I can't do nothing

for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling

Im tired of feeling that ill be sick everytime , like if i feel some physical feelings like my stomach hurts or something in my body hurts i start to say maybe its the worst thing maybe im sick and i start to feel afraid , or if i go to gym and feel that some place if my body hurts i start saying that its because of gym and i stop it , i stop a lot of activities in my life because of that thinking im afraid that it will be more , and i dont know what to do , no one care about my feelings no one know what i feel , its kinda bad to feel this alone and to fight this alone , its not easy , i feel that im fighting myself im done 🤧

I feel so hopeless and alone right now. Even seeking therapy seems like a waste of time for me. Im just so tired of battling with my mind everyday and having not much of a support system. I just want to stay in bed and not do anything because even getting through the day feels so hard sometimes.