- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Every time there is a break from school I break down and get really depressed. I can’t sit still with my thoughts. It’s exhausting. I’m seeing a therapist and she knows about this, I’m also going to see a psychiatrist soon but I haven’t started CBT or even erp. I tried to start erp once but it was so hard I just couldn’t.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah don’t try ERP on your own! At least I wouldn’t recommend that... and a couple social workers I’ve talked to at my hospital agreed with me on that. There’s some good books out there but still. I was the same way when it comes to breaks from school and getting depressed. You’re not alone in this. I’m glad you’re getting help.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ll check it out. I know everyone says not to fight it but that truly just seems so hard. I tried to be ok with my comb not being in its place. And I didn’t make it more than 10 secs before I had to put it back. Sitting with that anxiety was so hard and terrifying that just thinking of trying it again is overwhelming. I’ll look up that talk and listen to it. It might help. Thank you
- Date posted
- 5y
For sure. We’re all here for you! And don’t worry if the talk doesn’t really resonate - maybe meds are the thing you really need right now, so that the therapists advice and all this other therapy stuff can actually sink in, ya know?
- Date posted
- 5y
This was me hardcore, until I finally did break down when school stopped and I was FORCED to finally sit alone with myself and my thoughts. You are struggling mentally, you’re not making this up. My plea would be to please start the hard work now of delving into acceptance and commitment therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, or whatever works for you (if you’re not already in some kind of treatment - kudos if you are!) so that things don’t spiral out of control because you kept trying not to relax and deal with these thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
Are you able to take breaks now? It seems like there will never be a day where relaxing will be possible.
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly, it can still be a struggle and when in those break zones I do sometimes struggle with getting out of bed at a reasonable hour and the like. But it definitely got way easier when I started acceptance and commitment therapy, learning how to BE with negative emotions/thoughts and not push them away. I also learned - or really was forced to as part of ACT - to take a deep look at myself and what my values are, which made me realize the areas of my life I wanted to improve in and that I was being too hard on myself in others. Just overall building more self-compassion and talking to myself as if I was giving advice/love to a close friend.
- Date posted
- 5y
I want to try all of that. I really hope I get there one day. Right now I just feel so far away from any way of overcoming this.
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely and utterly understand and empathize. You should have seen me a month ago - I thought there was NO WAY that this was ever going away, in fact I thought I was actually going psychotic. I was too scared to even get into the shower because I had a fear I would start hearing voices. I’m not sure if it will help you, but what helped me - even if just a tiny bit - when I was at my lowest was listening to a talk by Dr. Claire Weekes on Youtube called “how to overcome anxiety”. In there, she talks about how the only way through is to not fight anxiety and not shrink away from feeling fear
- Date posted
- 5y
Me.
- Date posted
- 5y
Meds freak me out. I’m having a hard time take a vitamin D supplement. I want to take them if someone prescribes them but I’m too scared I probably won’t.
- Date posted
- 5y
??? I swear you’re spying on me!! That could not me more accurate about how I function! Does anything help you?
- Date posted
- 5y
Dibidah, nothing helps me unfortunately. I’m glad it’s not just me tho. Not that I’d ever want another human to feel how I feel. How do you manage it? I personally can’t even get myself to ask for a day off work so I just work work work until I’m sick and can’t go into work or school. I don’t complain ever so most of my coworkers think I’m totally fine, when really I’m dying inside. It’s like I’m trying to work my thoughts away. Lol I’m just really exhausted and wish there was a way to make it all end.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.
- Date posted
- 22w
I'm wondering if this is a common OCD experience: does anyone else find that when you have idle time, your mind just spirals into endless rumination on negative "what ifs" & intrusive thoughts? It's been happening to me for the past three years, which coincides with starting a really high-stress job. Weekends used to be my time to relax, but now I dread weekends...I only feel relief when I'm sleeping because it's the only time my mind seems to quiet down. It's honestly so depressing to lose that enjoyment. Does anyone else relate to this, and if so, what helps you cope?
- Date posted
- 15w
Lately I have been engaging is a very vicious mental cycle of not being as productive as I wanted to at work, worrying my boss with notice and get mad at me or fire me, and then feeling like I have to “figure out” how to “fix myself” and be more productive. I come up with detailed elaborate plans and lists for everything I need to do and fix to be a good person. I have a lot of negative thoughts that are very distressing to me and basically I am a horrible person if I don’t “fix myself” via making these plans. For me, oddly, it’s not about doing the things, it’s about making the list. I do research on how to be more productive and have this need to make the perfect plan that will solve my problems. And then once I make the list I feel better (temporarily, of course). All of the mental energy put into the researching and planning is so draining that it begins to negatively impact my work… and the cycle continues!!! I feel like this is not a “normal” obsession or intrusive thought that people with OCD have, so I guess I am trying to figure out if it could be OCD? This is a very consistent thing I have been experiencing since probably around 8th grade?? So 5+ years now. It’s always the never feeling like I’m good enough and then the compulsory planning until I felt like I had a good enough plan to fix myself. Thanks in advance!! Disclaimer: I have not been diagnosed with OCD but I suspect I have OCD/Pure O or OCPD and many people in my life agree. Obviously this is not my only reason for thinking I have OCD lol
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