I can’t believe I did it!!!

Hey everyone, just wanted to say that I conquered something really big with my OCD yesterday and I feel really proud about myself. I told the person I’m most close with about my ROCD and she was so understanding of it and we talked a lot about what she could do to help me when I get into one of those moods where it’s really obvious that I’m trying to more or less ‘interrogate’ her (Don’t worry it’s not by giving reassurance I talked to her about that). All this really helps me because a lot of the time after I have an ROCD type of mood swing it can trigger my Harm OCD and I think I’ve really hurt her and that what I do might cause her to self harm and all of this so it’s not a good cycle at all. I’m not trying to flaunt my success by no means and the reason why I’m saying this is because for once in a really long time I feel proud of myself and happy that I was able to take the first big step in dealing with my ROCD For anybody out there who thinks that they can’t get help or talk about their feelings, stop it. If I can do it (The person who’s incredibly introverted and has big trust issues) you can do it. I believe in all of you that you can all have success no matter how big or small it may seem it’s still progress. Have a wonderful day folks and remember to take care of yourself ?

Today it happened. I got out the prison of my mind for the past 4 years. 1 year of therapy and today IT FUCKING HAPPENED. I came out of MY IMPOSSIBLE I am even scared to say it knowing that I will doubt it or remember how I got trapped in the first place. BUT IM FUCKING OUT GUYS. I MADE IT OUT TO THE OTHER SIDE AND I FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN. WOW. I sill never thought this was possible.

Today went, actually really good??!! Didn't have any attacks at all and I was so sure I would because thinking about the trip had been making me anxious for days. I'm really glad I didn't give in and sit this out. We went to the mall and got some food, which another thing my OCD avoids. Though, it's kind of weird but a small part of me was kind of disappointed that nothing did happened, I was so ready to take on the challenge but since I didn't have an attack I feel like there was no growth. There were a couple of times felt a small amount of anxiety creeping up on me but it was for a brief moment. Someone on here had told me that you have to train yourself into wanting the panic attack to happen and be in the moment, so I guess that's what my brain was so stuck on. Of course, I still had a wonderful time and I'm excited to continue on with my journey. It's definitely frightening, but worth it. I see it as a journey to start relying and trusting myself!