- Username
- crazyfeelings
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Maybe write pros and cons of hanging out with him? I’m not sure how else to help, but I hope you go for it! I like when I’m scared to do something, but actually go for it and it goes well. It feels really good
That’s usually what happens, I hang out with him and it’s fine and I love it. But I just can’t get myself to do it. It’s so hard for me, I just want to feel normal about everything :(
I have the same issue with friends, not so much with my wife anymore. I think it’s social anxiety, you’re afraid deep down that you might screw up or not have fun or something normal that’s part of any relationship but you want perfection. At least that’s what happens to me as I diagnose my reasoning. Try to convince yourself to accept imperfection and just be yourself. That’s the only way you’d want someone around anyway...
That’s exactly what it is!! I’m so scared I’m going to mess stuff up, or it will get awkward, or he will not want to date me anymore. I just want to have so much fun, but I feel like I can’t. I’m definitely going to do it because I know if I don’t I’m just fueling my social anxiety but it’s sooo hard.
Most definitely a struggle but once you normalize that struggle you won’t see it as the same struggle.
Thank you so much that made me feel way better about all of it :)
I feel the same way, its like you took the words right out of my brain! You are not alone :) I would try and think about WHY you get anxious. For me, hanging out with friends made me nervous because of social anxiety. But hanging out with my bf made me nervous because of scrupulosity ocd (i worried i was being morally wrong by spending time with a boy) and because of perfectionism (i should be spending my time studying in the library instead of having fun with my bf). So maybe try asking yourself why you yourself get anxious thinking about hanging out with your bf?
The people who wrote the moral codes are not God, they are flawed like everyone and often much more because they’re hypocritical as they act out as well. If they want to live from a book, so be it. We should never live by other’s words. Make up your mind as to what brings you joy, it’s your life and as long as you’re not hurting anyone else, live!
Anyone with HOCD/ROCD have any tips about going on a date when the thought of it makes you want to die of anxiousness? I’ve been talking to this guy on tinder who seems nice and everything but every time in the past that I’ve started talking to someone and say yes to a date, I literally cancel the next day cause I’m so deathly afraid. This isn’t even necessarily ocd’s fault I’ve always just been scared to death of this kinda thing but obviously having hocd, and what I believe is pre-rocd thoughts, make it seem literally impossible. But I WANT it. I think about having a boyfriend all the time. Ocd is so detrimental to everything you want it’s so frustrating. Ik- news flash haha. Anyways. Should I go? Is this bad timing- will I make everything worse for myself? He’s really cute and seems really nice. Jeez idk idk idk.
How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.
i'm scared I don't have OCD, I used to be 50/50 about it but now I just keep doubting I do. The reason i'm scared is because I can't feel anything for my girlfriend anymore, sometimes I do and want to love up on her but other times I just feel unnatracted to her and don't feel anything for her. This is taking a tole on the both of us, she cries alot because she knows what i'm going through but it's also hurting her. I also sometimes (not very often) think about breaking up with her or being with someone else and it scares me because I want to love her and only her and only be with her. I'm afraid I should break up with her but I really don't want to. Whenever she compliments me I get uncomfortable, sometimes whenever she says I love you I hesitate to say it because I feel kind of guilty and I can't really feel anything. She picks up on all of these things which makes it even harder to really hide. i know I shouldn't hide it but she's the crying type and I upset her too much already with all of this. Someone please tell me they can relate or that it's OCD, can someone please help me?
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