Why do I struggle with negative thoughts about my husband's attraction to others?

@Someone99 Thank you so much. This almost brought me to tears honestly. My husband and I have been really open but It can be hard because I know this hurts him and it makes me hesitant to talk about it. Any advice on what to do then? We’re both very gentle when we communicate.

@Someone99 It makes me so happy to hear from someone who has been married for so long and is happy/adores his wife. I’ve seen a lot of the opposite in marriages around me which doesn’t help.

@MACK! My wife has taught me more about what love really is over the years, through my OCD challenges, I didn't even know I had until 3 years ago. Once I had the OCD diagnosis I was able to get the care I need, and let her off the hook with that, so to speak. It's like I resented her for not understanding at first. So you and your husband will continue to grow and learn about yourselves, as well as about each other. Love becomes more real, more than the emotions and fantasy it begins with. My main advice would be, never compare your marriage to anyone else's, good or bad. There's no "perfect" marriage.

@MACK! But also, surround yourself with positive influences, positive people and activities the two of you enjoy together.

@MACK! Positive "self talk" always helps too.

@hanysm@gmail.com I appreciate this but I really don’t think that’s going to happen and thinking about that is a no for me. Firstly because physical attraction for me is very minor. Like I’ve never been extremely attracted to anyone without a connection and the closer I feel so someone’s soul, the more physically attracted I am. And I believe physical attraction goes hand and hand with the health of your marriage, your mindset, beliefs and what you choose to think from day one of a relationship. I know we’ve been married a short time but I find myself more and more attracted to him as time goes on because daily, I do what’s necessary in my mind for us to become closer and more loving with every day. I don’t want to be the middle aged couple who resent eachother, compare to other people, don’t have sex. Sadly that’s mostly what I’ve seen around me so I decided something needs to change. Clearly what people are doing isn’t working. I don’t think expecting things to happen and just accepting it is the way to go. I will never accept the fact that maybe I’ll no longer be as attracted to my husband. That just sounds so sad and why does that need to happen? It doesn’t even make sense. If you spend years with someone you truly love, that attraction should and will grow. You can decide what your life will look like so why not your marriage? We’re also Christian and so that plays a huge role in our marriage. What does God say about marriage, attraction, cheating etc and how do your protect your marriage from those things and anything else the world says is “normal and bound to happen”

@hanysm@gmail.com Now if that does happen, we aren’t going to ignore it. We will get through that but it doesn’t have to be that way and I won’t accept it. It’s important to talk about things and do things preemptively because if you do get to that point in your marriage where everything is dull, attraction is at an all time low etc it’s many times much too late to start fixing that. I don’t want to have to fix that. I want to do my best so that doesn’t have to get to that point. I want my husband to feel loved, seen, and supported beyond all measure until the day that he dies.