I believe I have moral OCD and I reassurance seek about things because my brain genuinely cannot recognise if I should be upset/worried/ashamed about something or not. My brain just gets locked on one thought and cant get any real perspective. I read a post today on a OCD support group on fb where someone said "bad people often want reassurance to make them feel better about who they are/what they have done and get this reassurance online from people who dont know the full story about them". And it really triggered me because it made me think, am I not a good person? Is this really OCD? what if it's not and I am doing exactly what that person said? And that was so scary to me. I dont think I'm a bad person, I'll admit to making mistakes in the past like every other human on the planet but my intentions were never bad ones. And then I feel scared for even worrying about what that person said bc why would I worry after reading that? I feel like my brain just cant distinguish from reality and the reality that its created and its terrifying.

Thankyou Harper, I do have some real event OCD that I've been dealing with. Mainly its "You're a bad person because in the past you visited porn websites online". My brain has chosen too stick to this thought so much, I cant even get out of the thought long enough to consider porn websites are quite normal in this day and age, and I dont go on them anymore at all and it's been a long time since so why do I still feel such heavy shame? My brain practically tortures me. It's horrible. I've had ocd tendencies, all my brain waits for is something new to latch on to. I spent 2 years convinced I had cancer and now this...

@MJocd Mine is based off of visiting porn sites when younger too. Unfortunately this is the day and age that kids are growing up in. My mom caught my brother watching porn and he’s 8 years old ☹️ I wish the internet were a little safer

@Harper Oh wow really!? That makes me feel a bit better than I'm not alone. I felt like I was the only one! It's true, I wish the internet was much more safer and censored. I stumbled across porn websites when I was 15 and from about 17-20 I visited them quite regularly out of curiosity and just not thinking much about it. When I was 20 though, I had a realisation that porn is just unethical and doesn't align with my moral values at all so I stopped and never went back. Now I'm almost 22, it's been awhile since I viewed porn but I get randomly struck by a memory of porn I may have saw in that time and feel so much shame, and the memory repeats until the point where my brain adds its it's own details in. Its horrible. Porn isn't a nice thing at all, theres all sorts of stuff on those websites and I just wish I had never, ever come across them or been curious about porn or viewed porn at all. I also caught my brother watching porn when he was only 13, from seeing his porn history and it made me really sad.

@MJocd Thanks for sharing guys. I struggle with porn and it’s part of why I developed Scrupilosity and moral ocd

Its horrible:-( so, so horrible!

I’m sorry that sounds rough!!