The need to confess every little thing?

@RobrechtB I don’t think it’s the best solution, I’ve told my boyfriend everything too. I always end up finding something else to “confess” or need reassurance about. Sometimes it the same thing I need reassurance about just to confirm nothing has changed or if I forget what his stance was. I’ve been doing that for 3 years it seems. Back when my OCD wasn’t terrible as well. He’s extremely understanding and kind. I truly want to believe we’ll get through this but right now I feel so paralyzed with fear. I hope this ugly fear passes soon. I’ve tried 2 different SSRIs (lexpro and Prozac) and both went terribly for me. The first one made me suicidal, the second one caused me the same paralyzing fear I’m feeling right now, just longer, stronger, and constant. I’ve tried Buspar and I got panic attacks and prolonged crying with that. I tried Amitriptyline and it was the only one that helped me feel okay again. It just made me angry and impulsive (I have adhd and I think it just worsened my symptoms there). Right now, im on clonidine and it’s really the only thing that’s helped but it doesn’t fix anything. It’s been a long hard few months unfortunately but I’m trying to hang in there.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Thanks for the answer, I recognize a lot in myself! I have been taking Lexapro for 6 weeks now and I am starting to notice a little difference! So you no longer take an antidepressant? What is clonidine if I may ask? And are you already seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist? Or are you already following ERP with a psychologist? Great to hear that you have such a strong relationship! Good luck further!!

@RobrechtB I’m doing ERP through NOCD, I’m no longer on any anti depressant. Clonidine is a blood pressure medication but it’s also given for ADHD and anxiety. I take it as needed when things get really bad. Good luck to you too!

@issphra 🫶🏻 How long have you been following ERP? And is that continuously online via this app? Can I do that too, because I live in Belgium! Is that via FaceTime or how does this work exactly? Thank you in advance!

@RobrechtB I’ve been in NOCD therapy for a week and today was the first ERP session. It’s through Zoom, you can I think. I’m not sure what countries they accept but the information should be online. You would just have to pay out of pocket I believe.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Nice to hear, good luck with it!! Thanks for the conversation!