- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Happy Valentine's Day and false memories are memories that never happened but you feel like they did happen and you start to believe them.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I mean it's when I'm confused if this happened for real or it was in my dream some time ago ? Is it a false memorie as well?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'll use a scenario I'm going through: My boiler broke before Christmas. Small leak, still usable and fixed within 4 days. Bit of an anxious tone, but nothing major. - that's the reality. Now, my mind plays it back as follows: The boiler was POURING BOILING water over the place. The house was freezing cold. My family felt let down by me because it happened and I am generally a failure as a father and husband. So, that's the real and false past. how does it make ne feel today? Well, I can no longer go in to the kitchen as the boiler will explode on me. My family going in the kitchen sends me in to a state of utter meltdown. This is why rumination is so bad, especially for those with OCD. The past was a disaster, the future will be worse and the end result a lot of people end up with is being scared to live life. So, the question shouldn't even exist. You shouldn't ask what false memories are because they are in the past. No matter if they ate real or not, they don't control your future, so don't give those memories the time they ask for. Hope thay makes sense?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Not to discredit the link and this 100% DOES exist, but, I think it's somewhat harmful to keep classing thinks as different forms of OCD. At the end of the day they are all just OCD. The way it's treated is mostly the same way. If you start putting a different term on each thing, you could start treating the individual type of OCD. This may cure you in the short term, but long term, OCD in general will find a new easy to trip you up which may fall under one of these other OCD sub types. Ate you then going to get therapy for reach individual OCD sub type ad they appear, or treated for OCD in general, which makes fat more sense...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Riso123 I completely agree. It’s just that I think it helps to accept uncertainty when you know exactly how much your ocd is capable of.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Is it like for example ? I remember something and I dont know if it happened or it happened in my dream ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes it probably is but the @Riso123 can explain it better. Im not the best at advicing on this since im suffering with distinguishing reality from the fake memories.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 5y ago
100%. Who cares if they compare you People do make comparisons, but your wife is with you, you age happy together and her family are ultimately likely pleased their daughter is happy with someone she loves.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thanks I understand now. Looks like I had this first time when I was 18 ;(
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Riso123 yes it makes sense .it seems like weird emotion of feeling guilty . i had this once too when i had a bf i went out to have some fun with friends at a party and when i woke up in the morning i didnt know if i cheated on him or no but i had weird feeling that i did cheat on him but i didnt remember anything cause i had too much alcohol , and i was anxious until I checked my private female parts if they feel different but it was all the same ( It was long time ago and I had long distance relationship with my boyfriend). But now those "memories " aren't that dramatic they are just random and theme is just "did I do it or no ? " so I dont know it's weird too me. Maybe it's a side effect on quitting of antidepressants but I stopped taking them 3months ago . I also had weird feeling of a deja vu few times a week in January this year
Related posts
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
- Date posted
- 7w ago
Currently I have several different OCD fears that pop up throughout the week depending on the situation. I've noticed a commonality between all of them are the fears relating to memory/false memory. Today is the ROCD struggle I've been dealing with. I know OCD has been trying this on me lately because of how much I love my spouse. They are my absolute best friend and she's my world. I value our marriage and friendship more than anything. OCD has latched onto one specific female coworker. And I don't even know why because even if I were single I wouldn't be into her. Even still, OCD makes me think I've cheated on my wife every time I'm alone with this coworker at work. Always starts as a what if, followed by imagery, followed by feelings that I must've actually done something and can't remember it. Usually fearing I've kissed her. It hurts because I know I'd never do that to my wife and I love her so much...the idea of losing her kills me, especially if it were the result of something I did. Just wanted to vent. Feel free to share your experiences or vents as well
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