soocd or no

I think I can help with this! I’m going through something similar. I started questioning my sexuality at a very young age—my first kiss was a girl and I had asked my parents at 5 years old if I could marry a woman. Maybe too early to be definitive—but the doubts remained with me. I’ve never been largely attracted to men, to the point I was actually a lot more comfortable around them in college. A pretty girl would intimidate the crap out of me though. Maybe it’s because of trauma with bullying, but maybe also my sexuality? I haven’t figured it out, still. Now my partner, my lovely partner. He’s everything to me. I’m madly in love with him. He unfortunately carries trauma from two previous relationships where both girlfriends left him for women. So I’ve thought a lot about this. A lot. I think the comment you had on yesterday’s post answered this perfectly—the possibility of hurt in a relationship always exists. The possibility that you may be lesbian does exist. But that would never, EVER change or diminish the relationship you had built and the love you had for your partner. There’s a lot of pressure in modern day to discover and embrace one’s sexuality. This is technically a good thing—but it can also complicate relationships to a point where it feels like perfect knowledge is a NECESSITY and that to be in uncertainty is wrong or bad. And, therefore, we should explore and not commit until we are certain. But certainty is not really a human thing, we are always subject to change. OCD wouldn’t exist if life was this certain! 😅 I respect those that want to be single and explore, and I commend those who commit. Because think about it—say you are bisexual. What’s going to change? You are still, at the end of the day, going to commit to a person from a pool of people, male or female. Whether I’m bisexual or not, my commitment to my partner doesn’t change. If I want to end that commitment, I can. I don’t need to be lesbian or bisexual to do that. But I choose not to. Why? Because HE is my sexuality, he is my choice. Right now, I choose him. I don’t need to go out and explore to know whether or not I want him, I DO WANT him. I don’t need to see if the grass is green or not, I know I want him bc I chose him. The body CAN lie, but not too much and not too easily. If I didn’t want him I wouldn’t be able to stand with him, hold his hand. Sometimes it’s just that simple.

it’s okay to be confused and it’s okay to be questioning while you have a boyfriend! you might be a lesbian, you might not be a lesbian, i think what matters is if you love your boyfriend! sexuality is very fluid, it’s okay to not have it figured out. if you’re like me, the answer will come to you on some random day and you’ll just know. i’m wishing you luck

you're not alone! I know that its easy believing that you're the exception and the only one going through that and that no one gets you! But we do! what I try to do in these situation is live day by day! sometimes it works and other times it doesnt! but its a good start! Sometimes I tell myself everyone's love is different which relaxes me for a bit before I start thinking that I'm just convicing myself of that to make myself feel better and not accept "the real me" and the fact that I'm gay and in denial! Just try to take it one day at a time! I really relate because I too have a bf that I love ( I think/hope). I think that I previoulsy replied to one of your posts as well!