Very Scared

My bad I wasn't specific sorry about that Ive had repetitive thoughts and scenarios about how that conversation would go and none of them have good outcomes. My ocd had shifted from religious themed to sexual orientation themed. I had started to have a lot of questions after one of my family members in January questioned me. It's something I've kinda obsessed over throughout my life to be honest. Then at times where my family would talk about it, I would get very anxious and nervous about what they would say. Like each time I make progress at accepting myself, my mind goes to places and starts questioning the reactions of others. And the negative emotions that they might have at the information I tell them.

@Anonymous8887 Oh I should've specified too, I meant what I was saying was more general advice and not just ocd related. Once again, other's reactions are reflections of themselves and not you. I know how hard it is to be afraid to lose someone in your life due to this, but at the end of the day I had to leverage it with "why would I want someone who hates parts of me to be around me all the time" or "someone who cannot accept me for being me in this harmless way". It sucks, it does! I'll be honest, it got to the point where I knew if I didn't come out it would kill me slowly, but I couldn't bear the thought of coming out to my partner. Luckily we talked, I explained to him that nothing about me was different. I'm still the same person. This is something that's important to me though, and he had already known me for so long without it, what difference would it make to him? Coming out is for yourself, don't let your thoughts take that power from you. If he didn't understand or even make an attempt to understand, then I guess that's not someone I'd want to be in a relationship with, as much as that hurts. Eventually, you'll find people who truly love and care for you and will love you for everything you are. Maybe some of them are around already too! A lot of being lgbt is just not knowing, it's scary, but knowing you have a community who understands these struggles helps - even if said community has it's issues. What type of accepting are you trying to do with yourself, if you don't mind me asking?

Im going to sound harsh for a second here, but I've dealt with major self esteem issues. People out there probably already hate me. They always will, they already do, etc. But people out there also love me, like me, and trust me. I'm always trying to get myself to remember if I care so much about the negative reactions to who I am, then I should also care about those who have positive! I have autism so it's deliberating knowing how I just can't make everyone like me or take a chance on me to get to know me better to where they will. It hurts and brings me down, being lgbt us just the cherry on top, but I've got so many people who don't care about any of that, understand my differences, and they like me for it. You're way more than what others think of you for. Especially when it comes to being lgbt. There's so much more to you than this, if they have such a negative reaction that they would ruin your relationships or think of you as something less, you don't need them. It's not an easy process, but I believe in you!