the minute I wake up it’s like a sense of impending doom. I immediately get thoughts like “ur a p, im a p, it’s inevitable, ur hiding behind an ocd mask” and it feels so real. I also get groinal responses and everything feels so real, like I AM ONE. and sometimes im too tired to even stop the thoughts so it just keeps going and my body and brain feels like it agrees and im just a p. idk what to do:(
I have the exact same problem. And the advice I would offer is letting the thoughts and feelings come. Accept them. Imagine you’ve got a cold, one of the symptoms is a runny nose. Now say your ocd is a virus, and these are just your symptoms. They mean nothing about you. Acceptance of the thoughts isn’t agreeing. But the more you try and push the thoughts away they harder they fight against it! Try watching Nathan Petersons channel on YouTube called ‘ocd and anxiety’, he explains it wonderfully! You can do this and I believe in you ☺️
Oh my gosh darling I have/had this too. I speak of it in the past tense because it doesn’t impact me as much as it used to and I’m well on my way out of it. The thing is we focus too heavily on getting rid of it because it’s so hard to bare. Sometimes I’ll get up in the morning and an intrusive thought will pop in to say “don’t forget your a P” and I just laugh and say yeah maybe but not today. If you try and push they will come back even stronger, so the alternative is to just accept that at the moment your having some really uncomfortable thoughts and your just going to let them be. It’s all OCD doesn’t matter whether is POCD. HOCD, COCD, ROCD. It acts the same way and it’s all relevant. Please just hold on, there is hope and you can 100% do this. You’ve been fighting hard but just putting your effort in the wrong direction x
I’m actually not I’ve done a heap of research I’ve had this theme for 6 months I bought an ocd help book and became dedicated to do what needed to be done not just for me but for my husband and kids. It’s tried to take the thing that’s most important to me and I flat right refuse. Deep down I know who I am and who I’ve always been, I am a good person and would rather die than do what ocd says I am. It’s not going to win against me. Getting better meant facing it head on, I was open and willing to do what ever the videos taught me. 6 months on I am lot better! By understanding how OCD works just cemented the FACT that I value children and their safety, always have always will! I was always the maternal one of all my friends, first to have a baby. My kids are my life, motherhood is a mental illness x x
Are you seeing a therapist?
@KeerenJialal Only a regular one:(
thank you all for ur comments. ocd is hard. im trying to keep going it’s hard. i hate this battle with my mind. and im not really a kid type of person, i like playing with them sometimes, and also i want to be a parent but its not a strong want/need. i do get sad and disturbed when i hear crimes/bad things that are done to kids. but me not being a “kids” person and not really paying any mind to them makes me feel i am a p, since I don’t want to be a mom that bad. everytime I think about having kids I have thoughts that I am a p and I can’t have them or I will hurt them :(
@co140 I can honestly say I am dealing with the EXACT same problems. I swear down to a T you feel how I feel. I KNOW it’s awful. But you can do this. Seriously, watch ALI GREYMOND on YouTube as well. Her and Nathan Petersons channels have saved my life. You can do it because I can do it ❤️
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking x
@lubrad89 i am going to be 20 next year
Your very young, and in no way is that patronising, your still in an area of your life where is life is all about you and what you want it to be. Motherhood isn’t for every one and that’s ok too, not everyone has the instinct desire to be a mother, they want to do other things, and why not? I mean your life is pretty restricted when you have kids. Worst part of POCD was damaging my relationship with my kids and I thought that’s it forever I don’t want to be a mother, but through erp I’m able to very happily mother them and find joy in the moments I thought were lost forever. You will move past this, remember your not a bad person, thoughts are thoughts nothing more or less, thoughts and actions are so far apart in our brains that actions only happen is willingly and wanting done so. I will only say this once a ‘p’ does not have the inner dialogue that someone with POCD has, the fact that the shear thought of anything of that nature petrified them is evident to that. In actual fact your the furthest thing from a ‘p’ there could possibly be. All we’ve done is tell our brains that it’s important because it got such a reaction from it from the very first themed thought, following that you probably tried your hardest to push it away time and time again, then all OCD does is times it by 10 every time and sends the same thought back and create new ones, as said before this is not reassurance just fact xxx
@loubr80 thank you for this comment. it helped a lot. I use to have so much anxiety over my pocd but it’s happened for so long I barely have any. it scares me more when I don’t have anxiety .
Don’t be now your just thinking like everyone else with or without ocd xxx
constant thoughts even during alone time of “just accept u are a p, say it, accept it” and it feels so real and I have the urge to say it and try to accept it (ive tried to do it before and it sent me down a spiral of shame and worry) I really hate this. I feel so weird and out of place always and I feel like a fraud who’s in denial that they are a p.
can’t see anything on social media about kids ill immediately get intrusive thoughts and groinal responses and thoughts like “u are a p, u can’t have kids because u are a p” and it genuinely feels like im destined to be a p. like impending doom. that no more what i do i am one and i can’t change or stop it. does anyone feel like this? can it get this bad? my brain feels convinced and it’s like whenever i say im not my body gets all uncomfy and then the groinal responses come. i hate this. am i a p? if i am one i want to get help. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I would rather be gone then be a p but if I am one the least I could do is get help for it but im stuck between ocd and this. what if im just a fraud hiding behind ocd
literally randomly through the day ill worry “are u a p?” Or my brain tells me I am one and it actually feels like I am one. I get these groinal responses immediately after and get the urge to self soothe. that is a bad compulsion of mine. I really hate this. my mind goes straight to p related things for EVERYTHING it doesn’t even have to be kid related but somehow my brain does and finds connections in anything about me being a “p” im really scared i am one. i have no “proof” besides these thoughts, urges, and sensations and compulsions, which i feel like is enough proof and i should search for help for being a p.
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