My partner has ROCD and we’ve struggled a lot to keep our relationship healthy because of it. We broke up temporarily because it was so hard for me to deal with him being so distant when he was stuck in thought loops and when he would share all the doubts he thought about me it would make me extremely insecure. We are back together now and trying to create healthy boundaries. His ROCD makes me feel like I’m the only one rooting for us and holding us together. I am beginning to take the time to research more about OCD to better understand what he is going through and figure out the best way to support him. I just get so overwhelmed that he will never be happy with me. Any advice?

Do any other partners of someone with rocd just feel so defeated sometimes? I know how debilitating this is for my partner don’t get me wrong, but it’s debilitating for me too. To constantly feel like I have to justify my whole past but his equally bad or worse behavior is fine. He doesn’t owe me an explanation or even an apology because he is having ocd about my actions. Sometimes he’s treated me badly in the past and that caused me to be a jerk too. I’m not right for that. But because of his ocd I have to constantly own it over and over and over, but he doesn’t even acknowledge that he has been cruel to me at times. I’m so exhausted and I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Me and my Fiancé get married in 3 months. We have been together for almost 3yrs now. I started dealing with OCD and different subtypes around Mid 2022 without knowing it was OCD. (Im not officially diagnosed btw) Because I didn't know it was OCD for a long time all i did was confess and confess to my Fiancé, mainly things about my past some from my distant past and some from my more recent past. Eventually my OCD switched themes and all of sudden now i was having intrusive thoughts. Present intrusive thoughts that's when I learned about ROCD and I immediately felt identified. Anyways i was barely learning about compulsions and how to resist them so i was still not doing good regarding my confessions and i began to now confess my intrusive thoughts. Afterwards as OCD usually does i started obsessing over the most trivial things in my past, i started dealing with Real Event/False Memory OCD I confessed about that too. All the way to present time. I have gotten better at resisting my main compulsion which is confessing, yet i still fail from time to time. What has happened now is that my Fiancé is getting affected. She is the most patient, supportive & kind woman i have ever met. She is literally an angel from heaven and has been by my side through my/our darkest times. However lately she hasn't been feeling well. Due to our economical situation we've decided to move back to my hometown after the wedding. This is difficult for her of course because she has to leave behind. Family, Friends, her job and basically what has been her whole life till now. The thing is that she tell's me that all of that would be easier if she knew she was giving it up for something that's gonna last and she feels like my constant confessing and my intrusive thoughts is just me secretly telling her that I'm not sure about being with her. Keep in mind, she knows about my ROCD, I've explained it, we've read articles together, watched videos about it together. Even then she tells me to try to look at things from her side and how its not easy for her to deal with this change in her life and feel like she has to keep us together as well. I've also felt like OCD has changed who i am. I used to be confident, positive, spontaneous, detailed and romantic. Now all my energy seems to be focused on just getting through the day with my thoughts. So I understand that she hasn't been feeling swooned lately. Specially after so much time of me being the amazing boyfriend. I guess what im trying to figure out is how to deal with all of this. How do i deal with my ROCD and support my Fiancé at the same time. How can I reassure her i love her and that I don't have any doubts about being with her depsite what i feel or think. I don't mind my OCD hurting me or torturing me. But not her, i just want her to be happy. If anyone is going through something similar or has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Life is so hard.

Hello, I do not have OCD but my boyfriend does. We’re both in our early 20s, we have been together for almost a year. I’m making this post seeking advice , thank you for taking the time to read. He’s always had issues obsessing over my past and asking me questions and things of that nature. I talk to him about it and answer when he wants to ask me stuff, but the problem is i don’t want to talk about these things because it’s really traumatic for me. He tends to obsess over my past romantic history which brings up bad feelings for me (SA, DV trauma etc) I want to help him but it’s VERY hard to stay patient when it’s triggering me. Every time he asks me about these things i either end up having a panic attack or getting so upset with him which ends up making him feel worse because he can’t control his obsessions and it’s a really hard cycle for both of us. I don’t understand much about OCD and it confuses me how one minute everything is fine and the next he is upset. and he hasn’t been diagnosed yet but is working on getting into therapy. He has his own trauma which i think is where this all stems from. But in the meantime I want to find better ways to help but also keep my own mental health in check. I’m willing to do whatever I can to help him with his issues. It’s also really isolating because it’s a difficult situation and i’m having difficulty finding anyone who relates and can help. Thank you for reading this. 🥺 And anyone who has advice would get greatly appreciated.