- Username
- bcsguitar
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I remind myself that it’s just a theme in OCD, and that the content of my thoughts do not matter. I like the 4 step thing where you notice the thought, say it’s not me it’s my ocd, and then refocus your attention as to not ruminate or do a compulsion. I don’t always do this, because I don’t want it to become a compulsion itself, but sometimes when I’m feeling extra stuck reminding myself that it’s not me it’s my OCD helps a ton with separating me from it. When you’re feeling anxious, try to do an exposure. Our thoughts can be our exposures with this theme, so think about it and purposely add more thoughts until the anxiety goes down. I know it’s seems really scary, but the fear is false. I hope this helps, I struggle with this theme too.
You aren’t alone, I struggle with this too... try not to attach meaning to the intrusive thoughts. After I have them I may ruminate on them on any other intrusive thoughts in the past of the same theme, sometimes even other themes, then ruminate on memories or experiences to find some “meaning” to connect with the intrusive thought and that can be very scary. Looking up more about false memories was helpful for me because sometimes my memories become cloudy and it makes me anxious about my pocd. Could I do something? Do I do something? Did someone do something to me? What happened exactly? Am I having these thoughts because I want to do them? Rabbit hole...
i struggle with this also, i just try not to let myself go down the “rabbit hole” just sitting with the discomfort of the original thought instead of moving on from what if to the next what if
Your brain likes to create patterns, once you see there is a pattern you can interrupt that pattern
If you have created patterns, then that means you can change them and create new patterns. I read somewhere it takes like 1-2 months to create or stop a habit. I’ve been reacting to my thoughts differently by not reacting. Meaning I’ll let them be there and let them be as loud as they want but I won’t react and if I do I’ll say it’s just OCD or I’ll just be like whatever. I have noticed a significant difference in the way I react to them and a huge decrease in anxiety. You can do it!
@0823 - that's a good point, and important to remember! Just as easily as I made the pattern, I can change it. The brain is programmable.
Hey everyone, thanks for the thoughtful replies! As I've been thinking about this I feel like my thought path has changed after going down too many rabbit holes. It used to be something like: "trigger -> am I a pedophile? -> Let's test it! -> horrible thought! -> did you react as expected? (Spoiler: no, you didn't) -> now you feel terrible!" NOW, I feel like the test part of it is cut out, and the path is more like "trigger -> horrible thought!! -> now you feel terrible for a variety of reasons!". It sounds to me like I've spent too much time thinking through this stuff, and now my brain (which loves patterns) just automatically makes the association, and skips right to having terrible thoughts. I'm scared I won't be able to break the association, and every time I see a trigger (like a child) I'll have terrible thoughts and lose my grip on my life.
Have you reached out for therapy?
@Dee - I have started therapy, but I think I'm going to look for a new therapist as my current therapist seems to only be treating one manifestation of my OCD.
Does anyone else try accepting thier thoughts and just thinking whatever to them? I have severe pocd and I can understand the concwpt of just accepting them as thoughts. But what do you do when you see a preety little girl for example? I just think she's preety abd the I think does that mean attractive??....
Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.
hi everyone! i struggle really badly with pocd. today ive been trying to not avoid places where i know there will be children and watch harmless videos that have come on my feed on social media instead of scrolling straight past them and it has helped a bit. but i keep getting awful thoughts of like thinking i like these thoughts and i do actually want these thoughts and that i really am a p*dophile and i feel like it’s setting me back but i know i have to face that and just carry on. i also keep having doubts of whether this really is ocd and i really am an awful person. i hate it so so much and i keep having panic attacks which make me overwhelmed and i just see no way out. is this normal? if anyone could share their experiences or just some advice it would be very much appreciated!
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