Anyone religious on here?

@Anonymous I needed to hear that, my OCD started terrorizing me with praying to evil entities instead and hearing you say nothing happens without God’s consent took a huge weight off of my chest. Thank you so much.

@issphra 🫶🏻 God bless you ♥️

@haleyacord Thank you 🤍

@andrewt_ I was hoping someone would brainstorm like this! Thank you so much. Yes to 3 of the things you mentioned, it feels like it’s off-limits so I feel tempted, I want to beat my OCD to it, and it feels like I’m subconsciously trying to reassure myself that no matter how much I pray, how much harm I think of, no matter how “serious” I am about it, it won’t happen. All three of those, the anger thing, not really but I am scared I’ll “mean it” in a moment of anger. It’s mostly when I feel so much love for someone that this starts happening. Thank you so much for replying. I’m having a hard time with this because it’s just getting worse and worse and I feel bad for doing it bc it’s “forbidden” it feels like a bad reason, points to me being selfish and it doesn’t feel like OCD there. Maybe I’m missing something? Either way I appreciate your comment a lot thank you

@andrewt_ Also, just to maybe help brainstorm a bit more: after I had calmed down, my ocd came up with praying to the devil instead. I think the reasons are likely the ones you mentioned, subconsciously reassurance/testing. Beating my ocd to it. Idk. It feels all very scary right now. I appreciate your logical point of view so much. I’m just trying to understand this new devil prayer compulsion thing ugh

@issphra 🫶🏻 Doing it because it’s forbidden is not a bad reason. We are hard-wired to be momentarily drawn towards forbidden things. That doesn’t mean it’s a genuine or meaningful feeling- it isn’t. It’s your brain instinctively testing limits. And actually, it does have to do with OCD especially and here’s why. While it’s normal to feel curious about engaging with the forbidden, because of OCD, you have an even stronger sense of right and wrong. Because your moral compass is so strong, the opposite of it, interacting with the forbidden, feels more irresistible, because it’s even more “immoral” in your eyes, and because both of those opposing forces clash, your brain feels the need to “give in” to reduce the mental tension. It’s a completely automatic response but your OCD makes it feel more urgent. So so many of us feel the need to engage with the forbidden precisely because we really don’t want to. It’s just that this causes tension in your mind and it’s normal to want to momentarily resolve that tension. It’s like touching a hot stove not because you actually want to get burned, but because it’s something your brain has given a lot of attention to. It’s like you feel an urge to touch it to deal with the uncertainty you feel when you do not touch it. There’s many different scenarios where this kind of thing can happen. Your OCD is just using the one with the prayers as proof that you are bad. As for the praying to the devil compulsion, it’s probably yet another manifestation of the need to beat your OCD to it. The idea is, if you have these thoughts first, OCD won’t have power over you, and it’ll be easier to take the power away from the thoughts if they do show up eventually. When you deal with intrusive thoughts constantly you are always on edge and sometimes just thinking them on your own or leaning into what you see as the “worst” way of engaging with the thoughts (maybe praying to the devil in this case) will cause you to not be surprised by whatever else your mind throws at you. It’s a sneaky compulsion. But keep in mind that you don’t have to know the exact reason why you are doing it. There could be many, many reasons that all have to do with OCD. Never forget how complex and layered OCD is. It influences our thinking in subtle and very obvious ways. But none of this makes you a bad person. You are just dealing with a really tricky and sneaky disorder

@andrewt_ Omg dude you just explained what I’ve been trying to understand about myself for years. Thank you so, so much. That all makes SO much sense. Thank you 10000x I appreciate how you took the time to explain and write all of this. Truly, thank you

@issphra 🫶🏻 You are so welcome !! So happy I could help 💛🙏🏼

@needtoescapetheV0ID Thank you so so much for sharing how you relate. It makes me feel so much less alone 🥹🤍 thank you

@alan87 I don’t know, all I know is that I’m scared of these “prayers” and I think I kinda just dive head first into “praying” to get it over with because I’m so scared of them happening. Almost like maybe in a way trying to find reassurance that it doesn’t feel like a real prayer or maybe in a ripping off a bandaid that doesn’t even exist. Does this make sense? In all honesty, it just feels like I’m evil :/

@issphra 🫶🏻 It could be a compulsion, do u see a therapist?

@sanshine It is a compulsion, it’s why I said compulsively praying in the post (it’s the only thing I know for sure unfortunately, the rest I don’t understand), but had to stop seeing a therapist due to financial problems

@issphra 🫶🏻 I don’t know if this would be helpful to you but it was to me… god knows your intentions and your heart so even if your thoughts or you say something in your prayers that you do not mean he knows what your true feelings are. And the fact you’re worried you’re going to hurt someone proves that it’s not what you truly want. The way I started to look at it when I’d get worried I prayed for bad things was I was ranting to someone who could see past the frustration I was conveying at the time and who could give comfort where I truly needed it even if it doesn’t stop the compulsion

@issphra 🫶🏻 I completely understand. Do you have the Bible app or the Hallow app? When you get these thoughts to pray like that, you can actually look up some healing prayers or look up a daily sermon or teaching on YouTube. Something to break the cycle and get you to remember what God and Jesus really are about. Jesus loves you, and he wants you to follow Him.

@issphra 🫶🏻 Then I would say God is merciful and loves u and knows ur true intentions 🌻

@Anonymous005 Thank you for that perspective, it means a lot that you shared that and I will keep it in mind 🤍

@alan87 Thank you for your kind advice, I’m actually not that religious. I grew up very religious but drifted a lot over the years. I think my OCD began to attack that distant part of me that has religion and God so engrained especially since I’ve been turning to prayer a lot more lately. Thank you :)

@sanshine thank you 💛

@issphra 🫶🏻 I can tell you that you don’t have to be religious to have a relationship with God. Following Christ means to love yourself through Him and with Him so that you can love and care for others. God truly is love. Love for God, love for His creation, love for self, and love for your fellow man and woman.

@alan87 I do turn them positive (unfortunately I’ve learned that’s also compulsive lol), but now I’m thinking of dedicating maybe a separate prayer not to balance anything out in a compulsive manner but to genuinely pray yk? Thank you for the help, I didn’t see it as negativity