Anyone with HOCD ever get stuck on a friend and think you are in love with them? Then it might calm down but the thoughts are “you really like them” or something else that makes you think you are in love with them?

Great constructive criticism Uzro!✊? I have dealt with HOCD for years now and I actually worked hard enough to diminish it for sometime, but now it is back (due to a relationship change, life changes etc). You are 100% right. I reassured for YEARS and hid from my scary obsessions and take it from me it did nothing until I faced them. Yes, it came back. But I know what works because I saw it first hand! Exposure therapy got me to where I am today and learning about how my brain works different than others who do not struggle with OCD. Currently in my OCD treatment I have moved on to tackling the anxiety that fuels or kickstarts the OCD through mindfulness. So, start and hit it head on with exposure. That’s the core and most bothersome part. Give it time. Put the work in. Don’t expect immediate results. I took two years to become a new man with all this shit. 2 years of therapy to finally say that I am always present even when OCD tries to break me.

What breaks my heart the most is knowing that to be cured you have to tolerate the gay thoughts and you have to let them to you don't over do it just relax becuase what else can you do you can't stop the tought right so why not show it the middle finger and go on with your day it will help little by little fight that little bastard and the positivity will win .

Well I hope you notice that what you just did there is part of the fueling system that ocd lives on, “I don’t why I have this” checking “always loved woman’s” more checking “ “trying to find somebody recovery stories” more checking (even though they are many and I’m not going tell which are them because I will reassuring you). Bro I hope you seeing why is sticking for long, I’m not trying to be demeaning but it sound like reassurance to me. Nobody realize their sexual identity they just lean into what is natural for them (even if it is scary).

I appreciate you pointing all that out. It does make sense.

Me!

Yeah I’ve been there

So what was your method of coping and defeating the thoughts?

Don’t

Don’t try, you will never win ever. I’m sorry bro, but you will never know, I tried I honestly did but I couldn’t find the answer, the feeling, the hope, that these thoughts that tormented me all day long and even in my dreams would go away, but didn’t and I’m in the process of accepting that, and let me tell you today may be hocd but tomorrow it might be poco, rock, tocd, so ocd whatever it is, is ocd. Hope you stay strong and let yourself be gay (in your head) even if is just a small percentage of you or whatever it is, and live with the uncertainty and your values. Sorry bro, I know this is not what you brain wants to hear.

For sure, I get it. I’ve battled most subtypes (ROCD, POCD, Harm, Contamination) and for some reason this one seems to stick or have stuck the longest. Why, I have no clue as I’m not homophobic and I’ve loved women since I can remember. Just tired of the torment and he’s unfortunate as when someone recovers or finds a way to cope and move on, they don’t use the app anymore or talk online about how they’ve gotten through it. Lack of success stories, whether it’s HOCD or someone realizing their gay/lesbian/Bi/anything with this type of mental behavior is discouraging.

? thanks man! I’m in the same phase. I have to find out what’s driving my anxiety and stress (more than likely work) as it’s not the thoughts that start my anxiety/panic anymore.

Again there is nothing you can possibly know about what is driving your anxiety and stress, carrying on with no knowing what could be the driver of, it is huge. I hope you can see the pattern not the theme fuck themes, they are trash.

@uzro I respectfully disagree. In the past I’ve found certain outside situations that I’m not handling correctly spark my stress and anxiety which fuels my OCD. The last biggest one was taking on a job I thought I wasn’t ready for and expecting perfection (a huge anxiety and stress booster). Once I was able to calm myself of that and get to the “f*ck it” point, the severity of how I felt about my intrusive thoughts went down as I didn’t have the extra stress. This is how my OCD works about 75% of the time with an outside influence kicking my stress up and then me obsessing on an intrusive thought that came out of no where. This is why I’ve been stuck with the HOCD theme.

Well again, I’m really not trying to be rude, I just want try to help you and I know is hard, extremely stupid hard. it seems that you have forgotten that ocd comes in different flavors it could be thoughts, and it could be feelings as well. Intrusive feelings are a huge part of it, yes there are stressors in our life that up the scales on intrusiveness. But feelings such as stress come in ocd dresses too, hope you can see the pattern of what you do when whatever comes to your life trying to fight it internally, just fuel it even more. And that’s what in my opinion, you just said back there. And trust me I know is hard, but get closer to it one step a time and you will get to it