- Username
- kells
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You should join him in therapy if he goes to an ocd specialist. The specialist will help you to understand better what he’s dealing with and how you can actively help and speed his recovery. Watch for more insight on how to help if you haven’t already seen this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NLr04CEURdg
Thank you very much!
First of all, you deserve a ton of praise for doing your homework, researching OCD, and reaching out to find ways to support him. Props to you, he’s lucky to have a supportive partner like you. Second, I would maybe suggest reading some things written by people who have ROCD about managing the disorder while being in relationships. It might help to give you a better sense of his thoughts, especially since it might be hard for him to articulate exactly what’s going through his head to you, as you are his partner. If he’s not already seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist, I think it would be really helpful if you could support him in seeking one out, or if he is seeing one, see if you could attend a session with him, or perhaps attend the first 15 minutes or so of several sessions? When my OCD was centered around family relationships, my mother would join my therapist and I for the first 15 minutes of each session, and it was helpful to be able to discuss how OCD was affecting us and our relationship with a psychiatrist there to mediate and offer explanations and solutions. The last suggestion I have is to ask your partner what you can do to support him. For example, my family and I have a ‘panic protocol’ for when my OCD spirals into full-on panic attacks: I may need to be alone or I may want to have someone to talk to, but I will dictate which; don’t touch me during a panic attack; help me to a more secluded or quiet place so I can ‘take a break’ from people, etc. I also have an understanding with my best friend that if I ask her to ‘drown my brain out,’ I’m spiraling and need her to give me a distraction to help me break out of the spiral. These exact scenarios may or may not apply to you and your partner, but I wanted to give them as examples of ways you can set up support systems so that they’re ready to go in case you need them.
Thank you so much, that’s very helpful!!
I love the idea of having a panic protocol. I think I need to come up with one of these for myself/my bf. Thank you for the idea
You are very nice person and I’m hope you deal with it, OCD is hard thing but if you love him, you help to him a lot with just understanding what happening with him. It’s really hard and sometimes scary to listen some thoughts but OCD thoughts are just thoughts. He scared of them same as you and even more, thats is why he share them with you, just for lowering anxiety level. English was very bad level so hope you’re understand ?
Thank you Tomm!!
Whew, sorry that got so long! Hope it’s helpful. Again, kudos to you for reaching out and finding ways to support your partner through this.
My boyfriend has ROCD and it can get tough or discouraging at times but I’m in it for the long haul. Does anyone have any affirmations that help them?
I have rocd. It’s the worst feeling being with the love of your life and having these thoughts. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and few months and I just wish this disorder wasn’t even a thing. From the start of us being together I knew and felt he was perfect and EVERYTHING I’ve always wanted. I had thoughts about everything you can name of. If I love him or not, do I like other people instead, if he’s ugly, if I like him only because of his looks, comparing other relationships, if he did one thing off or different question if I really know him, thought he was a different person then what I really knew him for, believing and having the thoughts every single one feel real. It’s a nightmare. Because I would literally die on the instead from telling him these things when he never did anything. I have gotten much better with the love, and looks and all that but there’s always new “targets” as me and him say. It’s like I can never truly run away. I think of how easy it is for others in relationships since they don’t have this and I just want that with him. It’s been a year and a few months and yes we’ve went through hell and back and a lot of things have gotten better but not fully. Hopefully soon enough they will and EVRYTHING will be much better. I just want him. I can’t do anything without him like he’s really the first person I only ever imagined a future with. A future that I wanted to be married and have kids and just live a beautiful life with. I want his pain and suffering to end with all these thoughts he’s heard throughout the year. I never mean to hurt him. I never mean to break him. I just want him. I can’t lose him. If you have ROCD, it’s good your here. Get help, get support, talk to someone about this because it will get better. I’ve had my amazing days. 4 days straight! I never had that before but I lost it and trying to get it back. I know I will, just gotta keep trying hard. My boyfriend helps me so much by supporting and telling me “Your ocd is not you, these thoughts aren’t you, ocd attacks anything you care about.” I couldn’t be more lucky to have him. I’m the luckiest girl alive. He makes me feel that way and I just want this to be over already. I love him so much. Idk if this helps anyone with ROCD, but you’re not alone. Search up videos the help understand, pay attention and watch what you can do to fix it because it is. I’m not there yet but I will not give up, so everyone out there with any type of OCD. We can do this. Confidence is key. Don’t give up. We’re all here to help one another, and ofc regular support with friends family and definitely therapy.
Hello, I do not have OCD but my boyfriend does. We’re both in our early 20s, we have been together for almost a year. I’m making this post seeking advice , thank you for taking the time to read. He’s always had issues obsessing over my past and asking me questions and things of that nature. I talk to him about it and answer when he wants to ask me stuff, but the problem is i don’t want to talk about these things because it’s really traumatic for me. He tends to obsess over my past romantic history which brings up bad feelings for me (SA, DV trauma etc) I want to help him but it’s VERY hard to stay patient when it’s triggering me. Every time he asks me about these things i either end up having a panic attack or getting so upset with him which ends up making him feel worse because he can’t control his obsessions and it’s a really hard cycle for both of us. I don’t understand much about OCD and it confuses me how one minute everything is fine and the next he is upset. and he hasn’t been diagnosed yet but is working on getting into therapy. He has his own trauma which i think is where this all stems from. But in the meantime I want to find better ways to help but also keep my own mental health in check. I’m willing to do whatever I can to help him with his issues. It’s also really isolating because it’s a difficult situation and i’m having difficulty finding anyone who relates and can help. Thank you for reading this. 🥺 And anyone who has advice would get greatly appreciated.
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