Help

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD but I don’t have these intrusive thoughts like everyone else...so I’m convincing myself I don’t really have OCD I struggle I guess with rOCD (and more)...I guess I always check to see if a person texted me back. I blow up the persons phone until they respond. I use to have it really bad where I had so much anxiety if I didn’t do it and so much anxiety if I did. When guys leave me....I freak out and have damn near a heart attack from panicking so much. And once I get this thought in my head whether it’s “you should’ve said this” or “he probably lied to you when he said this” or whatever there’s this feeling in my body. It’s like an uncomfortable negative vibe and that thought becomes priority. I have to do it. I have to text them and it’s hard to think of anything else. And when I do it doesn’t stop so i shouldn’t give in but sometimes I do. And if I get over that thought later another might replace it and it starts again. Anybody else feel this way...?

Hey everyone, Back in 2020-2019ish I messaged these boys who I previously “did stuff with” . Before me and my bf dated . I think one of them messaged me about homework so I tried to help (he is also friends with my bf still). So I was just trying to be nice. And the other one I was friends with for years and I told him about my boyfriend and then he messaged me about dogs and about how he was sorry if he was mean etc etc. I don’t remember my responses but I’m paranoid I sent them something inappropriate and it was wrong . A lot of people think texting people from your past is bad in relationships and I’m obsessing over this too. But I think I was just trying to be nice at the time and didn’t think much of it . My boyfriend knows all this and he does not care .

I think i have a problem. I need responses plz. I (M20) think there is something wrong with me and I’m mentally obsessing. So first, let’s go way back to high school. I was in this relationship with this girl (I’ll use fake names) her name was Jenna from a different school when i was around 16-17 years old for about a little over a year. It was good but i found myself way too attached, (which i guess that’s how i naturally am in a relationship) and everything was literally perfect in that relationship except for the fact she would get mad at me for calling and texting her literally 24/7. And looking back on it rightfully so i was being annoying. She broke up with me after about 15 months and i think she just lost feelings and the whole calling stuff too and we were young. I was upset of course but obviously now I’m over it that was years ago. So after that relationship i was single for about almost 4 years. I had dating apps in the past & I wanted a girlfriend pretty badly so i found one that liked me her name was Sophia (again, using fake names) and we were like in this crazy honeymoon phase for about 8 weeks but it felt like the realest thing ever. And we started officially dating.Then i kind of started suffering from ROCD, i was scared i was loosing feelings, i was getting thoughts that i wasn’t attracted to her even though i was. This resulted in alot of panic attacks , with and without her present. And the list goes on, it was a really confusing time. So, going into this relationship i had thought about my ‘obsession with calling’ before hand and i figured I’m more mature now that i would not do that and I’ll be able to handle it better. Boy was I wrong. After weeks of dealing with ROCD, all i do is keep calling and calling and calling and calling, sometimes i just want to be annoying for no reason and my OCD would get to me thinking I’m some maniac. So we try our best in this relationship for a couple more months but it was mentally wearing on her because i would just be crying with her a lot and dealing with a lot of stuff. So she broke up with me a couple days after New Years and i was devastated, because all in the all i was still in love with her, it was just that cloud of ROCD that was getting in the way. After she broke up with me, i found myself obsessing more, and to add to it, she kind of just broke up with me and blocked me on everything without really an explanation. (even though i kind of know why she broke up with me) So i found myself calling and calling and calling and calling. I would call from No Called ID, i would buy fake phone numbers from the App Store to call her, i would venmo her saying sorry and all this. This all sounds really bad but it’s all the truth. She ended up threatening me with the police so i stopped. I feel like such an idiot and a weirdo. Now, I’m back on this dating app, and this girl named Jessica (again fake names) tells me to add her phone number, so I’m texting her we had a good convo and then out of no where she blocks me and i try calling her from no caller ID a few times but nothing. I woke up with her saying this. “I’m not sure if that was you calling me from No Caller ID last night, but do not do that again. That is harassment.” Is there something wrong with me? I do suffer from OCD and i take meds for it by the way. But other than this terrible attribute, i feel like I’m a really good guy and I’m good in a relationship if you take that complete away. I feel like any girl that somewhat shows interest in me, i have this obsessive feeling and it sucks i just want to be normal. What can i do to change this? I feel so obsessed i don’t want to feel this way.