- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You should join him in therapy if he goes to an ocd specialist. The specialist will help you to understand better what he’s dealing with and how you can actively help and speed his recovery. Watch for more insight on how to help if you haven’t already seen this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NLr04CEURdg
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you very much!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
First of all, you deserve a ton of praise for doing your homework, researching OCD, and reaching out to find ways to support him. Props to you, he’s lucky to have a supportive partner like you. Second, I would maybe suggest reading some things written by people who have ROCD about managing the disorder while being in relationships. It might help to give you a better sense of his thoughts, especially since it might be hard for him to articulate exactly what’s going through his head to you, as you are his partner. If he’s not already seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist, I think it would be really helpful if you could support him in seeking one out, or if he is seeing one, see if you could attend a session with him, or perhaps attend the first 15 minutes or so of several sessions? When my OCD was centered around family relationships, my mother would join my therapist and I for the first 15 minutes of each session, and it was helpful to be able to discuss how OCD was affecting us and our relationship with a psychiatrist there to mediate and offer explanations and solutions. The last suggestion I have is to ask your partner what you can do to support him. For example, my family and I have a ‘panic protocol’ for when my OCD spirals into full-on panic attacks: I may need to be alone or I may want to have someone to talk to, but I will dictate which; don’t touch me during a panic attack; help me to a more secluded or quiet place so I can ‘take a break’ from people, etc. I also have an understanding with my best friend that if I ask her to ‘drown my brain out,’ I’m spiraling and need her to give me a distraction to help me break out of the spiral. These exact scenarios may or may not apply to you and your partner, but I wanted to give them as examples of ways you can set up support systems so that they’re ready to go in case you need them.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much, that’s very helpful!!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I love the idea of having a panic protocol. I think I need to come up with one of these for myself/my bf. Thank you for the idea
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You are very nice person and I’m hope you deal with it, OCD is hard thing but if you love him, you help to him a lot with just understanding what happening with him. It’s really hard and sometimes scary to listen some thoughts but OCD thoughts are just thoughts. He scared of them same as you and even more, thats is why he share them with you, just for lowering anxiety level. English was very bad level so hope you’re understand ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you Tomm!!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Whew, sorry that got so long! Hope it’s helpful. Again, kudos to you for reaching out and finding ways to support your partner through this.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- Date posted
- 17w ago
im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
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