- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Exactly. I’ve even had people at work notice my compulsions and ask if I’m alright...it gets annoying being so misunderstood..They look at me with dirty looks. Like you, if I don’t engage in my compulsion after I have an anxiety provoking spike I feel that anxiety for several minutes and sometimes several hours. Over the past year and a half I feel like I’ve had ups and downs, but recently it feels like I’m getting more spikes than usual. However, I feel that I have gained some insight into solving some of the anxiety through techniques I’ve developed myself. They’re not perfect, but I feel they are a start.
- Date posted
- 5y
It truly can not get anymore frustrating I was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD at around 8 years old and even now people including my family members can not grasp the concept of my compulsions.People in my family tend to think I chose to do the things I do when In reality I’m trapped due to the fact that if I don’t do them I’m going to suffer anxiety.I too tend to have my ups and downs I feel as tho my OCD spikes due to my stress etc..People misunderstanding OCD does not help what so ever on to my anxiety and when ever you try to explain it they tend to think I’m going insane..
- Date posted
- 5y
I also feel like sometimes it is taboo to mention it. I think it is largely because it is generally poorly understood.
- Date posted
- 5y
Absolutely Ella1701. I feel like I can’t speak of it around my own family because they simply don’t understand OCD...they always tell me “Just think good thoughts”...lol if it were only that easy I would. I understand you. I also agree that OCD is a taboo that seems to be only understood by those actually suffering from clinical OCD, and not just someone who throws around “ohh it must be my OCD!” Like it’s some joke. I understand you well.
- Date posted
- 5y
I grew up having no way to explain how I felt or what I was going through to anyone people who saw me going through with my compulsions genuinely like to assume I’m just some weirdo.. like I’d actually love to have a choice but if I don’t do them then I most likely going to have a panic attack and be stressed without the day over thinking that one I did not do and that is so hard for people to understand or grasp the concept of.
- Date posted
- 5y
Wow is all I can say. My experience with the spikes then having to endulge in a compulsion to lessen their negative anxiety inducing effect is something I deal with on a daily basis. I’ve tried my best to explain my experience to friends and family alike and it never seems to cross their understanding. What I have been thinking of recently Ella is that there must be some kind of link between all of the subtypes of OCD. I feel if we can discover what that is then we can treat it much better if not eliminate OCD period. I say this because I was thinking one day on this: I was thinking OCD is like digging a hole in the ground. Before you start digging is before you have or start experiencing OCD, it’s when we felt the best in our lives..then at some point we started digging a hole in our self awareness and happiness...and the more we dug the bigger the hole got. So through this thought process I thought that at some point we can’t dig any deeper without jumping in the hole...so all that dirt we dug behind us can just as easily be shoveled back into that massive hole and doing so would return us back to mental wellness, as we were before we started digging. I know how you feel trapped during a compulsion because I’ve had that happen to me so many times I’ve lost count.
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel lost for words honestly that theory is in my eyes is spot on.As a child under the age of 6 I showed no signs of OCD or anxiety I was as happy as day and then in my eyes I feel my anxiety was triggered due to insecurities and bullying and may have stemmed my OCD as it came out during my worse time and then from there on seemed to only progress over the past year or so I’ve been trying to focus on decreasing my OCD but I’m yet to find away which I feel would work for me.
- Date posted
- 5y
I am in the exact same process Ella. I’m 32 and my OCD started when I turned 30. I have experienced many different subtypes over these past 2 years. It seems to me that when one obsession runs its course, the next obsession is lurking just around the corner and the horrible part is I never could personally anticipate the next obsession. It just seems like I’ll be in one place and then I’ll have a random thought that’s encouraged by my surroundings. It could be a random person then I might have harm OCD towards them or something completely different. Once I see that person and formulate that harmful thought about them my spike occurs and I get hit with immense anxiety like I’ve actually done to them what I thought. Then to decrease my anxiety I will have to perform my compulsion and immediately turn around and look at them to make sure they are Ok. Once I visually see that they’re ok my anxiety goes from a 10 down to about a 2....everything seems ok... then a half hour later I have another obsession “what if when you turned around to see the ok person, that was really in your mind and that person is not ok....and on and on. I would happy to keep in contact with you Ella so we can discuss OCD further. I really like your input. Thanks
- Date posted
- 5y
Due to my anxiety and depression my ocd went from more of a contamination ocd and BDD to a constantly obsessing over if I would harm my self.After just leaving therapy for Self harm related issues I though a battle with my stop but all my obsessions at the time where over if I would cause harm to my self.In some ways I feel that my ocd adapts to the situations I’m going through stress etc.In some ways most of my mental health/health issues seem to link in each other. To add to this my ocd seems to have risen over the last couple of days with Christmas coming and I’m on edge about how other members of my family who will be around me will view me.I too would be happy to keep in contact.I hope you have a lovely Christmas.
- Date posted
- 5y
Absolutely, you have a Merry Christmas as well.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
- Date posted
- 15w
harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.
- Date posted
- 10w
I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant change… and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.
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