Today I did a speech about the misconceptions around OCD. And it was going okay I guess. I was shaking a lot because it was scary, but that was only inevitable. Then when it came to answering questions, it all went downhill. I was asked by my teacher what link I had to the disorder so I straight up said it. I said I have OCD, to a class of 30 and to him. And I regret that with all my heart. For the past year, OCD has been ME. It has torn me and shaped me and ruined me and hurt me and made me. So when I said it, and didn’t get the reaction I guess I hoped for... it broke me. Nobody cared. Nobody cares that I had struggled. That I’d cried. That I’d felt so alone. I wonder if I’ll ever be understood by anybody. I fear I looked like an attention seeker for saying it. Or a liar. Or someone trying to gain pity. I don’t know what to think or do. I care so so so much about what they think of me. And nobody even cared. I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Which is so dumb. But I don’t know what else to do. I poured my heart into my words and now I don’t have any left. I’m crying, because I just feel so silly and sad. I wish I could go back in time and not do it. Because now I’m just left feeling so anxious about what I looked like, and so sad about how nobody cared.

Please don't be upset about telling others that you have OCD! I think that was very brave of you. Just remember that people didn't react the way you wanted because they don't understand how awful and consuming the disorder is. It's hard to relate to something you don't understand. It is extremely difficult to describe the severity and gravity of the disorder. They don't know what you have been through with OCD but that's okay. I just try to confide in a select few closest to me like family and close friends as well as online communities. I understand how awful it is! You are not alone and I hope you feel better.

I’m so so so sorry for you ❤️ OCD is a bad thing but we are strong. You are strong ❤️ even tho you have bad days, when ocd gets you. But you also have great days. You’re such an amazing person, who is stronger than you think ❤️

Guys I spoke to my teacher today because I just really needed to clear some things up with him. I actually value him so so much as person hence this whole situation felt 10x worse. And guess what! His whole family has OCD. So I guess he liked my speech, and felt interested in it. Which made me so happy. He also recommended a podcast which felt so great! I feel so much better today. Thank you all for being so lovely. I felt so so low yesterday and you picked me up. I really wish the best for you ❤️

Yes I'm very thankful for this community and others as well. I don't think anyone thought you were an attention seeker. If someone had given a speech on cancer and said that they personally had cancer before, everyone would understand and be empathetic. A mental disorder should be no different! Hope you have a good rest of your day and that you feel some peace today.

I have to say, I mean saying those words out loud to a group of people takes courage.

You’re so brave ❤️❤️❤️

Hey Eden!! Congrats on that speech, that's so cool of you to do that, really admire it! I am in a graduate program and everyone knows I have OCD and they don't think anything of it. If they didn't react they probably just didn't know what to say, but they do care! It's not attention seeking to disclose a mental illness. It's just like disclosing anything else :)

YOU’RE SO BRAVE