anonymous7379292

Date posted: 5d ago

can someone please help me

Nobody is responding to my posts and i’m literally going insane right now i don’t know what to do my ocd keeps telling me i cheated on my boyfriend and got pregnant by someone else but the thing is i never did i’ve never cheated and i’m absolutely positive that my boyfriend is the father of my baby because it’s impossible for anyone else to be and i want to confess so bad but the thing is i didn’t do it and i don’t want to ruin me and my baby’s life over something i didn’t even do it’s so stressful can someone please please help me

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

Hi there. I am sorry to hear of your distress and struggle. It can be overwhelming. OCD is the doubting disease, it makes you doubt things so you try to 'figure it out'. Briefly, identification is half the battle - we have to ID and label OCD thoughts (images urges sensations) as OCD and Talk Back to OCD for example "This is OCD and I refuse to figure this out" as a response. Learning to tolerate the discomfort is a process of resisting Identified compulsions and using that response to identify and resist OCD. The anxiety will still be there, this is the discomfort OCD feeds upon. Over time, with practice the intensity will drop so we have to manage expectations as well. I would suggest to start with identifying and talking back to OCD and trying to resist engaging in the solving, debating, reviewing or reassurance compulsions - allow yourself grace to get used to this process. Progress - not perfection, practice - not perfection is the standard to utilize. There are other options for response ("Maybe it's true, maybe not - I still refuse to figure it out" or "anything is possible, everything is not probable") NOCD's therapists are OCD specialists, our duty is to help you understand 'how' to do these skills until they become normal, easy and automatic. Finding a good match in your therapist can really increase your hope, your confidence and empower you to fight OCD - but correctly. OCD is unlike any other diagnosis and requires appropriate skill to weaken and starve the OCD.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Gail Amalfitano Could I get some support on a recent post I made??

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

Accepting Things As They Are To accept things as they are means to let go of your expectations of how things should be. Instead, allow things to be what they are. It means to say to yourself, “It is what it is, and there is nothing I can do to change the current situation.” This is a contrast to asking the universe “why is this happening to me?” Why Is Acceptance So Important? There are three main reasons why it is good to accept things as they are. First, trying to change reality is a battle you’re guaranteed to lose. It leads to feelings of bitterness, anger, and sadness. Second, acceptance allows you to recognize and face the actual problem. This can allow for problem-solving. For example, if you’re unhappy in your career, it’s impossible to make any changes before you face the reality of your current situation. Denying reality prevents you from problem-solving and may lead to more serious consequences — in this example, further years of career dissatisfaction. Third, accepting things as they are leads us toward a sense of peace and calm. It is normal to feel angry, sad, or disappointed when you first acknowledge that you have no control over a difficult situation. However, acceptance will help you eventually feel lighter — as if a burden has been removed. RELATED: Radical Acceptance in DBT Therapy: A Subtle and Important Skill How to Accept Things As They Are Notice when you are trying to change or deny things that can’t be changed. For some people, warning signs include thoughts like This is unfair, It shouldn’t be this way! or Why me? For others, warning signs tend to be emotions like anger or frustration. Remind yourself that “it is what it is” and there is nothing you can do to change it right now. You may need to do these multiple times a day/hour/minute depending on the situation. Allow yourself to feel sad and disappointed; these feelings are healthy! At the same time, trust that acceptance will eventually bring you peace and calm. Seek out social support. Engage in self-care activities to help you cope with difficult feelings and improve your mood. Remember: accepting things as they are does not mean that you have to enjoy what’s happening. It also does not mean that you are giving up. It simply means that you acknowledge that you don’t have control over the situation, and it is what it is.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/acceptance-scripts-with-jon-grayson-ep-341/ This is a great podcast about acceptance.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Could I please get some support?

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

@Anony1314 Are you engaged in treatment with a therapist at NOCD?

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells I'm engaged in therapy with a therapist who specializes in OCD yes. She used to be apart of NOCD

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells I just need some support. My therapist isn't available to speak with me until Wednesday.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells I just need to know if this is an OCD episode I'm dealing with. Not reassurance.z

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

Access your sense of humor. It’s absurd sounding when you’re in a spike, but it’s so important to show OCD you don’t care what it has to say. Feelings and thoughts are only feelings and thoughts. You give them meaning and amplify the importance. I don’t want to give you the reassurance that OCD wants to feed it and give it power. I want you to push through this spike and starve it out.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Thank you so so much Carrie! I have one more question for you. I forgot to add in that my mind had to literally question what to do after my thought told me I had hurt my daughter, and the only thing I could think to do was elbow her. The thought came like "well if you could do anything what would it be". Then I elbowed her because I literally couldn't think of anything. Is this still under the pattern of OCD? I'm sorry just does it still fit that pattern!? My mind wasn't in the right place during this. It's caused me immense distress.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Hey! Did you see my last message

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

Yes I just saw your last message. Unfortunately, this is still reassurance you’re seeking. OCD takes all shapes and forms and patterns, I do know that!

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Can you just say if it follows the OCD pattern? I understand not needing to get reassurance, but I'm very debilitated right now. Idk if I deserve to be my daughter's mom anymore.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

As I said, OCD has bazillions of patterns! I know that when one feels desperate to fix, solve, or have certainty, I know that OCD is usually behind the mask.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Thank you!

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

Hi! This definitely sounds like one of the tricks of OCD. I want to encourage you to focus on your body, allow the discomfort to exist, while also not playing OCD's game. No amount of reassurance will convince OCD that the fear is not true. Therefore, you want to sit with the uncertainty, "maybe, maybe not" and then work on allowing the anxiety to come down on its own. You've got this! We are here to help!

izzy_

Date posted: 5d ago

I don’t have any helpful advice but here to listen. 🫶🏼

mariecorinne81

Date posted: 5d ago

You know you didn't though. I know it's distressing but that's what OCD wants you to think. It's your mind playing tricks on you. Hope this helps 🫶🏼

WorriedMamasita

Date posted: 5d ago

Tell your boyfriend what your OCD is making you think and explain to him you didn't do it

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

It's your OCD. I'm here for you to listen; but trust me, this is OCD.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

The most powerful tool you have is acceptance and disengaging from the intrusive thoughts.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Do you mind to take a moment and just respond to what's going on? Tell me if it's OCD?

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 4d ago

What can I do to be helpful? Have you been working on some exposures?

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells Just a little side note: I know this post has been made MANY times by me. However, I had a therapist respond to my post today saying that I need to reach out to my therapist on this because the context was not clear. This made me more stressed and ruminate more. It's not the therapist fault; but not I wonder if I'm really the monster. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow) but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? And yes I've been practicing my exposures since and been doing better. But I just can't get past this.

Anony1314

Date posted: 4d ago

@Carrie Wells I responded to you. Sorry for the long message.

sarahelisa199

Date posted: Yesterday

I don’t have any advice except to say I have had this happen, where I am married and have not cheated, yet my brain makes me doubt reality itself. It’s definitely hard and i can’t understand why

Ellie.

Date posted: 10w ago

I’m begging ANYONE help I can’t take it anymore!!

I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???

Relationship OCD

misereri

Date posted: 5w ago

Someone to talk to?please?

Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?

anonymous737...

Date posted: 12d ago

feeling like i did something

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

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