Why do I feel alone (part of my story)

My name is Lily. I’m from a small town in Colorado. I have had OCD since I was 6 but I was finally diagnosed at 9. I am constantly being bullied for being different and I came here to find others dealing with the sales things as me. I have never met another soul with OCD and no one in my area really knows what it is either. My most prominent OCD is sibling contamination OCD. I feel like my brother is dirty so I can’t touch him or anything in my own home. I can’t even touch the doors to leave without someone opening it for me or using gloves and washing my hands afterwards. I struggle everyday with anxiety which transferred over to harm and suicidal OCD. Whenever my anxiety gets to great I have to cut myself or sit on the roof and cry with my thoughts telling me to jump because I hurt my family emotionally. My parents call me a burden and my dad used to physically beat me. I’m trying to heal but all I can see in the mirror is a messed up 15 year old girl who is a burden to her family. Sometimes I wish I could just bring myself to the end and put my family out of their pain. I think I need someone with OCD to talk to.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 19w ago

Hope you are undergoing treatment I too suffer from ocd My themes changed from Contamination to re-checking things to harm ocd OCD is framed as just cleanliness but it's not Just believe in yourself take treatment

Username: PRIV8PRIV8

Date posted: 19w ago

Im really sorry youre going through this, you can heal from it and be you best version of yourself. It is possible but dont beat yourself over it. I dont know how your other family members treat you but you are loved by God so you can love yourself too even in your broken times.

Username: Starryeyes08Starryeyes08

Date posted: 19w ago

Know that you are not alone and that your compulsions/obsessions don’t define who you are as a person. I wish I knew word to put to what I was experiencing at 15, which was OCD. You are wonderful and brave and this world is better with you in it. It’s easy for us to get into such dark places so quickly. Being open about your disorder with people you trust can help alleviate it.

Username: Shi47Shi47

Date posted: 19w ago

You’re absolutely not alone. Believe this is recoverable from. Being 15 is hard enough and OCD is so very hard. I was made to feel like a burden to my parents too but I did recover and altogether in having another episode now, I’ve spent many years without OCD being such a burden. Take care and keep strong.

Username: I AM LY

Date posted: 5y ago

Hi my names Allison I am new here and I have been diagnosed with OCD through 6 questions in a online test, I got 5/6 and I am very much in fear, I just turned 14 and trying to reach people with similar problems So far the symptoms I've recodnized by myself are My OCD Symptoms Long showers Flickering lights or switches Creating unwanted balance in random objects Redoing everyday things at a specific value Counting for no reason Suicidal thoughts Feeling like you are a danger to the ones you love Repeating words unnecessarily at a certain value Easily getting mad Mentally hurt or torn down at most times I don't know if anyone here has anything in common with me but I hope someone can help me get through my experiences

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Feeling Alone And Tired

I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.

Username: delomelos

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't know what to out here

I kinda am really alone with this one. I got diagnosed 3 years ago and never went back to therapy. I don't really want help... I'm just here to kinda learn about other people. I've never met someone who has ocd like I do. You may think "they all say that" but I just never have. I got diagnosed when I told my therapist my obsession with gore/nercophilia. I can't believe I'm even talking about it right now. It makes me feel sick. I can't stand it. My mom has undiagnosed bpd. I may be wrong about this, I'm not a professional, but she has all the symptoms. Every single small thing about it too she has, and so do I. Having ocd along with it is even harder. I researched on having both and it's not common but also not impossible? If not, then if I don't have both, I would fit under the ocd title more than ocd. My point is, I feel alone. I just want someone to read this... I hate to admit it, but I want some sympathy. My partner has been really bad to me lately and I can't leave them cause I love them too much. So I don't beg him for comfort cause I know they might leave if I do. I feel like a burden. Please don't comment on that. Actually, are their even comments on this thing? Embarrassing if not..

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Why do I feel alone (part of my story)

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