- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes, absolutely. I'm in the same boat.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes. And actually, I’ve had the same themes in practically the same order as you. You’re not alone! Can you find an OCD specialist to work with? I think you’ll see a lot more relief that way. For what it’s worth: every time I’ve accepted my intrusive thoughts as true, they’ve gone away. I accepted that I was gay, then I quickly realized I wasn’t. Right now I’m accepting that I’m trans. And the more I do it, the more I feel like a woman again. When it comes to ROCD, I once accepted that a relationship was wrong and broke up with him. Quickly after I could finally see/feel all that was right. Accept that you’re a lesbian! Not because you are, but because your intrusive thoughts only survive when you fight them. Whenever a trigger comes up that makes you feel gay: be gay! “Of course I just looked at that girl, after all, I am a lesbian in the closet. She’s so pretty! I’m glad I can accept that now.” And move on. “Believing” our thoughts often feels like the absolute last thing we want to do, especially because we convince ourselves that that’s the step that will make them finally “true”, but it’s actually a bizarre paradox that can actually free us.
- Date posted
- 5y
Omg I just tried your technique and it made me feel kind of normal again ? like the second I said "well obviously you're looking at her, it's cause your a lesbian" the idea that it was true was suddenly lifted. How can It be that simple??? Once you say that to yourself, is it normal that thoughts come back and make you anxious again? How long did this practise take you in order to actually feel normal again?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much again! ♥️
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for the insight! But I don't necessarily want to leave my boyfriend and out him through that hardship just because I'm "testing out my feelings". I want to be able to grow while still being in a secure and healthy relationship :) but thank you, I will try the accepting the thoughts as they are thing and see how it works. It's kind of scary to do ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I was definitely not suggesting you break up with him! I should have clarified that my approach in that case was a mistake but ultimately it stopped my ROCD theme. This was before I was diagnosed, so I still wasn’t sure what was going on or how to fix anything. I should have let the thoughts be without upending my relationship. By simply accepting them I could have overcome the theme itself. And I’m glad the technique worked! The thoughts will probably come back again because they’ve been on loop for so long it’s a habit, but keep it up! It can take a few weeks to really settle in and there may be some ups and down but you’ll notice a big difference over time.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 6w
Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think
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