- Date posted
- 5y
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi all, I’m a therapist here at NOCD. I read the original post asking about depersonalization and derealization. I wanted to add something you might find helpful. When you are having obsessive/intrusive/unwanted thought, I recommend not going to the compulsion. Stick with the thought, example -is this real or the feeling - I feel disconnected from others. Like the earlier post, accept that you feel this way or have this thought. Don’t let your mind wander away and go to the next thought or the next behavior. Accept it and then you can do an exercise to stay present. I call this exercise a “factual observation”. Look around you, state what you see, what you hear, using your senses can be like a reset. Bringing you back to the present. Give it a try and I hope it is helpful.
- Date posted
- 5y
Would vocalising any current thoughts and feelings with my parter be a compulsion?
- Date posted
- 5y
If mine is really bad then I have a song I listen to or if I can go for a walk outside that really help make me feel more grounded.
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel your pain!! This was me for the past 2.5 years. The best way I found is to just accept how you feel at this moment and realize it will not last forever. Accept all the “what if’s” and other scary possibilities, and you’ll realize that it’s not as bad or as scary as you think it is. Try not to seek reassurance and definitely stay off online forums, etc. regarding DPDR. There’s a lot of negativity there and it can be really difficult to break out of dpdr if you continue to research it. Try your best to accept it and in time, little by little it will go away.
- Date posted
- 5y
What’s dpdr?
- Date posted
- 5y
Just a short cut for depersonalization/ derealization!
- Date posted
- 5y
The last time I experienced this I ended up using a game on my phone and it literally took all the horrible feelings away and I started to feel myself again and just content. Even if your not into games on phones just take a look at what they have and you’ll probably find something ☺️
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi lulu23 sorry I wasn’t online yesterday and this is a late response but I wanted to answer your question. It’s difficult to say because I don’t know what your symptoms look like before and now. I hear what you are saying in regards to struggling with the depersonalization - dpdr. In my experience of working with OCD clients, some struggle with these types of obsessive thoughts. In my work with these clients, treating these obsessive thoughts like any other obsessive thought and practicing your ERP to stick with the thought until the anxiety passes - not going to the compulsion which can be checking, seeming reassurance and the other examples given through out the posts here. In summary, whether your obsessive thoughts are about the symptoms of depersonalization, exentensial, derealization, or any other thought, it still has to be treated like an OCD thought. Your coping mechanisms can be the ERP skill set to move past these obsessive thoughts. As mentioned here in many posts, thoughts can change, abruptly or slowly, but they can change and we just have to stay focused on doing our ERP no matter what pops up and gets in our way. Please let me know if that helps at all to answer your question and see if it works for you and keep us updated. We care about your progress!
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi FOCD123. Saying your thoughts out loud and vocalizing they doesn’t necessarily mean that is a compulsion. Sometimes saying your thoughts out loud can help keep you focused on the thought and keep your mind from wandering to the checking or compulsion. However, if saying your thoughts out loud is something you feel like you have to do and it brings you relief, it can be your compulsion. Seeking reassurance from your partner by telling them your thoughts can be a compulsion. Pay attention to how it makes you feel, if you feel the urgency of telling your thoughts or the urgency to get a reply, most likely can be a compulsion. It’s difficult for you to know until you get really good at separating the trigger from the obsessive thought and from the compulsion behavior. So, it can a challenge for me to answer that question unless we were working together and I knew better what your patterns look like. I’m sorry, I’m sure that wasn’t the answer you were looking for. Try to separate like I talked about. Using the worksheets will bring clarity as well. Wishing you much success! You can do this!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks terrie! I’m starting therapy this Thursday here in the UK so starting to get excited!
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s great to hear! Good for you and I know you will do great! ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Can we treat dpdr the same way we treat ocd? Can we go into our fears to overcome them? Many people that have derealization/depersonilization tell me there’s no need to trigger myself but I’ve been taught the opposite with ocd
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi lulu23. I’m not sure what you mean, could you give me a little more information? Can we treat derealization and depersonilization the same way we treat OCD symptoms using ERP?
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes exactly. I have read in various dpdr forums that dpdr itself causes sufferers to have intrusive existential thoughts that increase the feelings of dpdr. I’m under the impression that to get rid of these type of thoughts I should expose myself to them but people in the community have told me I should avoid what triggers my dpdr feelings. I’m kind of at a point where I’m not sure I still have dpdr or if it’s just the thoughts that I had while feeling very dissociated that’s stuck around. I feel like The thoughts and feelings associated with the dpdr were stranger than any of the thoughts I’ve ever had with just ocd. Ive also heard that dpdr is just ocd that has reached 10/10 severity so you think there is any truth to that? Sorry if this makes no sense I tried my best to explain and sorry for the length.
- Date posted
- 5y
Meant to say do you not so you* sorry about that.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
I recently posted about my experience with Existential OCD (https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts/2184668), and one of the most common questions I got was how to deal with DPDR (depersonalization and derealization), as it often goes hand-in-hand with existential obsessions. I wanted to create this post to summarize my thoughts and understanding of DPDR, so I have something to point people towards. For context, I'm not a trained mental health professional, doctor, or neuroscientist. I'm just someone who has been through the gambit with OCD, and has learned about the mind through conversations with several therapists, reading books, and watching videos. I also regularly consult with a few Buddhist teachers, and have been practicing meditation for several years. Please keep all of this in mind, and take everything I say with a grain of salt. First, some quick terminology: Depersonalization = a feeling of "detachment" from your own body, almost as if you're living life as an autonomous robot. Derealization = a feeling of "detachment" from the outside world, where people, places, and things feel distant or alien. They often go hand-in-hand, and mainly differ in terms of what feels "unreal" (yourself, or the outside world). It's easy to see how this can coincide with obsessive existential thoughts. After all, when things feel unreal, how can you help but think about the big questions of existence? So these feelings often make those with OCD extremely uncomfortable, and the desire to make it "go away" inevitably arises. But, just like with anxiety, most attempts to "get rid" of it generally make it worse. Even grounding exercises can become problematic if the goal of those exercises is to get rid of DPDR, just like any other compulsion. That's why my first piece of advice is always to acknowledge and accept the feeling. One way to get comfortable accepting any feeling is to understand where it comes from. As of today, the exact neurobiological workings of DPDR aren't fully understood, but one thing seems to be pretty clear: DPDR is the result of the brain momentarily shifting gears to protect itself from overwhelm. It's something that happens when you are stressed, and/or burnt out. It's the brain protecting itself from overstimulation, similar to a circuit breaker closing down parts of an electrical circuit to prevent overloading. It's important not to take this information as reassurance against the existential intrusive thoughts that arise during DPDR, rather simply as an explanation as to what is happening in the present moment. I'm a big proponent of using "maybe, maybe not" responses to intrusive thoughts. So in the case of DPDR, you may considering responding to the existential thoughts with: "Maybe that's true, maybe it isn't. Right now, this brain is overwhelmed, and it is protecting itself." (Side note: the use of "this brain" instead of "my brain" is a habit I've picked up from Buddhist philosophy. It's a way of practicing non-attachment to the self. If that doesn't work for you then feel free to phrase it in whatever way makes sense. I also recognize the beautiful irony of bringing up non-attachment in a post about DPDR 😂) Basically, you want to acknowledge the existential thoughts, acknowledge the feeling of DPDR, acknowledge that the DPDR is coming from a place of stress, and then refocus your attention to the present moment. The key is to not refocus your attention in hopes to GET RID of the thoughts or feelings, but to do it DESPITE those things. You need to teach yourself first-hand that none of those things are dangerous, and that you can continue to live life while scary thoughts exist in the mind, and while you feel uncomfortable things. The more you try to push the DPDR away, or logically dig yourself out of a hole, the more stressed you will become. And since DPDR is a stress response, this will only cause it to stick around longer. It's the same ironic cycle that fuels the intrusive thought / compulsion loop. Sometimes it can last for a few minutes, a few hours, days, weeks, or even months. While DPDR disorder exists, in many cases (especially with OCD), DPDR tends to persist because of our resistance to it. If you find that it just won't go away, try not to get discouraged. Instead, look for the resistance, and consider how you may be able to open up to the experience in a lighter way. If you find yourself resisting, gently remind yourself: "I don’t need to figure this out right now. I can let the brain do its thing and focus on living life." It can also help to recontextualize the DPDR. I like to think of it like a warm blanket or sweater, or the brain taking a nap. You wouldn't want to wake someone up from a nap, would you? Let 'em rest! I hope there is something helpful here for those struggling with this issue. Trust me, I've been there.
- Existential OCD
- Health Concern OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w
Hello everyone! I’m starting to recognize when my thoughts begin to spiral, when i’m seeking reassurance or checking. But I still have the sense of uneasiness and anxiety. I was wondering what others do that allow them to move forward with their day when they realize this? I don’t know if I’m making sense, but what are ways you pull the focus back to the present and yourself? Like besides saying “maybe or maybe not”, more like what do you do with yourself after you recognize the thoughts? I feel like I’m at a “now what?” and don’t know what to do with my anxious energy. I’m trying to find something physical to help me so if you also have any hobbies or interests that help I would love to hear it.
- Date posted
- 11w
Hi all, First time posting and it comes in the midst of a big spiral and panic. Currently dealing with what we think is borderline existential OCD where I feel like I’ve come to believe that I’m not real, that this is all a dream, that I’m actually a psychotic person walking down the street imagining all of this. Got very triggered yesterday by seeing someone screaming and yelling at what seemed to be nothing. Had a panic attack this morning and just haven’t been a wreck since worrying that I’m going to end up in psych ward, realize I’m actually crazy, etc. Been in NOCD therapy for almost 4 months now and still struggling to sit with the uncertainty, avoid researching, seeking reassurance, and most of all ruminating. Anyone go through something similar and if so what were key tactics you used during these spirals to calm things down and recenter yourself?
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