Update: She’s not responding

Hopefully the algorithm pins my previous post on the bottom, but my friend of 14 years has suddenly stopped talking to me completely. It’s caused me great distress and I cannot stop checking my phone and asking people for reassurance on this situation. I’ve had chest pains and headaches, and I feel sick to my stomach. I’ve done nothing to her. But since I started social media, she’s been ignoring me. My friends (and partner) all say to cut her off and that she’s trying to punish me out of jealousy bc of my recent looks (I’ve been told I’ve had a substantial glow up) and my success with art online (she’s a photographer). Birthdays were considered our traditional day to catch up, we never missed birthdays. She ignored me, but she DID post her other friends and a party on social media. Here are the texts I’ve sent in the past few days. At what point do I call it quits? Should I just block her? I cant even relax, this is on my mind constantly.

Relationship OCD

Username: stxrmadsstxrmads

Date posted: 27w ago

as someone who has had a friend suddenly cut them off, closure doesn't help or make it better. one day randomly my friend made their boyfriend (who was also my friend) message me and say they both would never be speaking to me again and it hurt me so much that I kept asking the friend why and eventually they gave me some bull shit reason and they both cut me off for good. a good year or two after, the friend messaged me and told me they had broken up and when I asked why after all this time they decided to message me they said "I just thought you should know." and with that we never spoke again. the boyfriend did and has made attempts to have multiple conversations with me about how sorry he was and he made mistakes while he was in the relationship and shouldn't have listened to them about cutting me off when i didnt do anything, but once you accept that you don't want the kind of friend in your life who would cut you off without a second thought, you gain so much self respect and perspective. if this friend isn't willing to communicate any issues they have with you after multiple attempts of you reaching out to them, especially if they are doing this to just you and they are remaining connected to the other people in their life, it's probably time to just let it be, and whatever happens will happen!

Username: ChibeeChibee

Date posted: 27w ago

@stxrmads Thank you, you pieced my feelings together so well—it’s absolutely the fact she is unwilling to communicate with me, despite us both being adults, all while she continues her other friendships. I feel like I’m experiencing trauma from high school, where I had to beg for people’s friendship. I didn’t want to sound stuck up in my post, but I respect myself too much for this and I personally didn’t want to keep trying. I’m past the age of catering to people. But she’s been one of the most important people in my life; I didn’t want to lose her. But I feel so incredibly disrespected. And scared. I don’t like how she put me through this. And how she thinks herself too valuable to lend me an explanation. I think fourteen years of friendship is worthy of an explanation! 😭 But you are absolutely right, crappy people will do crappy things because they think they’re above decency. I’m sorry to hear you’ve endured this as well. No one should have to lose a friend through suffering like this. Thank you so much for responding, you’ve helped clear my head on this—you’re right. I don’t deserve this. I will continue my actions accordingly… Also I saw you responded to my comment on your post and I will respond back! My brain has been in such a fog over this I had trouble doing much else, but I will get back to you. Take care!!! ♥️

Username: stxrmadsstxrmads

Date posted: 27w ago

@chibiyu It's not easy to make tough decisions, even if people put you in the position where you have only one choice. I wish you the best of luck !! :)

Username: TerryLee2217TerryLee2217

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

Ah yes this happened to me on my 20th birthday. I know it hurts, try not to overthink it or blame yourself. Some people will unfortunately just do this to you without explanation. Even if they've been friends with you forever

Username: ChibeeChibee

Date posted: 27w ago

@TerryLee2217 Part of me keeps asking, what if it’s a misunderstanding!? What if she doesn’t mean it!!? But I do believe my message was clear enough, and her silence is also pretty damning…Combined w her activity on social media, I know she’s seen it. :/ Your twentieth birthday, though…What an awful time. They did that to you deliberately on a special day to punish you….That infuriates me.

Username: ChibeeChibee

Date posted: 27w ago

@chibiyu The weird thing is—she still follows me on social media? And I’m still in her following. why does she still browse my stories if she wants nothing to do with me?

Username: TerryLee2217TerryLee2217

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

@chibiyu The exact same thing happened to me, I just decided to unfollow them since they didn't want anything to do with me, 4 years later, I still don't regret it ❤️ do what's best for you

Username: Lin__

Date posted: 4y ago

I cut my “best friend” off of 11 years this week. I have given her chance after chance to get better and she continued to treat me like shit. So I feel free from that, however my other best friend of 11 years stopped being friends with both me and the toxic friend just because I was still friends with her. I’m 20 and go to a community college and it’s been very hard for me to make friends even before the pandemic. I haven’t had any other friends outside them since hs and my hs friends honestly weren’t great to me either (we distanced, all of us) and of course I’ve looked at myself and considered myself to be the problem and blamed myself but even my therapist doesn’t think that’s true... but anyways. I’m here. Lonely af. Officially no friends. And the sad thing is I don’t know when I will have any. It could be months or years from now and I’m so focused on school... I have no idea if I will ever be happy with someone (like a vest or close friend) or even be in a relationship. Anyways this is what I’m going through and I’m feeling very alone

Username: Ineedtogrow

Date posted: 1y ago

Break With GF is Driving me insane

I’ve never tried posting in this community or any online community for that matter, but my girlfriend of 8 years just told me she wanted to take a weeklong break 3 days ago. I know a week isn’t long and I believe everyone deserves space when they need it, I’ve been trying to give it to her. We’ve still ended up texting everyday (I made a rule with myself that I’d only text her if she texted me, so that the space is there if she wants it). These obviously aren’t our normal texts, the coldness and having to pretend this isn’t my other-half of 8 years is killing me. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I’m almost positive I have rocd reocd. Ive been the type to make up problems in my head and obsess over them until I have to share my thoughts with her, this usually upsets her and we have a fight. She’s amazing, and I’d do anything for her, but shes not the reassuring type when I’m panicking about our relationship (not that that’s her responsibility). I have this awful feeling that when we talk about it after this week, she’s going to ask to just be friends. For some reason I just can’t do this, I can’t keep conversing this way with the woman Ive planned my life away with, I can’t keep living in this hell. I know that my delusions will get better once we move in together as they completely go away when we stay together, but I can’t help but feel that she’ll doubt this and want to break up anyway. As dramatic as I feel saying this, these last few days have been torture on my heart and mind. I can’t eat, and when I do I throw up and dry heave, I’ve lost 10 pounds in 3 days. My whole day is filled with random panic attacks and an inability to remain present and focused for more than 5 minutes. The panic attacks get much worse at night, not allowing me to sleep, and I just keep fearing the worst and obsessing over what I’m going to say or do to show her I’m serious about making this work. I’ve contacted two counselors and am meeting with one tomorrow, but I just don’t know what to do right now. I really appreciate anyone who read all this I just needed to put it somewhere.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m so scared

Back in October, I told one of my friends about my intrusive and scary thoughts relating to POCD. A few days later, she cut me off after sending me a text message, which basically accused me of being an actual pedophile or someone who wants to hurt children. This was a very stressful day to say the least. Anyways- fast forward to today- she reaches out to me for the first time since then, basically confronting me once again about all of this. She also posted comments relating to my POCD thoughts on my social media profile. I just feel anxious that I can’t be trusted anymore and that she is going to tell everyone that I’m terrible or that everyone is going to think I’m actually terrible. I have already had enough worries about being a bad person, it is even more difficult when your once best friend is accusing you of being the most horrendous thing that many people can ever imagine. I’m scared to be around other people, for that they may have heard something about me, or will. I feel paranoid. I feel afraid for my future. Ever since October, I have felt that this would haunt me for the rest of my life.

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Update: She’s not responding

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