning, here I am with that gut wrenching fear in my stomach constantly and words on my tongue ready to confess to things I may or may not have done (who knows!?). I feel so unprepared for this return of old fears… I thought I’d done well and almost become un-fearful again? I’m not sure where to go from here, I’ve enquired about some ERP again and am taking those steps. I’ve grabbed my old OCD books and am ready to remind myself to step out of those cycles. But I can’t help but feel devastated that the same old scary patterns have grabbed me again. Anyone have any top tips for coping in the meantime whilst arranging some ERP again 🪴
Hi all! I’m experiencing a bit of a relapse after thinking I had it all figured out! I think that I was actually avoiding a lot of things and not really putting that much pressure on myself to do ERP and accept uncertainty that I allowed what was a small ball of thoughts to turn into a life shattering obsession again. I’m feeling a little discouraged, and constantly questioning the meaning of existence again. This always happens when life gets hard and I lose my footing, I question the whole world and become dangerously obsessive and it makes me suicidal. I also feel like I forgot all my tools, or I’m scared that my ERP skills won’t work anymore because I thought I got rid of it so that means it’s back to stay. I just was wondering if I could have some encouragement and reminders on how to best approach this situation and stay positive. No reassurance pls 🙏🏼
I’ve been doing really well the past few months. I’ve been consistent with ERP therapy and other exercises to help manage my OCD. However, something triggered my OCD to come back in full force last week and while I know that the journey to recovery isn’t linear, and I know that this is something I will always have to work on, it’s been very disheartening and it feels like all the progress I’ve made has been for nothing. It’s exhausting and I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts that I will never get better again. Anyone else relate?
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