Struggling with guilt and violent thoughts as a parent with OCD.

Parents with harm ocd

I love my son more than anything. Just writing that's making me tear up from guilt of these violent thoughts. Everyday for the last 2 weeks I cry. I don't want to move from my couch. He's 6 and he looks up to me and is always around me and I feel so guilty from these thoughts I want to avoid him but I can't. I feel guilty whenever a happy thought comes up or when I do anything I like. The ocd tells me why r u doing anything you enjoy remember what you were thinking earlier. My brain is constantly ruminating this specific scenario it's conjured up that makes me frozen. As soon as I wake up the thoughts start and never end. its a struggle to get ready for work and even go home or go to the gym all things I love. I haven't hidden knives around my house because I think I'm giving in if I do. I know coming on here is a compulsion but I can't help it today. I'm ready to just runaway but something in me keeps me from leaving the family I love so much. I'll get through this but had to write it out

Username: EllasmamaEllasmama

Date posted: 11w ago

I’m with you. 100%. I know it’s a little different but my dog is my entire world, but the thoughts targeted her. It’s literally everything. I gave in and hid anything that was bothering me out of the sheer terror and genuine feeling that I would do something, but now it’s settled on the stove in the kitchen, and also my bare hands. Neither of which I can get rid of. So I’ve got these constant unwanted thoughts that feel like I do want to do them. I’m convinced I’m psychotic and that I’m becoming the thoughts because I can’t feel anything to them. I feel numb totally her. So I feel you.

Username: LetLOVEinLetLOVEin

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w ago

I feel like you just wrote out my entire experience with harm! My kids are 4 and 5 and ocd has latched on to them too. It’s awful and makes you feel like a monster. Just breathe through it and try your best to make humor of the thoughts, as morbid as that is. If you ever need to talk let me know! You’ve got this!! 👏

Username: Ragnarking18 Ragnarking18

Date posted: 11w ago

Thanks so much for the advice and yes I'll take you up on that ☺️

Username: OCDisAwful1204OCDisAwful1204

Date posted: 11w ago

I’m struggling too. I was doing so much better and then it’s come back with a vengeance. Ugh. I’m so frustrated by it.

Username: Ragnarking18 Ragnarking18

Date posted: 11w ago

Yea its been 5 yrs since I've had this and this was my 1st theme when I was 7 but I'm finally committing to erp therapy. We got this

Username: OCDwontwin121691OCDwontwin12...

Date posted: 11w ago

I’m 3 months PP and OCD has latched on to me as a new parent in this way. It’s so so hard and it creates panic attacks. It’s the worst thing I think you can experience and I wouldn’t wish it on worst enemy. All I know is we will make it through this. From one mom to another, kudos to you for not letting ocd win and fighting for yourself and your kids. You are way stronger than you think! 💙

Username: Ragnarking18 Ragnarking18

Date posted: 11w ago

Thank you so much your so strong as well. Becoming a father is the best thing to ever happen to me and ocd latches on to everything we love but yes we got this

Username: Brett VBrett V

Date posted: 4w ago

@Ragnarking18 Not sure if you are still struggling or not brother but your fight is my fight. I recently started Prozac for this very reason. My child is my absolute world but these thoughts have nearly crippled me as well. You are not alone, your fears are my fears to a T. If you ever need to vent, I’m here.

Username: Ragnarking18 Ragnarking18

Date posted: 11w ago

I'm really sorry your goin through this too. I had a terrible night last night. I was trying to sleep then I had a thought just do it get it over with and I was panicking and frozen. I was thirsty too I couldn't even go to kitchen to get a drink

Username: Kasey2001

Date posted: 2y ago

I have severe OCD and I experience all different types of intrusive thoughts and compulsions I fucking hate it! But one thing I struggle with the most is POCD! It makes me violently sick and disturbed but I know it’s not me and I know it’s not true but then why do I feel so disgusting? I have two children, one 5 and the other is 1, I don’t want to change my daughters nappys I don’t want to get her dressed (of course I do because I don’t have a choice) but it triggers me so bad and gets me in a state, I don’t know how to get over this I’ve had this certain thought for over six weeks and I can’t do it anymore, I’m so distressed they deserve better, why can’t I just be a normal person, I’ve actually thought about giving them up over these thoughts it’s breaking me and it’s breaking my heart, I actually can’t try beat this anymore.

Username: libramama88

Date posted: 1y ago

I can't stand living like this. OCD is killing me.

I suffer with harm and intrusive thoughts about my children. Sometimes I'm good sometimes I feel like a crazed woman. I was trying to put my 2 year old to bed last night and I was so scared something was going to happen but I fought through and my son was being wild as always lol and jumping on my belly and I had my hand on his chest for support and then he moved and I scratched him right below his neck on accident but when I woke up this morning I felt like I did something bad. This constant worry is driving me mad. I know deep down it was an accident but my OCD brain wants me to think it was intentional. Can ANYONE RELATE/? I FEEL SO ALONE

Username: RedPanda89

Date posted: 1y ago

Struggling with POCD

I'm really struggling today, I've had OCD diagnosed for around 12 years and it comes and goes but recently I'm experiencing some of the biggest waves I've ever had. I have a 2 year old daughter and I love her with everything I have, she's my absolute world but the OCD centres around her and it's really intensified recently. I try not to avoid anything but my OCD is saying to just try it out, just once, to see if I like it then I'll know for sure. I'm sat here in floods of tears because I'm so scared. What if I do? I don't want to harm her in any way at all, but my OCD just keeps saying I need to try. I brushed it away yesterday saying yea, yea OCD whatever you say we'll try tomorrow and now tomorrow is here my brain is just making me feel like I have to, to know for certain and I'm scared. I want to call the Samaritans but I'm scared they'll think I'm a risk to my daughter and lock me up. I'm so tired of feeling this way, just scared all the time that I'm going to give in and just try it once to shut the OCD up but I feel sick at the thought. Someone help me please.

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Struggling with guilt and violent thoughts as a parent with OCD.

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