I feel like im in hell. I feel so bad and i feel so doomed. For 1.5 years i fighting with ocd, mostly pure o. 3 2.5 months ago it start to attack my relationship. She is the most precious thing in my life and i understand thats why the icd attack it. Im struggle with maintain love, attraction, emotions the most. In the last days i started to feel very numb and its "connect" me to the idea i dont love her and not attracted to her. It made me to be even more scared to my life when i noticed that ive short breath while kissing her, because im so scared amd ashamed that i kiss her while ive got all of those thoughts. I noticed that i check my emotion stability toward her which make it worse. Also, i read on wikipedia about pure o and they wrote there about that pure o relationship ocd is in most cases lead to break up and it triggered me so much. I dont want to loose her, never, no matter how much im suffer. She gave and giving me the powet to cope with this demon. I know its all ocd and i try to live my life without ocd and my love in my conor and something teying to hurt us and its makes me crazy.

katcp

Date posted: 5y

Hey I have Pure O and am currently with the love of my life. I feel crazy too and on my worst days I just want to run away but my partner is the greatest thing in my life so I fight my OCD every day. I am trying to mood log more when stress triggers arise (work is the worst trigger) and to meditate. I am learning through the work to separate my thoughts with who I am and OCD will attack what you love the most. Sounds like you have a deep commitment for your partner if your OCD is wylin’ out

LirLavi

Date posted: 5y

I feel you so much. I will get to a therapist, but until than i try to cope with it. Listen, for the first month of recovery - you will feel the most intense episode. After that, you start to feel better. Did you got an information about this kind of issue to focus the therapy on? Pals, one things is for sure - we struggled and fear to death because we love them the most.

elleeen

Date posted: 5y

I feel u.

magical-thin...

Date posted: 5y

I understand, that’s really hard. OCD is so terrible isn’t it? I would recommend writing down everything, and I mean EVERYTHING you love about her. what you love about her style, her personality, the things she does. maybe even keep a journal just about your relationship, what you did for her today, what she did for you today. I think that will open your eyes, and show that you truly do love her, and have always loved her, it’s just OCD that’s trying to come in and fuck with everything, but it WONT! :)

LirLavi

Date posted: 5y

Yes, indeed. The thought that im out of love with her makes me to feel like im burning by the devil itself. I dont know what am i support to do, what my actually the fear and how to look on my feelings. I know that i numb because if anxeity, but i dont know what to do with it

katcp

Date posted: 5y

Working with a therapist has helped with diagnosis (though my OCD loves challenging the diagnosis lol) and we focus on mood logging and recovery circles to help untangle the thoughts. I keep a feelings wheel picture on my phone in intense flare ups to be in touch with what I am feeling. Developing a strong sense of Self is a key focus. Self-nurturing your self helps build your confidence. I meditate, ride my bike, and sing in a choir to build that so I can challenge my OCD thoughts. It will look different for you, of course, but keep on finding what you love about your self and what you know to be true. OCDDoodles is a fun instagram account, the owner says to lead with your values. From what I see you value the heck out of your partner (as I love mine!) I know sometimes the OCD feels real but we take it day by day!

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