What is this?

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..