OCD about being a perfect person

Does anyone else suffer from ‘Real life events’ OCD? I constantly worry about things I did as a teenager (from ages 15-19) I wasn’t a very nice person and think I was quite a toxic girlfriend in my first relationship. I’m always terrified that people are going to find out and that I’m going to lose my job or something awful. I also think that a lot of people would be so shocked if they knew some of the things that I’d done, and that they would think so much less of me. I feel a constant need to confess or apologise, and wish more than anything that I could erase that whole chapter of my life. Previously in counselling, we looked at ‘black and white thinking’, and I managed to rationalise that everyone makes mistakes and nothing I did was that bad, but I have this horrible feeling that one day this will all catch up with me. Is this just genuine guilt and remorse or is this a symptom of OCD? Thanks in advance.

Feeling like a bad person has always been one of my reoccurring struggles with OCD. I’m working through trauma therapy at the moment and recognizing a lot of stuck points, and connecting a lot dots in relation to my OCD. But I feel like even if I make a small mistake or mess up, I can’t give myself grace - and I assume I’m an awful person. Obviously, my realistic self reassures me I would never intentionally hurt someone or have malicious intentions in situations. But sometimes I go round and round, and even think the only reason I think or want to be a good person is because I’m scared of being a bad person? I know that doesn’t make sense but it fucks with me and I’m sure only this group would understand. Anyway, today for example: I got sorta mad at my bf because he was trying to smack my butt and accidentally hit my back. And I said “ouch, stop - you got my back.” - in literally the least menacing way. And we laughed it off and he felt bad. And then I just couldn’t help myself from apologizing to him because I felt like I overreacted somehow. He seemed very confused and was so sweet about it. But I just felt like I overreacted, and I told him that I felt gross - I was trying to prepare food and it caught me off guard. And he was like “no yeah, that makes total sense - you literally don’t have to explain yourself or apologize at all!”. But I just got into this weird mood now, where I’m convincing myself I’m a bad person and a bad partner. And he should be with someone who is truly the sweetest person ever and beautiful to add on to the obsession. Sometimes I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not a bad person but sometimes the OCD itself is very annoying. I feel like this wave has passed, and I’ve worked a lot on grounding myself and bringing myself to reality. Which is great! But I would really love to know if anyone else struggles with this kind of thing and what helps them in these times?

I have done lots of “bad/problematic/immoral” stuff in my past. My ocd latches onto this so badly :( I have a large social media platform and usually get 20k-100k views quite often. The stuff I did in the past was probably “cancel-worthy” stuff. I have the constant urge + scenarios in my head to make a video “confessing” that I’m a bad person and I deserve to be cancelled although I realised the stuff I did in the past was bad and I don’t do them anymore. The things could range from months ago to stuff when I was a child. Seeing famous people get cancelled is triggering for me and if I see someone being cancelled for something I’ve done in my past I get so scared and anxious and start searching and ruminating. I have a constant feeling of guilt that I’ll never be perfect or be able to call myself a “good person” My ocd also focuses on my partner. He used to say Offensive jokes and more but I made him aware and he realised and stopped. He still makes occasional jokes nowhere near as bad as he used to but when he makes a joke my brain is suddenly like “oh no what if people think that joke is problematic” and because I saw like one person on TikTok be offended by something similar, I feel the need to immediately tell my boyfriend that he shouldn’t say the joke and it makes him frustrated because it’s almost every day my ocd is nitpicking for anything slightly “bad”. He means no harm with the jokes and doesn’t make the same ones he used to as he matured more and realised they were weird but my ocd wants him to be an absolutely perfect person with perfect morals whatever and he isnt allowed to do anything even slightly bad or he’s an awful person. And same for me, I need to be perfect. Anyone else relate? And does this sound like moral scrupulosity ocd?