- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe write pros and cons of hanging out with him? I’m not sure how else to help, but I hope you go for it! I like when I’m scared to do something, but actually go for it and it goes well. It feels really good
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s usually what happens, I hang out with him and it’s fine and I love it. But I just can’t get myself to do it. It’s so hard for me, I just want to feel normal about everything :(
- Date posted
- 5y
I have the same issue with friends, not so much with my wife anymore. I think it’s social anxiety, you’re afraid deep down that you might screw up or not have fun or something normal that’s part of any relationship but you want perfection. At least that’s what happens to me as I diagnose my reasoning. Try to convince yourself to accept imperfection and just be yourself. That’s the only way you’d want someone around anyway...
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s exactly what it is!! I’m so scared I’m going to mess stuff up, or it will get awkward, or he will not want to date me anymore. I just want to have so much fun, but I feel like I can’t. I’m definitely going to do it because I know if I don’t I’m just fueling my social anxiety but it’s sooo hard.
- Date posted
- 5y
Most definitely a struggle but once you normalize that struggle you won’t see it as the same struggle.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much that made me feel way better about all of it :)
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel the same way, its like you took the words right out of my brain! You are not alone :) I would try and think about WHY you get anxious. For me, hanging out with friends made me nervous because of social anxiety. But hanging out with my bf made me nervous because of scrupulosity ocd (i worried i was being morally wrong by spending time with a boy) and because of perfectionism (i should be spending my time studying in the library instead of having fun with my bf). So maybe try asking yourself why you yourself get anxious thinking about hanging out with your bf?
- Date posted
- 5y
The people who wrote the moral codes are not God, they are flawed like everyone and often much more because they’re hypocritical as they act out as well. If they want to live from a book, so be it. We should never live by other’s words. Make up your mind as to what brings you joy, it’s your life and as long as you’re not hurting anyone else, live!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi, I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been struggling for the past month, it’s been a mix of ocd flare ups and depressive episodes. I recently got into a new relationship, one I was not expecting at all as I had just broken up with my long term boyfriend over the summer and was expecting the cycle of being alone for a few years and then dating again. But anyways, my current boyfriend is amazing and so caring and sweet, I told him before we even started dating about my ocd and how I sometimes need constant reassurance and that it can be a lot to deal with it and that I can become clingy and annoying and he didn’t even bat an eye, he just said he likes me as I am and that he will be able to help and support me. We’re dating long distance rn as I’m finishing up college but we constantly text and video chat/call almost every night. My ocd has been constantly gnawing at that and it’s causing my abandonment issues to flare up horribly, I’ve told him a little bit about my ex boyfriend as he was not a very good person, he was much older than me (12 years) and at the start of our relationship he was amazing and said he could deal with my mental health issues (I know no one is obligated at all) but I would communicate to him that it scares me when he doesn’t talk to me for weeks at a time, and at first he said he would try to be better about that but then it turned into him saying I’m annoying and clingy and that I bother him and that he just wants alone time but during that alone time I wouldn’t hear from him at all for two weeks. He also stopped caring about my interests and said I was annoying when I would talk about them and would even get mad when I tried to talk about my day. Anyways being in this new relationship has caused me to fear that my current boyfriend is going to leave me, lost interest in me or that he’s annoyed with me and hates me, which unfortunately has caused me to give into my compulsion of reassurance so I’ve been asking him a lot “do you still like me?” “We’re still together right?” “Have I annoyed you?” And I hate myself for doing that. He is so sweet and I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to drain him, i genuinely have never felt this way about anyone I’ve dated but it’s like he was meant to be in my life and we clicked instantly like it felt like we’ve known each other forever and I don’t want to lose him. My avoidance is getting bad and I’m trying to stop myself from pushing him away but I just feel so guilty and ughhhh it’s so frustrating. I just don’t know how to handle this, I want to be with him and I want to make him happy but I hate that my brain works this way.
- Date posted
- 25w
This weekend, my boyfriend came to visit me. Before he arrived, I had so many compulsions—I was constantly seeking reassurance, even talking to ChatGPT right up until he got to my house. When he arrived, I tried to listen to what ChatGPT had told me and focus on being present. Even though I still had intrusive thoughts, I was able to feel better at times—I felt love, I wanted to kiss him, and I had moments of connection. But at the same time, there were moments where he would speak kindly to me or express his feelings, and I would have thoughts like “I don’t care about him” or “I feel nothing.” I didn’t feel the compassion I thought I should, and that scared me. Still, overall, I felt relatively better than usual. I had NOCD uninstalled until now, and on Wednesday, I have my first therapy appointment. But now, I’m doubting whether I even need therapy. I start thinking: “What if I can heal on my own?” or “What if going to therapy is a mistake?” And the worst one: “What if I go and realize I don’t have ROCD, and I actually just don’t like my boyfriend?” My boyfriend keeps trying to help me see things rationally. He told me that I have unrealistic expectations of love and that I don’t need to feel constant affection to be in love. He also told me that if I truly didn’t love him, I wouldn’t be feeling so much distress about this. And logically, I know that’s true, but intrusive thoughts still scream the opposite. After he left, I started feeling irritated with him when he talked through messages on the gc woth me and my best friend, like I couldn’t stand him, and that thought scared me. I also had moments thinking about that boy from school, that my mind was scared if me thinking about that random boy i dont know because a while ago i was scared of looking at other boys, ghinking im a horible gf . When I kissed my boyfriend, sometimes his image popped into my head, and I felt terrible. My boyfriend tells me that since I feel guilty and distressed, it’s proof that I love him—because I wouldn’t be this anxious if I didn’t care. But then I get thoughts saying the exact opposite. It’s like my mind keeps creating arguments to convince me that my worst fear is real. I’m exhausted
- Date posted
- 23w
ocd makes lying SO hard for me. i get stuck on it and feel ridiculously guilty even when it’s nothing important. i was supposed to go to a birthday party thing tmrw for a bunch of people im not really close with, but my one close-ish friend is going so i had originally planned on it and told everyone yes. however im very introverted and i planned on canceling deep down because i just don’t know how to say no. i considered MAYBE going if i felt up to it but i really don’t now that its tomorrow. its also an hour drive and i don’t feel im up to that. i just texted my friends and my closer friend and pretended im sick with a fever as an excuse not to go. im so anxious over it now because i hate cancelling things last minute and i hate lying. ocd makes it impossible and i feel like the worst person even when its the lightest lies!!! i just wanna chill day LOL but i feel im going to be worrying about whether they hate me now or not
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